Throw the nerd down the well by piratenews

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Throw the nerd down the well

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POSTED BY: PIRATENEWS
UPDATED: Monday, November 21, 2011 14:21
SHORT URL: http://bit.ly/tSCWFA
VIEWED: 4557
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Saturday, November 12, 2011 12:32 AM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

Quote:
You have immediate chemistry with an attractive stranger during the zombie apocalypse. What would you do?

1. Not pursue it because we're all gonna die anyway

2. Immediately pledge a lifelong commitment

3. Have lots of meaningless sex

4. Go on a romantic zombie killing rampage together

http://www.amctv.com/shows/talking-dead

About time somebody starting frakkin those hot British supermodels prancin around shootin zombies and rippin em in half.

http://www.amctv.com/shows/the-walking-dead
http://watchthewalkingdeadonline.blogspot.com

BTW Talking is better than Walking.

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Saturday, November 12, 2011 3:58 AM

BUP

No more running. I aim to misbehave.

I vote for number three. I'm gonna die any minute anyway. Let's die happy.

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Monday, November 14, 2011 8:05 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

2, then immediately and vigorously, 3!

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011 2:36 AM

DREAMTROVE

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
2, then immediately and vigorously, 3!

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

Someone let loose a wild child here.

That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011 4:38 AM

BYTEMITE

Have none of you ever SEEN a zombie movie? Acting on impulses like that is a death ticket, guy or girl.

And if you're a female, if you conceive, the child could end up infected by some sort of ambient ghoul vector, and burst out of your uterus and abdominal wall. And you might think the not having teeth thing would stop them, but no, the jaw muscles of a zombified infant can crush bone, they'll have no problem tearing a few chunks off you.

Them's fun times.

Not to mention, you need that energy for running and survival, you're going to be living on starvation rations from any food you can find. We're talking a very limited calorie reserve here. Plus, you can use all that tension for venting frustration on insane cannibals and the hopes for after can give you a good adrenaline boost. It's like Kaylee deciding she wants to live, right? She doesn't jump Simon right there, she starts SHOOTING REAVERS.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011 4:52 AM

BYTEMITE

But really, if there's a zombie apocalypse, we're pretty much all screwed, especially if there's cross-species contamination, and there usually is. Ghoul mosquitos. Ghoul butterflies acting like mosquitos. Ghoul cows. Ghoulish plants. Ghoul flies and maggots. Ghoul TAPEWORMS. Basically infected Zombie anything-you-might-consider-eating and parasites too.

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011 3:19 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Well if we're all screwed anyway, it will be fine if I get screwed extra. :) Sorry Byte.
Plus if we live, which hopefully we won't, then I'll have a devoted man right there with me and after all the incredible zombie killing hyjinx we've been through together he'll be so in love with me it will all be okay. Did I mention that this hopefully takes place after I get my tubes tied? Because if that hasn't happened yet then I'll have to forgo the vigorous sex, just in case, because reproduction is not on my to do list.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Tuesday, November 15, 2011 10:12 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

DirectTV broadcast a British zombie movie a few weeks ago, Bordello of Blood or something like that (not Tales from the Crypt). A mad scientist was turning hookers into zombies. One of the antiheros of course had to tie a naked zombie hooker down and have sex with it while his mommy watched.

Such is the state of the boob tube these days. Literally.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 3:26 PM

DREAMTROVE

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
Well if we're all screwed anyway, it will be fine if I get screwed extra. :) Sorry Byte.
Plus if we live, which hopefully we won't, then I'll have a devoted man right there with me and after all the incredible zombie killing hyjinx we've been through together he'll be so in love with me it will all be okay. Did I mention that this hopefully takes place after I get my tubes tied? Because if that hasn't happened yet then I'll have to forgo the vigorous sex, just in case, because reproduction is not on my to do list.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

If you're getting it on during the zombie apocalypse, your children can be the progenitors of the new race. Sure they might be blind, but then again, the competition is zombies.

That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 4:44 PM

BYTEMITE

Something I don't understand is why there's never more rape from the zombie side of thing. It'd make zombies scarier and would increase the whole disease transmission symbolism thing.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 8:04 PM

PIRATENEWS

John Lee, conspiracy therapist at Hollywood award-winner History Channel-mocked SNL-spoofed PirateNew.org wooHOO!!!!!!

POLL

You discover the father of the farmer's daughter you are banging has a barn full of zombies. What do you do?

1. Keep it a secret

2. Tell everyone in your group

3. Confront the girl's father

4. Set the barn on fire

4. Bang the daughter while setting the barn on fire

View results:

http://www.amctv.com/shows/talking-dead

Select to view spoiler:

I just finished wtching a rerun of last weeks episode and got to thinking, I personaly believe the Little Girl (sophia) is a WALKER inside the BARN. How sick and twisted would that be? HERSEL like to deal with walkers on his farm, sophia was one and he put her in the barn.... He justdidnt say anything beause he didnt want anyone to know about them...

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Monday, November 21, 2011 2:21 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

First of all DT, I'm not blind I'm visually impaired, I can see some and I've told you that before. Secondly the genetics for that is such that my children wouldn't have the condition unless I married a carrier, they'd each have one good gene and one bad, so when they started mating with their siblings is when things would go wrong. Plus siblings mating is a problem anyways, ew. Thirdly, visual impairment really isn't the worst thing that will happen to children coming from my womb, that's only the beginning.

This isn't funny anymore. It was funny for a while though.

From now on when we play pretends we are assuming that the person I am on the inside is the one in the story, reality messes things up. Next time I won't mention the tubes tying thing, I'll just repopulate the human race with my pretend normal people genes.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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