GENERAL DISCUSSIONS

Pirates Versus Ninjas

POSTED BY: THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES
UPDATED: Wednesday, March 8, 2006 13:27
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 8307
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Saturday, March 4, 2006 7:58 PM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


Not only was Serenity one of the best movies of 2005 but it ends one of the greatist philosofical debates of our generation...pirates v Ninja

Mal=Scifi Pirate
Operative=Scifi Ninja

there you have it Pirates win...and Ninjas are "Whiners"


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Saturday, March 4, 2006 8:21 PM

FLETCH2


Yes but it takes both of them working together to kill a Mockingbird

http://www.stanford.edu/~scodary/tkam.htm

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 8:43 PM

HYDRAGON


The Pirates Vs. Ninjas debate is just a cover-up for the REAL argument.


Vampire Slayers vs. Psychic Ballerinas

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 9:38 PM

SCORPIONREGENT


Interesting question. It seems to me that neither is prone to fight fair.

Scorpion Regent

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 9:48 PM

THEPISTONENGINE


Quote:

Originally posted by themantheycalledJames:
Not only was Serenity one of the best movies of 2005 but it ends one of the greatist philosofical debates of our generation...pirates v Ninja

Mal=Scifi Pirate
Operative=Scifi Ninja

there you have it Pirates win...and Ninjas are "Whiners"




Mal and the operative aside, Pirates would wax ninja ass any day. Argh, me mateys!

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 10:05 PM

CHRISMOORHEAD


I gave a long discourse of the great Ninja-Pirate Wars of the 80's to a few comrads in the Army one time. I even included the part about the Cowboy cease-fire of 87', but they all thought I was joking.

Have you ever:
Used your teeth as wire strippers?
Given yourself stitches?
Made improvised munitions with no base supplies?
Pissed in a canteen?
Gone a month without bathing?

If so, you MIGHT just be a !HOOAH MOTHERF*CKER!

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 10:08 PM

HARDAN


Pirates, hands down!

-----------------------------
Yes there are Fireflyfans all over the world. Even in little switzerland.

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Saturday, March 4, 2006 11:56 PM

CITIZEN


What if the Ninjas were Space Monkey Ninja's, what then?



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 1:10 AM

UROTSUKIDOJI


pirates are nothing but scurvy infested, stanky ass, illiterate roustabouts. their cheap rusty cutlasses would shatter against a ninja's sword, assuming the pirates heard the ninjas sneaking up in time to draw their pathetic swords, which they wouldn't.

oh, and Reavers are basically space pirates, and River is a ninja ballerina, so do the math on that. Ninjas will always reign supreme.

"You can guess what happens next."
"He fixes the cable?"

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 6:21 AM

KIZYR


Quote:

Originally posted by Urotsukidoji:
pirates are nothing but scurvy infested, stanky ass, illiterate roustabouts. their cheap rusty cutlasses would shatter against a ninja's sword, assuming the pirates heard the ninjas sneaking up in time to draw their pathetic swords, which they wouldn't.

oh, and Reavers are basically space pirates, and River is a ninja ballerina, so do the math on that. Ninjas will always reign supreme.



Can't agree with that... Reaver's main goal is killing and defiling. Pirate's main goal is money.

It's the goals that define who you are. So pirates will want money, more money, and the stuff that can be bought with money (this includes, in Mal's case, freedom). Ninjas want to serve their masters; no other purpose.

Now, masters can die. So when the ninja's master dies, he becomes useless. Money can't die; folks will always be making money, and wanting more of it, so the pirates purpose is never gone.

Ninja might win the battle, but pirates will still be there after the war. KF



~KF

Lord, I'm walking your way. Let me in, for my feet are sore, my clothes are ragged.
Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all.
Forgive what you can and send me on my path. I will walk on until you bid me rest.

~Haven Prayer

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 6:59 AM

CYBERSNARK


Quote:

Originally posted by Kizyr:
Now, masters can die. So when the ninja's master dies, he becomes useless.

You're thinking of a samurai. Ninjas are mercenaries. A ninja's master dies, he/she just finds a new master. Or they go rogue; ninjas don't have a problem being ronin.

As for pirates versus ninja:

Pirates are on a boat. Ninjas dive underwater and bore holes in said boat. Boat sinks. Ninjas win.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 7:24 AM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


NO!!!! The Reavers are Sci-fi Indians...remember Serenity/Firefly is based on the wild west.

Pirates have guns-Pirates shot ninja's Ninjas die

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 7:30 AM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


No the Psychic balerina would win, she'll know what the slayer will do before she does and she can just kill her while she's making one of those stupid speeches!!!

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 7:43 AM

PDCHARLES

What happened? He see your face?


Arrrgggghhhh!!!!! Pirates


The last of dem ninjas took a bite off'n me rum... he be running on me cutlass...

Harr harr harrr! I know me sins!

www.ecupirates.com
________________________________________________
U gonna be smart here Riva?!?

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 8:17 AM

PARKER6097


The real question is, astronauts or cavemen? :)

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 8:30 AM

THEPISTONENGINE


Quote:

Originally posted by parker6097:
The real question is, astronauts or cavemen? :)



Pirates

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 8:38 AM

COSMICFUGITIVE


*Tongue firmly placed in cheek*

No, no, no. This is all a smokescreen for the real question:

Is there a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful?

She must be the real threat on board Serenity. I mean, she got Simon in the end after all.. How did she do that against all the odds?!

....

Seriously though, This is a tricky question to answer. They are both strong in their beliefs, and:

Quote:

ScorpionRegent wrote:

Interesting question. It seems to me that neither is prone to fight fair.



They do both fight dirty. Although, Mal's war injury helped out in the end. I guess I'd have to go with Pirates. Also, with Mal, while living a clandestine lifestyle, he was looking out for his own. He wanted to ensure the truth was delivered. The Operative was plain evil.

[img] [/img]

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 8:54 AM

THEPISTONENGINE


Quote:

Originally posted by CosmicFugitive:


Is there a power in the 'verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful?

[img] [/img]



Pirates

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 9:06 AM

13


Lets make this interesting...a four-for-all, pirate (no candy-ass Orlando Blooms) vs ninja vs vampire with a soul vs Simon with twenty kgs of painkillers. Send results of the fights winners and descriptions of this epic battle to: she18@clearview.ab.ca

Personally, I think Angel would win.

I think a little chaos is in order.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 9:12 AM

THEPISTONENGINE


Can we have a souless vampire? And pirates still win. Anyone else play Pirates of the Barbary Coast?

Quote:

Originally posted by 13:
Lets make this interesting...a four-for-all, pirate (no candy-ass Orlando Blooms) vs ninja vs vampire with a soul vs Simon with twenty kgs of painkillers. Send results of the fights winners and descriptions of this epic battle to: she18@clearview.ab.ca

Personally, I think Angel would win.

I think a little chaos is in order.



_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 9:19 AM

13


NO SOULLESS VAMPIRES!! *cough cough* sorry about that.

Anyway, if any of you own Soul Calibur 3, you would know that two of the occupations you can choose for your created characters are, quote: "pirate" and "ninja." Ninjas use kunai (laymans: two short daggers) and pirates use your basic Chinese sword.

As it turns out, ninjas kick the utter $|-||T out of pirates 3 out of 4 battles, due to superior jumping attacks and faster attacks. Pirates just suck.

I think a little chaos is in order.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 9:58 AM

13


Dammit, just made a Pirate and a Ninja fight each other (played by Jesus and Hitler, yes, THAT Jesus and Hitler) and the pirate owned ninja ass! More on thi contest later, folks.

I think a little chaos is in order.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 6:43 PM

HYDRAGON


Quote:

Originally posted by Hydragon:
The Pirates Vs. Ninjas debate is just a cover-up for the REAL argument.


Vampire Slayers vs. Psychic Ballerinas



Of course, there's also Vampire Slayers Vs. Space Bandits.

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 7:08 PM

THEPISTONENGINE


Or the ULTIMATE battle. Malcolm Reynolds vs. Chuck Norris. Who'd win? The swordsmaster or the master of the roundhouse kick?

Quote:

Originally posted by Hydragon:
Quote:

Originally posted by Hydragon:
The Pirates Vs. Ninjas debate is just a cover-up for the REAL argument.


Vampire Slayers vs. Psychic Ballerinas



Of course, there's also Vampire Slayers Vs. Space Bandits.



_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Sunday, March 5, 2006 7:56 PM

THESOAPBOXER


I've got a big ass cannon and a Physics book that says a large, resounding "Pirates."

Yar.

_____________________________________________
Could you please just make it stranger? Just stranger. Odder. Could be weirder. More bizarre. How about uncanny?
~Joss Whedon

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Monday, March 6, 2006 7:21 PM

HYDRAGON


Quote:

Originally posted by ThePistonEngine:
Or the ULTIMATE battle. Malcolm Reynolds vs. Chuck Norris. Who'd win? The swordsmaster or the master of the roundhouse kick?



Nathan Fillion beats Chuck Norris.

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Monday, March 6, 2006 9:38 PM

SIXSHOOTER


Pfft.
You're all wrong.

Vikings. Yep.

They beat everyone.

They come from the land of the ice and snow.
Of the midnight sun, where the hot springs blow.

All they do is fight; sail around in badarse looking long boats and pillage like it was going out of fashion.
If you even think about crossing them, they axe a window into you, carve '#1 dad' into your forehead and use it as a mug.

Big, bearded dude sipping mead out where your brainpan used to be.
Can ya dig it?

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Monday, March 6, 2006 9:59 PM

AZTECHROME


Totally Ninjas.

Ninjas are freakin' awesome. And by awesome i mean totally sweet.

Ninja's wail on guitars. They chop people's heads off. When they don't do that, they mostly fly.

common knowledge.

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Monday, March 6, 2006 10:42 PM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


Pirates have big ships with Cannons...and Ninjas live in Japan were ships capable of leaving were outlawed

Pirates blow up Ninjas the end

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Monday, March 6, 2006 10:57 PM

ZOOT


When I saw the words "Pirate" and "Ninja" in the same sentence, I naturally assumed you were refering to this:

http://drmcninja.com/index.html

Dr McNinja - well worth a read, despite the good and eponymous doctor having a Scottish name and Irish ancestry - still, can't expect our cousins across the water to get the different parts of the UK in order when we don't even know which states are in the middle ....

***************************************

Okay, I'm lost, I'm angry, and I'm
armed.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 2:20 AM

THEPISTONENGINE


Na Uh! Chuck Norris would so roundhouse kick the shit out of Nathan! Chuck Norris is incapable to destruction, he is a diety.

Quote:

Originally posted by Hydragon:
Quote:

Originally posted by ThePistonEngine:
Or the ULTIMATE battle. Malcolm Reynolds vs. Chuck Norris. Who'd win? The swordsmaster or the master of the roundhouse kick?



Nathan Fillion beats Chuck Norris.



_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 6:56 AM

OTMA


The rule of ninjas is that the power of any given ninja is inversely proportional to the number of ninjas present on the same side. In any movie where there are armies of ninja, they are not very impressive, but a single ninja in a movie is almost godlike. This is why ninjas sometimes go rogue and leave their clans. By going solo, they become much more powerful. Their clan starts hunting them down, but who cares? since they left, they can kick their clan's butt solo. The one exception is if they are old and have a student. Then they get killed to spur the student on to revenge.
In any case, pirates, by contrast, operate in crews. A solo pirate, however (ex; Errol Flynn) can often kick butt on pirate crews. The rule doesn't apply as uniformly as it does to ninjas, but still has some truth to it.
Thus, one ninja always beats many pirates. One pirate always beats many ninjas. Many ninjas vs. many pirates would be a big, messy fight, a toss up. One ninja vs one pirate would be very impressive, and the outcome will depend on who is directing, and which role has the cooler star.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:17 PM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


I never thought about it that way,but you're completely right


...but I'm still gonna have to go with pieates

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:26 PM

THEPISTONENGINE


I don't know if I agree about the pirate bit. I thought pirates were fairly terrible one on one except the captains, who were pretty fabulous. I was fairly sure their strength lie in numbers.

_____________
Carry the Nuttin'

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:30 PM

CITIZEN


Nathan Fillion doesn't sleep, he waits.

Anyway, Ninja Space Monkeys everytime. Anyone who dissagrees with me will feel the wrath of my Monkey Ninja hordes!

Fly my pretties flyyy!!

*THUMP*
*THUMP*
*THUMP*
Right right, Monkey Ninjas, no wings, can't fly, got it.



More insane ramblings by the people who brought you beeeer milkshakes!
You should never give powers to a leader you like that you’d hate to have given to a leader you fear

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Tuesday, March 7, 2006 1:35 PM

FOLLOWMAL


Quote:

Originally posted by otma:
The rule of ninjas is that the power of any given ninja is inversely proportional to the number of ninjas present on the same side. In any movie where there are armies of ninja, they are not very impressive, but a single ninja in a movie is almost godlike. This is why ninjas sometimes go rogue and leave their clans. By going solo, they become much more powerful. Their clan starts hunting them down, but who cares? since they left, they can kick their clan's butt solo. The one exception is if they are old and have a student. Then they get killed to spur the student on to revenge.
In any case, pirates, by contrast, operate in crews. A solo pirate, however (ex; Errol Flynn) can often kick butt on pirate crews. The rule doesn't apply as uniformly as it does to ninjas, but still has some truth to it.
Thus, one ninja always beats many pirates. One pirate always beats many ninjas. Many ninjas vs. many pirates would be a big, messy fight, a toss up. One ninja vs one pirate would be very impressive, and the outcome will depend on who is directing, and which role has the cooler star.



You my friend, literally got a standing ovation from me!

" You hold. Hold til I get back." Mal

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 6:52 AM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


Well Ninjas usually need to sneak around so if one Ninja had to kill abunch of pirates and was caught when alone ninja would be pretty screwed

Swords versus cannons ...not a fair fight

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:34 PM

AZTECHROME


Dude, a good ninja could cut every rigging line, kill the first mate and then escape undetected.

He would then wail on his guitar.
If he failed at his mission he would be forced to commmit hari-kiri by frisbee.

Pirates just don't have that kind of dedication.
I think the inversely proportional relationship between number of ninjas and power is intriguing. I hadn't thought about it, but it's totally right.

Ninjas are totally sweet. Pirates are more 'yarrgh'.
I have to go with sweet, by which i mean totally awesome.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:45 PM

ANNA


Quote:

Originally posted by themantheycalledJames:
Swords versus cannons ...not a fair fight



No, it's not. The ninja would deflect the cannonball with their sword and redirect it so it kills a city of starving baby orphans.


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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 12:49 PM

ALGUS


The Operative isnt a Ninja. Sure he may be a mammal and he MAY flip out and call people and he may even be totally awesome but does he fly in his free time?

Oh wait, he has a spaceship...


Nevermind, the Operative is a Ninja. He's just so awesome that he let Mal think he won. But Im sure he totally flipped out and killed some purplebellies later on.

---
Where's the KABOOM?! There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! *sigh* Delays...delays...

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 1:16 PM

THEMANTHEYCALLEDJAMES


Ninjas are not Jedi they can't redirect ****
plus the Pirates would fire another cannonball at them!

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 1:22 PM

ANNA


Quote:

Originally posted by themantheycalledJames:
Ninjas are not Jedi they can't redirect ****
plus the Pirates would fire another cannonball at them!



I'm afraid I know nothing about Jedis. But Ninjas hit the cannonball at the exact angle to send it flying wherever they want.

If the pirates fire another cannonball and the ninja is, for example, lazily scratching his back with his ninja sword, the ninja will then just command the cannonball to stop, and it will self-destruct in shame.

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Wednesday, March 8, 2006 1:27 PM

COPILOT


Okay as I see it this is how it goes.
Ninja's kick pirate ass unless said pirate happens to be incapable of staying down. Think about it Mal gets hit he gets up Mal gets shot he gets up basically don't matter what you do he's like a zombie you have to detach the head from the body. Other than that Ninjas kick pirate ass hard. Then of course Reavers eat the Ninjas because of superior numbers then the psyic ballarina and the vampire slayer kill every Reaver in the verse. And last but not least Chuck norris lays the smack down on the Alliance for being corrupt. After the smack down has been laid he lends a hand to help fix up Serenity cause he's just that kind of guy he is. Angel show up late and starts hitting on River to make Buffy jelious but River reads his mind and breaks six of his ribs. But Buffy doesn't care cause Jayne's such a hottie and they have sex in Mr. Universes compound untill it falls down and everyone lives happily ever after.


An I carried such a torch

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