A.N. This is my first try at a crossover. Hope people like. I like feedback, but I'm easily discouraged. Please go easy on me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh, ‘Nara,” Kaylee gasped. “That’s beautiful!”

“Thank you, Kaylee,” Inara smiled at the younger girl as she felt the necklace laying between her bosom. “It’s an heirloom.”

“What is?” Mal asked as he entered Inara’s shuttle.

“Malcolm, how long will it be until you learn to knock?” Inara snapped at him.

“Oh I estimate some time in the next decade,” Mal smiled unfazed.

Inara rolled her eyes and sat back against her couch. “What do you want?” she asked.

“Well I don’t want to interrupt the story tellin’. Please continue,” Mal smirked. “I can wait.”

Kaylee turned puppy eyes to Inara and she sighed.

“One of my greatest grandmother’s, from Earth-That-Was, she found it. With it lies the story of the two greatest warrior lovers who ever existed. Together they defeated the most terrible of evils. And using this stone, they closed the mouth of hell before the evil was set upon the world. Though sadly they could not escape before the cave in. They sacrificed themselves for the world, but will forever live on through their love.”

“Aww,” Kaylee fawned. “That’s a great story ‘Nara.”

“Yes,” Mal said. “Riveting, dramatic, now why was it I came in here?”

“To annoy me?” Inara asked sweetly.

“No that’s jus’ the bonus. Oh yeah!” he snapped his fingers. “Kaylee, what’s with the engine room? It’s in shambles!”

“I’m doin’ some re-wirin’,” Kaylee replied. “I jus’ got caught up.”

“See?” Mal looked at Inara. “You’re a menace! Keep enthrallin’ my crew!”

“Oh, leave her alone Cap’n!” Kaylee defended.

“You,” he pointed at Kaylee. “Meet me in the mess. You,” he turned to Inara. “Do... what ever it is that you do. But leave my crew alone ‘til they’re off duty.”

Inara rolled her eyes, but held her tongue.

“Don’t gotta’ be so mean Cap,” Kaylee grumbled as she stood from Inara’s couch and left the shuttle.

“Don’t you have some things to do as well?” Inara asked when Mal didn’t follow Kaylee out.

“I do,” he nodded. “Many, many, many captainy things to do.”

“Then why aren’t you doing them?” she asked.

“I am,” he extended his arm to her and she arched a brow. “I’m escortin’ you to the mess hall for Book’s special lunch, for Wash’s birthday.”

“It’s Wash’s birthday?” Inara asked as she took Mal’s arm and stood with him.

“Indeed it is,” Mal nodded as they walked out of the shuttle and out onto the catwalk. “And who would I be if I didn’t bring a date to such a special occasion?”

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, Captain, but Companions have strict rules on dating,” she teased back. “I may have to charge you.”

“If’n you do then I’ll jus’ take it off from your rent,” Mal smiled as he played along.

“I don’t service the crew Captain,” she smiled as they came to the hallway.

Mal stopped and turned to her. “Well if you haven’t gone an’ broke my heart,” he sighed dramatically and she stifled a giggle. “Okay, uncouple.”

She took her arm back and smiled at the game.

“Ladies first,” he bowed for her to go head.

Inara laughed and they made their way into the mess.

“Hurry up!” Wash called from the table. “I want to open presents and eat!”

“That’s a pretty necklace you have, Inara,” Book smiled at her from his seat.

“Um, ‘Nara?” Kaylee called. “Is it s’pose to be glowin’ like that?” she asked.

“What?” she looked down at the charm. “No,” she replied almost fearfully.

“C’mon Inara,” Mal said. “You’re stealin’ Wash’s thunder, stop playin’.”

Inara carefully pulled the necklace off and set on the table and backed away as the light grew brighter. “I’m not playing Mal,” her voice trembled slightly. “It’s never done that before.”

Mal looked at Inara’s scared face and turned back to the crew. “Everyone get away from it,” he ordered. “No one touch it!”

Just then, as the crew scrambled away, light and fire shot up from the necklace and swirled around like a tornado with a roar.

They all watch, stunned to silence as the tornado began to from figures. A man and a woman, locked in a passionate kiss.

The light dissipated and the two pulled back from the kiss. Both wearing skeptical looks, the glanced around their new surroundings and audience.

The man looked back at the woman, and she looked to him.

“...Bugger.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 514 year earlier...

“Go! You’ve beat them back, it’s for me to do the clean up!” Spike told her. “Run!”

Buffy reached out to one of his hands and interlocked their fingers. She gazed up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. “I love you.”

Spike looked to her with a soft smile. “No you don’t,” he said. “But thanks for sayin’ it.”

The cavern shook and pulled them from their retrieve.

Buffy frowned at him. “Yes I do you asshole and I’m not going anywhere,” she told him and stepped up and kissed him.

The world came crashing down around them and the energy from the amulet began to disintegrate them. They vanished in a flash of light as the Hellmouth fell down upon them...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was one hell of a kiss,” Buffy muttered as she looked around.

“I’ll say,” Spike replied. “Where the bloody hell are we?”

“Who do you think they are?” Buffy asked.

“No bloody idea,” he said and then saw Mal. “But ain’t that Caleb?”

Buffy turned to Mal as well. “Looks like him,” she replied.

“Didn’t you cut ‘im in half?” Spike asked.

“I did,” Buffy nodded.

“Then who’d ya’ s’pose he is?”

“Like I would know that,” Buffy told him. “Distant relative maybe?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Um... hi,” Spike gave them a small wave.

“What in the gorram hell was that?” Jayne was the first one out of the stupor.

“They came from the necklace,” Inara said softly.

“Hey!” Spike said and picked up the amulet from the table. “That’s mine!”

“You hated it,” Buffy said. “I thought you said it made you look like Elizabeth Taylor?”

“Didn’t say I liked it, said it was mine,” Spike replied and stuffed it in his pocket.

Not taking any chances, Zoe shook herself and drew her gun. “Who are you?”

“Are you two... angels?” Kaylee asked.

“Don’t think so,” Buffy replied. “Who are you and how’d we get here?”

“We were hopin’ you could tell us,” Mal replied.

“Is your name Caleb?” Spike asked.

Mal arched a brow and shook his head. “Name’s Malcolm Reynolds. You’re on my ship, I’m the Captain.”

“Do you have a brother named Caleb?” he asked.

“No,” Mal said.

“You came from the amulet?” Inara said. “The legend’s true?”

“You think these are the great warrior lovers?” Kaylee asked.

“Yeah okay. My name’s Buffy,” Buffy told them. “Where are we?”

“Did you say we’re on a boat?” Spike asked.

“Yeah, a firefly,” Mal told him.

“You named your little sailboat Firefly?” he asked and Mal frowned.

“No, her name’s Serenity,” he replied.

“Oh,” Spike said. “Nice name.”

“And we’re not on water,” Mal said. “We’re in space.”

“We’re on a spaceship!?!” Buffy asked. “What year is this?”

“It’s the year 2517 AD,” Book told them.

“Holy shit!” Buffy exclaimed. “Spike, we’re five hundred years in the future and we’re on a spaceship!”

“Thank you, luv,” he replied and looked at Zoe. “Mind pointin’ that someplace else?”

“Sir?” Zoe glanced at Mal.

“Put it down,” he told her.

She hesitated, but lowered her gun. “What now?” she asked.

“I think we start with introductions,” Mal replied.

“That might be a good idea,” Spike agreed. “You guys can start.”

“My name,” Inara spoke up. “Is Inara Serra.”

“Zoe.”

“I’m... still trying to grasped what’s going on here... I’m also Wash. It’s my birthday.”

“Call me Shepherd Book.”

“Jayne.”

“I’m Kaylee.”

“Simon... and this is my sister, River.”

“Buffy Summers,” she waved.

“Call me Spike.”

...

“Okay, what now?” Spike asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well Slayer, we’re definitely not in Kansas anymore,” Spike said as he and Buffy looked out the window of the bridge.

“It’s so pretty,” Buffy said as she leaned against him.

“You’ve never seen the stars?” asked Wash from the cockpit.

“No, I have,” Buffy replied. “Just not like this.”

“That’s because back home there’s too many bloody false lights around to see them properly,” Spike told her. “Now back when I was alive, you could see the entire night sky untainted.”

At the mention of his former life, Buffy began to notice a gentle beating against her palm.

“Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“Hold your breath.”

“What?”

“Just do it,” she told him.

Spike frowned, but did as she asked.

Before long, he felt his lungs start to burn inside of him and let it out, giving Buffy a wide eyed look. “I’m...”

“You’re alive,” she whispered.

“How ‘bout that?” he said shocked.

“Think it had something to do with the amulet?” she asked.

“Must have...”

“You’re not normally alive?” Wash asked.

“No, I’m dea-,” Spike stopped himself. “I thought that poundin’ was the ship or somethin’.”

“You mean you still have your senses?” asked Buffy.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I can hear the Captain comin’ to us. He’s talkin’ with that Inara bird.”

“What about your strength?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Don’t feel any different. ‘Cept for the beatin’ heart of course. What ‘bout you?”

“I don’t feel any weaker,” she replied.

“Your not bleeding anymore,” he informed her and let his hand graze her stomach wear she had been stabbed in the fight.

“What?” she asked and then remembered the battle. “Oh...”

“We have a theory,” Mal said as he and Inara entered the bridge.

“Hit me,” Buffy said. “We’re open to suggestions.”

“Well my necklace,” Inara motioned to Spike.

“My amulet!” he protested and Buffy elbowed him.

“Please continue,” she smiled.

“Right, my- the amulet was a family heirloom,” Inara told them. “It’s call the Pendant of Necronocturnum, named after my really great grandmother.”

“Huh?” Buffy scrunched up her brow. “Necro-tion-tai-wa?”

“It Latin, luv,” Spike told her.

“What’s it mean?”

“It means Dying Night,” he said.

“You’re great-grandma was named Dying Night?” Mal asked.

“It’s a dead language, I didn’t know.” Inara shrugged.

“I don’t understand how that can help us,” Buffy said.

“If Dying Night don’t work for you, then how’s Rising Sun?” Spike asked.

“I’m still not gettin’ it.”

Spike looked over to Mal and Inara and smiled. “Forgive her, she blonde.”

“Hey!”

“Dawn!” Spike told her.

“What about her?”

“Are you bloody daft? It’s your sister’s! The Pendant of Dying Night? The Rising Sun? The Amulet of Dawn! She must have found it after the Hellmouth!”

“... Oh... I get it. Sorry,” she mumbled.

“’Bout bloody time!” Spike sighed.

“Wait so that makes...” she trailed off looking at Inara.

“I’m guessing, she’s your very great-grandniece,” Spike told her. “She’s family, that’s probably why we’re here.”

“Dawn had children,” Buffy said a bit in awe.

“She kinda’ looks like Dawn, now that we’ve brought it up,” Spike looked Inara up and down. “Not her eyes though. She had great blue eyes.”

“Like yours,” Buffy agreed. “It’s funny, no one in our family ever had blue eyes.”

“Well it’s not like she was conceived naturally,” he said.

“Why would they make her look like you, instead of my parents?” Buffy asked.

“Um?” Inara cut in. “The story of the Pendant always said it was her parents that closed the mouth of hell. Never said anything about a sister.”

“Hey would you look at that,” Spike grinned. “I’m in a story! A legend! And I’m not the bad guy this time!”

“Must have been a typo,” Buffy teased.

“Hey!” Spike protested. “I worked long and hard to be good and an attitude like that stems any advancements.”

Buffy snorted. “Yeah, long and hard.”

“I went to the ends of the earth to my soul for you, didn’t I?”

Buffy was shocked to see that Spike was actually getting upset over this and softened. “Yeah,” she said softly and moved closer. “You did...”

Mal cleared his throat before she kissed him. “I think Inara was sayin’ that you’re not her Aunt.”

“You sure know how to spoil the moment, mate,” Spike grumbled and backed away from Buffy.

“So you think I’m your grandmother?” Buffy asked. “Dawn was my sister, not my daughter.”

“... Luv, that’s not exactly true,” Spike said.

“What?” she turned back to him and asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So we’re gettin’ off with her?” Spike asked.

“For the eighth time, yes Spike we are!” Buffy replied exacerbated.

“Just making sure I know what’s goin’ on!” he protested. “... What’s this place called again?”

“New Melbourne,” Inara told him again, though with more patients then Buffy was exuding.

“And what’s on New Melbourne?” he asked.

“The Companion Training House,” she replied.

“Right,” Spike nodded. “... What’s that?”

“A companion?” Buffy questioned.

“I’m gonna’ let her explain that to you,” Mal said and backed out of Inara’s shuttle. “Dinner’s in an hour.”

“What’s up with Caleb’s clone?” Spike asked.

“He doesn’t uh, approve of my job,” Inara told him.

“What do ya’ do?” Buffy asked.

“I’m a Companion.”

“And that is...?”

“Are you an escort?” Spike asked.

“Something like that,” Inara said and shifted in her seat. “And thank you for using he gentle term. Mal would usually just strait out call me whore.”

“You’re a hooker?” Buffy asked shocked.

“Companions are treated with the greatest of respect,” Inara told them. “We’re not common whore’s you would find planet side on the rim. We’re more than that.”

“They legalized prostitution?” Buffy asked.

“It’s legal in Nevada, luv,” Spike told her. “Or... it was.”

“Really?” she asked. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah,” he replied. “Gotta’ get tested first though. Like every year or somethin’.”

“Well I bet guys really love that,” she snickered.

“’It’s not just for men, luv,” he told her.

“That’s true,” Inara agreed. “Many women seek Companionship as well.”

“And you...” Buffy struggled. “...Give them company? Anyone?”

“We have a very strict selection system. A Companion chooses her own clients,” Inara told her.

“So do you have a pimp?” Buffy asked.

“Buffy!” Spike scolded.

“Sorry!” she blushed fiercely.

“Um... I’m not sure exactly what that is,” Inara told her.

As Buffy opened her mouth to answer, Spike cut her off. “Please don’t. I have blood flow now and I don’t wish to blush.”

“Right...”

Spike turned back to Inara and smiled. “So, why are we going there again?”

“Well Nectronocturom-”

“Can you call her grandma Dawn or something?” Spike stopped her. “It’s just a little weird.”

“Right. Well she kept many journals and I think maybe you could find what happened back from your time,” Inara told them.

“What do they say?” Buffy asked. “Have you read them?”

“I’ve seen them yes, but they’re written in a dead language.”

“Yeah, that’ll help,” Buffy said sarcastically and then turned to Spike. “Do you think they Giles’ in this time?”

“I’ll take a look at it, Maybe I can translate some of it,” he told her.

“You?” she asked skeptically. “Maybe we could find someone who knows what they’re doing?”

“I studied languages at Cambridge when I was alive thank you very much,” he said put off.

“You did?” she asked. “Why didn’t I know that?”

“You never asked,” he replied. “Dawn knew.”

Before she let her maybe grandparents’ fall into another one of their little arguments, like they had been since they’d arrived, Inara started again. “I had them transferred with the rest of my things from Sihnon when I decided to leave. So they should be there by now... Seeing as I decided to leave almost a month and a half ago,” she finished under her breath.

“The Captain been drawin’ things out for a while eh?” Spike asked and she couldn’t hide her surprise that he’d heard her.

“What?” Buffy asked confused.

“I may have been a bit reluctant to leave myself,” Inara said softly.

“I’m lost,” Buffy raised her hand slightly.

“Do you love him?” Spike asked.

Inara nodded quickly, but didn’t answer.

“I understand,” he told her. “I’m sorry.”

Inara looked away and Buffy leaned over to Spike. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell ya’ later,” he whispered back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“My first meal as a human again and I have to eat mush,” Spike grumbled as he poked at the mushed protein. “Great.”

“Stop fussing,” Buffy scolded and tried a bite of her own food.

Spike snickered when she made a funny face at the taste.

“What do ya’ mean, ‘first meal as a human again’?” asked Jayne.

“I spent 123 years as a vampire,” he stated simply.

“I don’t believe I’m common with the term,” Book said.

“No term, noun,” Spike replied. “Vampire. A demon. Are you familiar with that one priest?”

“Yes I am,” he nodded. “You were a demon?”

“I was. For 123 years,” he repeated. “I was immortal you see. I was evil and I lived off the blood of others.”

“You drank blood?” Simon asked grimacing.

“Only way to stay alive... Well un-dead,” he replied.

“And... Were you a demon too?” Kaylee asked Buffy.

“Oh no!” Buffy said. “I’m a Slayer.”

Blank stares.

“One girl in all the world, chosen to kill demons and save the world,” Buffy shrugged and tried another bite of her meal.

“Save the world?” Mal repeated.

“She tends to do that a lot, yeah,” Spike told him.

“So if Buffy was s’pose to kill all the demons, how come not you?” Zoe asked. “Were you a good demon?”

Buffy stayed quiet and decided to let Spike tell this part. She didn’t want to say the wrong thing and have the crew try and kill him in his sleep.

“Quite the contrary actually,” Spike told them. “I was one of the worst. Rivaling only my grandsire for that title.”

“So what changed?” asked Kaylee. “I mean... you did change right?” she finished nervously.

“I met this one girl and she kicked my ass,” Spike replied and Buffy smirked. “Became my mortal enemy.”

“But we grew,” Buffy added. “Mortal enemy became reluctant ally. Then annoying ally.”

“And then Dawn showed up and I helped out without the pay,” Spike continued. “And then I fell in love with her, much to her despair.”

“Yeah, I was a bit reluctant to love a Vampire again,” Buffy said. “An evil one, who tried to kill me more times than I could count.”

“Don’t let her fool ya’,” Spike smirked. “She loved our fights as much as I did.”

Buffy blushed, but shrugged in agreement. “It’s a Slayer thing.”

“So how come you never killed him?” asked Jayne.

“He’s my equal,” she shrugged again. “I tried, don’t get me wrong. We both tried a lot, but we never got there.”

“And then she died and I stayed to keep a promise to keep Dawn safe,” Spike said.

“Wait,” Inara said and looked at Buffy. “You died?”

Buffy nodded. “Twice. The first time wasn’t that bad, but the second...”

“How do you die twice?” asked Wash. “How do you come from the first time?”

“Well the first time I drowned and a friend of mine did CPR,” Buffy said. “But the second time we friends did a spell to bring me back.”

“A spell?” Book repeated.

“You know, magic,” Buffy replied.

“Magic?” light danced in Kaylee’s eyes. “Real magic?”

“Yeah,” Spike smiled. “Real magic.”

“Did you help?” Inara asked Spike.

“No,” he shook his head. “Troublesome bloody stuff. Always bloody consequences.”

“He didn’t even know what was happening,” Buffy told them. “If he did he would have stopped it.”

“I would’ve tried,” Spike agreed.

“Because you were an evil demon and hated her?” Wash asked.

“No, because he knew I was at peace,” Buffy corrected. “My friends though I was in a hell dimension and they wanted to save me.”

“Why would they think that?” Simon asked this time.

“Because she jumped in to a field of energy to close a portal to one,” Spike said. “Some hell god bitch was trying to use Dawn’s blood to get home and was gonna’ bleed her dry to open it. But Buffy got her away and closed it herself... Worst summer of my life.”

“How long were you gone?” Inara asked just as enwrapped as the whole crew was with the story.

“147 days,” she shot a look over to Spike.

“But you weren’t in Hell?” Simon asked.

“Don’t be a git,” Spike told him. “She’s a bloody hero. Died savin’ the world. You really think some like that wouldn’t go to heaven?”

“Spike, be nice, he doesn’t know,” Buffy scolded gently.

“You were in heaven?” Book asked quietly.

“I think I was,” she relied. “I didn’t see god if that’s what you want to know. I don’t know if there is one. But I was at peace...”

“Then her so called friends tore out of it,” Spike added bitterly.

“You’re never gonna’ stop bagging on them about that are you?” Buffy asked.

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Never.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and finished her food.

“What happened next?” Kaylee asked.

“I sort of cut myself off from my friends after that,” Buffy continued. “The only person I could really talk to was Spike, ‘cuz, hello, he’d been dead for the last century. He didn’t force me to be perfect all the time. He could relate to what I was feeling. My friends all wanted me to be happy I was back, but I was really depressed.”

“So you started gettin’ closer?” Mal asked.

“Yeah,” Spike replied. “But it was real hard for me to be so close and not have her. Then this one day this demon named Sweet showed up. He made the whole town burst in to song at random times. Everywhere you went, someone was singing and dancin’ about. Bloody funny at first.”

“I didn’t think it was that funny,” Buffy said.

“That’s because he made you sing all the things we didn’t want people to know,” Spike continued. “I really wanted to be strong and not ask anything from her, but the demon made me sing that if she didn’t... you know... want anything with me, than I couldn’t be around anymore. It was just to bloody hard.”

“He told me to let him ‘Rest in Peace’,” Buffy remembered. “He’s got a surprisingly good voice despite all the smoking.”

“But before the night was over,” Spike said. “We ended up kissing all gone with the wind like and thus started the sneaky and un-healthily portion of our relationship.”

“Sex any good?” asked Jayne.

“She’s a super strong Slayer and I have over a hundred years of experience,” Spike looked at him seriously. “You couldn’t bloody imagine.”

“Wow,” Kaylee fanned herself. “Was it really that good?” she asked Buffy.

Buffy was bright red. “Oh yeah,” she nodded. “Can’t imagine.”

Spike leaned back in his chair with a huge smug grin on his face.

“But then my Ex came back and made me feel all guilty about it,” Buffy continued. “I broke it off.”

“You must have been crushed,” Inara asked Spike, who’s smile had dropped.

“Yeah, you could say that,” he replied. “I did some real stupid things after that... Things I couldn’t take back, so I left. I’ll tell ya’, it’s bloody strange that a soulless demon feels guilt for anything.”

“But you came back right?” asked Kaylee. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “He came back. He felt so bad about what he did that he went to the ends of the earth to get his soul. So he could give what I deserved. Fought in these terrible trials that almost killed him and won back his soul from beyond.”

“That’s so romantic,” Kaylee fawned.

“Only problem was,” Spike began. “That with the soul... I could feel the pain of what I’d been for the last hundred years. All the lives I’d taken. Guilt like that will drive anyone crazy.”

“Yeah, he came back and he was out of his mind,” Buffy said. “Completely bonkers. Talking to people who only he could see-”

“Thank you, luv, I think they’ve got it,” Spike cut her off.

“There’s no need to ashamed that you were as crazy as your last girlfriend, sweetie,” she teased.

“What Harmony?” he asked.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “No not- Harmony was just fucking stupid and you know I was talking about Drusila.”

“Yeah, Dru was bug shaggin’ crazy no argument there,” Spike replied and then turned to the crew. “It’s what made interesting. You live with some one for a hundred years and not mix things up a bit.”

“Right,” Buffy snorted. “Mix things up. Kinky.”

“I seem to remember you havin’ a right kink to you,” Spike smirked.

“There they go again,” Inara said to Mal as Buffy and Spike were lost in they’re on world.

“They been doin’ that a lot?” Mal asked amused.

“At least five times after you left my shuttle,” she smiled. “I managed to stop them once, but no luck since.”

Mal chuckled and look over at the oldest people he’d ever met. They were starting to move closer to each other. “They do have a way ‘bout them, don’t they?”

Inara looked over as well and her maybe grandparents kissed. “Yes they certainly do.”

“So how does it feel to meet the patriarchs of your family?” he asked.

“A little odd,” Inara replied. “From what I can gather, it seems that grandma Dawn wasn’t actually born.”

“Huh?”

“An order of Monks created her from their DNA and forged fake memories to make it seem like she’d been there all along as Buffy’s sister,” she told him. “She was really a mystical key. You know that story about the portal?”

Mal nodded with a strange look on his face.

“The hell god that was trying to get home? Well she was after the Key. The monks protected the Key so they sent her to the Slayer and Spike for protection.”

Mal blinked.

“...You have a strange family.”

“Hey!” Spike cheered, making everyone at the table, but Buffy, jump. He pulled something from his pocket and held it up triumphantly. “Look what survived the fight!”

Buffy looked her eyes and grinned at his antics as he held up his pack of cigarettes. “Oh great.”

“I haven’t had a fag in five-hundred years,” he said and found his lighter too. “Yes!” he cheered again and lit a cigarette.

“A what?” Jayne asked.

“That’s British for cigarette,” Buffy said and waved the smoke away from her.

“Oh,” Jayne nodded, looking a bit more comfortable.

“Think Andrew would take a likin’ to the big man here, luv?” Spike asked and Buffy snorted.

“That’s mean,” Buffy said giggling. “But I’m sure even five-hundred years into the future, he would still be stuck on you.”

He shot her a small glare, but before he could retort, the ship’s proximity alarm went off.

“What’s that?” Buffy asked nervously.

“It’s alright, luv,” Spike put his hand on hers. “Captain?”

Mal, Wash and Zoe were already out of their chairs and headed to the bridge.

“That’s the proximity alarm,” Kaylee told them. “It means there’s something outside.”

“Another spaceship?” Spike asked.

“A ship, some trash, maybe a wreak,” she nodded.

“Should we be worried?” Buffy asked a little panicky.

“Oh, no!” Kaylee said. “It’s probab-”

The alarm shut off suddenly and Mal’s voice came over the P.A.

“Kaylee, get to the engine room. Jayne get up here. Inara take the rest to your shuttle and wait for me to call... We got Reavers.”

Inara gasped and Kaylee’s eyes grew wide. Jayne and Shepherd Book stood quickly, Book began trying to usher them out as Jayne ran for the bridge.

“Reaver? What’s that mean?” Buffy asked panicking more. “Are we gonna’ blow up? Is it aliens?”

Spike rubbed his hands down her arms trying to calm her. “It’s alright luv, shh.”

“Is she okay?” Inara asked.

“She’s scared of flying’,” Spike replied. “It’s gonna’ be alright, pet, just try to calm down. Take some deep breaths.”

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Here, I’ll take her to my shuttle,” Inara offered and put her arm around Buffy.

“Thanks, luv,” he nodded to her. “Now, luv, your grand-daughter’s gonna’ take you to the shuttle. I’m gonna’ find out what’s goin’ on okay?”

Buffy nodded and let Inara walk her out of the mess hall.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the bloody hell is going on?” Spike demanded as he walked onto the bridge.

“Hey, you can’t be up here,” Jayne tried to move him out but Spike easily overpowered him back into the locker to the side.

“We’re in trouble,” Mal told him.

“Yeah I got that,” Spike nodded. “How bad?”

“Bad,” that was Wash at the cockpit. “Mal they can get us with those,” he pointed out the window.

“Magnetic grapplers?” Zoe asked.

“Yeah,” her husband nodded. “They’re comin’ fast. I’m not sure we can out run them.”

“Even at full burn?” asked Mal.

“They could just do the same thing and be on us in seconds,” Wash shook his head. “We’re humped.”

“That’s colorful,” Spike sneered.

Mal ignored him and hit the P.A. “Kaylee, get to Inara’s shuttle. Inara once Kaylee and Spike get on, take off. We’re gonna’ try an’ draw them away from you.”

“What happens when they get us?” Spike asked.

“They’ll rape us to death and eat us and wear us as clothes,” Zoe told him.

Spike frowned and then shrugged. “I knew a bloke like that once.”

“Get to the shuttle,” Mal told him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on!” Kaylee urged. “We gotta’ go.”

“I’m not,” Spike replied. “Buffy!” he called into the shuttle.

“They say we have to go,” she told him.

“Yeah I know,” he replied and reached out for her. “... I’m gonna’ stay.”

Buffy stayed quiet for a minute and then nodded. “Okay.”

And as he thought, she moved out of the shuttle with him and called back in. “Get out of here!”

“What? No!” Kaylee cried.

“Inara, get them out of here, luv,” Spike told her.

“But-?”

“Go!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “You two should have left with the rest of them,” Mal growled as they made their way to the cargo bay to plan their defense.

“We’re not ones to run away from a fight,” Spike replied.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed. “This is your home right? You guys are helping us out, we can’t not return the favor.”

“We don’t need no favors,” Jayne grunted. “We need a miracle.”

“I’m a demon who saved the world and became human and she’s came back from the dead twice, I think we can pull something off,” Spike arched a brow.

The ship suddenly jarred and a few seconds later, Wash’s voice came over the P.A.

“They got us,” he sound terrified.

“Come on Spike,” Buffy said and he followed her down the stairs to the bay. “Now you’re sure this is the only way in?” she turned to Mal.

“There’s an air lock next to the aft hall, but this is where they’ll come,” he pointed to the bay doors.

Zoe passed them and opened the gun locker at the side of the bay. “You’ll need these.”

“No thank you,” Buffy said quickly.

“She doesn’t like guns,” Spike told them and took two of the guns Zoe handed him. “Somethin’ she’ll have to get over right quick, too,” he handed one of them to her.

Buffy sighed and took the gun.

“Now all you have to do is cock it,” Spike told her. “I took the safety off. Just aim and fire.”

She pumped the shotgun and nodded. “I got it... Just... reminds me of Tara.”

“Yeah, I know,” he replied softly and pumped his own gun.

“Spread out,” Mal said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They’re gonna’ cut right through, sir,” Zoe said.

“I know,” Mal replied from his covered spot behind some crates. “Jayne, hit the doors. Let them in.”

“No gorram way!” Jayne exclaimed. “I’m not-”

“Big baby!” Buffy stepped forward and stopped at the controls. “Which one is it?”

“Top one to the left!” Zoe called.

“Okay,” Buffy drawled and smacked the button and ran back over to where she and Spike were hiding behind as the doors began to open.

“Here we go,” Spike said as she crouched next to him.

“Finally something familiar,” she said and then looked down at her gun. “Well... almost.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The bullets ran out quickly. At least, Spike’s did.

“I’m out!” he shouted and chucked the gun at a Reaver knocking it off it’s feet. “Well that worked.”

“I’m really not good at this!” Buffy shouted over the gunfire.

He watched as she hit one in the leg and then missed entirely.

“Oh, fuck this!” he shouted and stood and threw himself into the Reavers.

“Oh much better,” Buffy said to herself and jumped in after him.

“Inara’s parents are fuckin’ insane!” Jayne called.

Zoe looked over to Mal and gave him a look that said the same thing. He just shrugged and kept firing into the Reavers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was more like it.

Nothing but fists and fangs... Well he didn’t think he had fangs anymore, but it was fun all the same.

He’d missed the feeling of an adrenaline rush. He’d been dead for the last five hundred odd years. No blood flow. No adrenaline.

He felt stronger than he ever had. Faster.

He was laying waste to these things.

They were relatively easy to kill despite the fear that everyone seemed to emit. They died as easily as a man would.

He looked over to his girl.

She was as fierce as ever. She’d stolen a blade from one of them. She was cutting them down left and right. God, the sex after this was going to be great!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mal, Zoe and Jayne had run out of ammo a while back. Long before the fight was over.

Though it didn’t seem to really matter. Buffy and Spike were tearing the Reavers apart.

If seeing them fly out in a flaming cyclone coming from an ancient amulet wasn’t enough to believe that they were the legendary warriors from Inara’s family myth, then this definitely clenched it.

They really couldn’t find words or even utter a grunt when it was all said and done. The cargo bay littered with the bodies of the most horrifying creatures in the ‘verse, two awesome warriors standing among them panting ever so slightly. As if to say, “Is that all you’ve got?”

Nope.

Not a word...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was hot. Her body burning and tingling. Her face was flush. Her muscles worked up.

She looked over to Spike and he was staring at her with a familiar glint in his eye. Like a predator ready to pounce on it’s prey.

And now that she thought about it, she wasn’t going to put up much of a fight if he was after what she knew he was.

He arched his brow just slightly, but innuendo spoke volumes. She nodded a tiny bit and a smirk grew across his face.

Trying to swallow down the lusty feelings for a moment, she turned back to the others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Is everyone okay?” was the first thing to leave Inara’s mouth after the shuttle doors opened. The next thing was a gasp.

She looked down from the catwalk and found all of the Reaver corpses scattered across the floor. There were mounds!

“Wo de ma,” she whispered in horrified awe.

“Yeah, we’re fine,” came Mal’s reply. “We uh... They killed them all.”

“Oh lord!” Book gasped as he exited the shuttle. “What happened?”

“Buffy and Spike the Vampire Slayers,” River said, coming out behind the Shepherd. “The mighty power of William and Elizabeth the Bloody.”

“They did this themselves?” Book asked.

“No guns,” Jayne told him. “Spike just jumped right into them and Buffy was right behind him.”

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” Zoe shook her head. “Wash fainted.”

“Is he alright?” came Simon’s question as he and Kaylee came out last.

“Threw some water on him,” Jayne said. “Woke him right up.”

“Oh my god!” Kaylee screamed and hid her face in Simon’s chest when she saw the carnage.

“Where are they?” Inara asked Mal.

“They’re uh... busy in the passenger dorms,” he struggled out.

Inara frowned and then realization hit her. “Oh...! Oh...”

“That girl was all matter a’hot,” Jayne whistled. “Practically drug him out of there.”

“And that was an hour ago,” Wash said, his face still damp.

“Not that I’m uptight about sex or anything, but could you refrain from talking about my great-grandparents that way?” Inara asked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late into the night when they saw the pair again. They entered the mess hall wrapped in each other’s arms and sat down in the common room together.

The crew all had impressed looks on their faces. And not because of the fight.

Even Simon, while blushing profusely looked like he was impressed.

Jayne looked about ready to idolize Spike.

And Inara, while trying not to remember that they were her great-grandparents looked extremely impressed, even in her profession.

“And six hours later they make an appearance,” Wash said cheekily. “Nice of you to join us.”

But, as it turned out, Buffy and Spike had no shame. At least not on this topic and they both shrugged, looking very satisfied.

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked tiredly.

“Sorry to interrupt the marathon,” Mal began. “But we needed to clear the cargo bay. We’re lockin’ down and openin’ up the air lock.”

“And we had to get up... why?” she asked.

“Because we would have been sucked into the vacuum of space, pet,” Spike told her, looking just as tired.

“Oh,” she mumbled and shifted in his lap, leaning against his chest and closing her eyes. “Tha’s bad...”

“At least you would have died very happy people,” Wash quipped.

“You can say that again,” Spike mumbled and stretched one of his arms and laid it around Buffy’s sleeping shoulders.

“Well seeing as you were just reborn not a day ago, we thought we’d let you enjoy your second chance a little longer,” Mal said and headed for the bridge to open the airlocks.

“Tha’s nice,” came his half asleep reply and he laid his head against the girl in his arms.

The crew gave one another amused looks when they both were asleep in less than a second. Laying there on the small couch huddled into each other.

“They’re sweet,” Kaylee said.

“At least they’re not arguing,” Inara replied.

“Oh that’s just where they get the fire,” Kaylee said. “You can see the sparks flyin’ off both of them.”

“Not the only pair,” River said from behind the group surrounding the eldest couple, her eyes fixed on the back of Inara’s head.

Inara cleared her throat and stepped away from the table as Mal came back in.

“That should do it,” he said almost cheerfully. “Now, I’m tired and I want to go to sleep. I suggest y’all do the same.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Look Doc, I ain’t some guinea pig you can be dissectin’ and pokin’ ‘round tryin’ to see how I work. I don’t stand for people cuttin’ into my head and puttin’ chips in you hear?”

“... I just asked if you let me do a physical!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m so glad my children were beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

“So what’s that button do?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Were you around to see any dinosaurs?”

“Uhhh... I’m not sure if I should be offended by that or not. I’m only 667! Bloody dinosaurs were in the prehistoric era! As in before history!”

“... Sorry...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So their hand’s on your shoulder. You reach up grab the hand and twist it. Now as you do that, you pivot and step to the side, while bringing the hand down and bam. They’re on they’re back.”

“Thanks.”

“No prob.”

“You ever use that in a fight?”

“Well... no, but it stops annoying high school kids from feeling you up...”

“...”

“Hey, us women are underestimated constantly. Even strong looking ones like you. Can’t just use strength, you have to be able to move. And know how to move. There was this one time when I lost my powers and I was locked in this house where this insane vamp had kidnapped my mom and...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So you go up in there an’ then you curve your fingers up?”

“Right, then you have to feel around a bit. In. Curve. Then you pull back a tiny bit and feel this ridge and there it is.”

“I gotta’ try that next time we’s planet side!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, in all the things I’ve done in my life, the war included, I’ve only been in one sword fight.”

“Yeah? How’d you do?”

“I got stabbed right here.”

“I’ve been stabbed a lot in my work.”

“Yeah?”

“Done a lot of stabbing too.”

“With a piece of wood?”

“You’d be surprised on how effective it is. Not as fancy as cutting someone in half, but it works all the same... Well, not with this one guy. Stabbed him, thought he was dead and then I had to cut him in half.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I was around when automobiles were first being invented.”

“Really?”

“Yeah... We’ve come a long way since havin’ to wined up the engine.”

“Don’t know what I’d do if I had to be in here and wined up Serenity. Especially for full burn.”

“Well, it’s good to know that we’re not spring operated.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You... cut a priest in two?”

“No, he was an evil priest. Very evil. The avatar to the First Evil in fact. He killed girls all over the world to try to stop the Slayer line. So misogynistic. But you don’t have to be scared. I hope he’s the only priest I do that to.”

“Bless you child...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I dated a girl like you once.”

“...”

“She was all kinds of crazy... Yep. For over a hundred years we were together.”

“She’s in the wind.”

“Yeah... I bet she is. Never could really take care of herself. Not surprised if she bit it some time after I last saw her.”

“Place ran dry. Shriveled and died.”

“I know what you mean...”

“...”

“...”

“... Wanna’ go hang from the catwalk and see who can hold on the longest?”

“...”

“...”

“Okay...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Spike, what are you doing?” Buffy laughed at the scene in front of her.

“Would have thought that was obvious, pet,” he replied as he hung up side down, his ankles locked around the railing of the walk.

“It certainly is,” Inara laughed as well. “How did she talk you in to that?”

“It was easy!” River called from next to him.

“You’d be surprised how easy he is,” Buffy teased and Spike shot her a glare. “He may be a few centuries old, but inside he’ll never grow up.”

“I’m bored and I’m out of smokes!” he complained. “We better land soon, ‘cause I’m goin’ bloody crazy trapped in here!”

“Not crazier than me!” River told him.

“That’s probably true, but that’s not the point!” Spike said. “There’s barely any entertainment! The butchered form of basketball. The butchered version of poker. Lifting weights to gain muscle we don’t need and I haven’t had a decent meal in ages. Literally...! Plus! There’s five hundred years of ‘Passions’ that I’ve missed and there’s no bloody television!”

“What do you want me to do about it?” Buffy asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“There’s plenty, but you always were a bit prudish ‘bout fornication in public,” he smirked.

“We just did it less than an hour ago!” she said. “We can rest for a bit maybe?”

Spike groaned and flipped down from the railing, landing on his feet perfectly.

“I win!” River cheered.

“That’s not fair,” Spike told her. “My girl distracted me with sex talk!”

“She did?” that was Jayne who was walking into the bay from behind Buffy and Inara. “With her grand daughter in the room? That don’t seem right. I’d be hootin’ like River if’n my granny been talkin’ ‘bout that particular subject.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Is it just me or did he just pick through the entire Blue Collar Comedy Tour’s dictionary to form that sentence?” Buffy asked and Spike snorted.

“Huh?” was Jayne’s reply and Inara quirked an eyebrow in confusion.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it kids,” Spike said. “It was a bit before your time.”

Buffy took Spike’s hand. “Come on, babe, Inara and I were gonna’ get some lunch.”

Spike looked up at River, who was still hanging up side down from the catwalk and said, “Rematch.”

“Now what in the gorram hell are you doin’ girl?” Jayne asked her before she could reply.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come here, pet, you have to see this.”

“What?” Buffy asked and looked out the window along with him. “Wow...” she breathed.

“You can say that again,” Spike replied and took her hand in his.

New Melbourne. It was one hell of a sight.

It had been three weeks since they had arrived. Three weeks to get to know everyone on board. Three weeks since they were dead to the Universe.

Now they could finally get some answers. Finally know what had happened to Earth after the battle with the First. Hopefully, Spike could read Dawn’s diaries and figure it all out.

Buffy was excited. And a bit nervous. On one hand, she’d get to know who Dawn had married, and the names of her kids. She’d get to know if Inara was in fact her niece or granddaughter. She’d always thought of Dawn as more than her sister. She was always a part of her, not her parents. But on the other, if they could read the journals, then they’d know who didn’t make it out of the Hellmouth that day. How her friends died off one by one. If it was some demon attack, or maybe a sickness or car accident.

Spike was having about the same thoughts. The only real difference was that he was never that close with any of the Scooby’s besides Dawn. And even that. He’d screwed up. What if the diaries read that she hated him for not getting Buffy out before the cave collapsed? He knew that she definitely wrote about her loss of Buffy in her books, she had to of. She did that summer after the second time she’d died. He didn’t think he could go through that all again, even if it was from a young girls writings.

“We’re going to make our approach,” Wash told them. “You better go get strapped in, could be bumpy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy was still shaking a bit when Spike walked with her out of the ship and onto the solid ground.

“That was not fun,” she told him.

“We made it,” he said. “Has to amount to somethin’, right?”

Buffy closed her eyes as she shook again.

“Don’t close your eyes, luv,” he said. “This place is beautiful. Look.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaylee cried.

Simon shifted uncomfortably.

Zoe’s face was underlining sadness below the hard mask.

Jayne tried to look bored.

River stood alone.

Book wished her good luck.

Wash made her grin.

Mal didn’t want her to go... He didn’t say anything though.

And Inara herself was a picture of what she’d been train as. She didn’t let the emotions consume her as she wanted desperately to break down.

Spike didn’t agree with it. Inara had told him about the rules and beliefs of the Companion Guild when he’d asked, he did not like what he’d heard. Maybe it was the built in urge to disobey any and all rules and regulations, but he though it was the fact that very possibly, this girl was his own flesh and blood.

His and Buffy’s. And if not his then he would feel this way just because she was a part of the girl he loved. Like Joyce. Like Dawn. Like the Scooby’s to some extent. But nonetheless, he didn’t enjoy watching this goodbye.

The girl thought she had to leave before she felt like she couldn’t. Because she felt like she couldn’t. Not allowed to become to attached.

That’s just bloody ridiculous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Buffy asked Inara as Serenity flew away.

That was it. The breaking point. The same way her own mother would ask her when she was still alive.

Inara bust into tears, falling into Buffy’s embrace.

“Shh, it’s okay, honey, It’ll be alright,” Buffy told her softly and looked up to Spike.

He had a concerned and sympathetic look and he moved towards them and wrapped them both in his arms.

“It feels like I just lost my whole family,” she sobbed. “And... Mal, oh god!”

“You’ll get the feelin’ back, luv,” Spike said soothingly. “And we may have only just met, but Buffy and I are your family. Might not be much, but we’re here for you.”

And even as he said the words, Spike was already forming a plan to make it right again. First, he’d have to get Inara to come around. And then Mal. He was going to be a tough one to crack, even if he hadn’t inherited his and Buffy’s stubbornness, he was thick in his own right.

They had an open invitation back on Serenity anytime they wanted. Spike didn’t think Buffy would want to go through space again anytime soon, but he could go on his own. Leave Buffy to work on Inara, he could wear Mal down.

“He’s right, baby,” Buffy continued. “Everything will work out in the end. Especially if you got two super powered great-grandparents with you.”

Inara laughed through her tears and nodded. “I’m so glad to have met you. Thank you...”

“There’s nothin’ to thank us for, pet... We’re family, it’s what we do...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I knew we never should have taught her to write,” Buffy muttered as they looked on at the books Dawn had left behind.

“Rupert would envy this many books,” Spike agreed and shook his head.

Thirty-eight diaries in all, Inara had told them. And not just little school journals either, these were big, thick leather bound books.

“They do have dates on them,” Inara said. “They should be arranged in the order in which they were written.”

“Well,” Buffy waved Spike over to the books. “Get started Cambridge boy.”

Spike rolled his eyes and headed for the stacks of books. He picked up one and flipped through it. “We’re in luck,” he said, not looking up from the book. “They’re in Babylonian. I can read it.”

“That’s good news,” Inara smiled. “Right?”

“Yes, yes. Very good news,” Buffy replied. “But how long will this take?”

“Got some pressin’ appointment you have to get to, pet?” Spike asked. “We’ve got all the time in the world. Plus we’re going to have to find some way to support ourselves. Can’t be moochin’ off our youngest forever. We can take our time with these, don’t worry.”

“But-”

“I’m the one who has to read these,” he said pointedly. “And we’re goin’ to take our time. This is a whole new world, luv, we gotta’ see if we got a place in it, before we dig up the past.”

Buffy let out a sigh and nodded. “Okay...”

“So ‘Nara?” Spike turned to his great-granddaughter. “Know of any jobs ‘round this place?”

“Inara?” came a voice from outside the door.

“Sheydra?” Inara opened the door and found her friend.

“Oh Inara!” Sheydra cheered and embraced her. “I’m so happy you’re here!”

“Yes, it’s so good to see you,” Inara replied.

“The students are so excited you’re here,” Sheydra told her as the ended their hug. “The halls are raging with the news that such a accomplished Companion if here to instruct them.”

“Thank you,” Inara bowed her head and then turned to Buffy and Spike. “Sheydra, I’d like you to meet some of my long lost relatives.”

Sheydra’s brows went up as she took in they’re appearance. Spike in all of his black and Buffy in one of Inara’s only black dresses.

“They have come a long way,” Inara tried to cover.

Sheydra waved it off and offered her hand to Spike. “I’m Sheydra Chianchien, Headmistress of our Training House.”

“William,” Spike took her hand gently and looked over to Buffy. “William Coven.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you. And if I may say, you have a magnificent accent Mr. Coven,” Sheydra smiled.

“Thank you,” Spike smiled and put his arm around Buffy. “This is Elizabeth.”

Buffy glanced at him, but played along. She smiled as she shook her hand as well.

“Your wife?” asked Sheydra.

“Yes!” Inara saved them from making something up. “My great- cousin, William and his wife.”

“It’s terrific to meet you both,” Sheydra told them. “I believed that all of Inara’s family except her father had passed on. What brings you here?”

“William is an expert in languages,” Inara said. “He’s here to decrypt our great-grandmother’s journals.”

“Ah, the ancient scripts of Necronocturnum,” she nodded. “Quite the mystery. I love the story of the Warrior Lovers. It has been told for centuries.”

“Yes, I’m quiet familiar with it,” Spike told her.

“That’s why he’s so infatuated with journals,” Buffy added, sounding very proper. “A truly amazing story,” she shot a secret smile to Spike.

Inara hid her smile and approached her friend. “They are very dear to me and I have asked them to stay for a while. Will that be a problem?”

“No, of course not,” Sheydra said. “Your family is more than welcome. Would you two be interested in being models for our girls?”

“Models?” Buffy repeated.

“Perhaps they can get back to you on that?” Inara suggested. “We’ve had a long trip.”

“Yes. Oh how rude of me,” Sheydra scolded herself. “I’ll have your room set up immediately. Do you have any preference?”

“I’m sure anything you-” Buffy tried to say, but Spike cut her off.

“Red, dark blue and gold,” he said. “Hardwood and stone. Something posh, yet... bright.”

Inara and Buffy looked on in surprise and Sheydra smiled. “A man who knows what he wants.”

“And,” Spike continued. “If it’s not to much trouble, perhaps we can arrange a wardrobe? I’m afraid we didn’t have time to pack more than necessities.”

“Of course,” Sheydra nodded. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go arrange that. Good day.”

They smiled and stayed silent as the Companion left the room and shut the door behind her.

“Was that over the top?” Spike asked the girls.

“That was... very astute,” Inara told him. “I wasn’t aware you could do that.”

“You?” Buffy asked. “What about me? How come I didn’t know you could go all ‘Pride and Prejudice’?”

“Well,” Spike shrugged. “We never talked much about my life before I was turned.”

“You always played it off like you were some ruffian,” Buffy told him. “The ‘I’ve always been bad’, line?”

“Ask me some day,” he told her. “Maybe I’ll tell you a story... Now what was that bit on being models?”

“The girls in the house are Companions in training,” Inara told them. “They need someone to practice their techniques on. Models.”

“She wants us to do what?” Buffy asked. “Have sex with people?”

“I believe only some of the girls are ready for that,” Inara said. “Mostly seduction, kissing, oral sex maybe.”

“I’m in,” Spike raised his had. ”Wait. Will this pay for the room and all?”

“You’re considering this?” Buffy asked. “Seriously?”

“Oh come on, luv,” Spike turned to her. “Not like we haven’t done it before. You remember that weekend in Vegas.”

“And you remember the fall out after that, right?” she asked.

“Yeah, but that was hot,” Spike told her. “Can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy showing me who I belonged to. I believe you said that to me actually. But it doesn’t matter. I love you, Buffy. This will just be like a really long weekend in Vegas. I know you had fun.”

“Paris was a great girl, yes, but-”

“Don’t forget, she paid the heating bill that month too,” he reminded her and then sighed. “I’m won’t do it if you won’t. You know that. I’m just tryin’ to find a way to... I don’t know. And that’s the point. We know close to nothin’ about this place and we need a place to stay, and food, clothing. I told you I wouldn’t take it from Inara... It’s your choice, luv.”

“... A long weekend in Vegas?” she asked after a long silence.

“And we get to grade them,” he said.

“I’m sure that Sheydra would accept this as payment for your stay,” Inara told them.

Buffy sighed. “Okay, we’ll do it.”

“Think of it this way,” Spike said. “At least it’s something we’re best at. That is unless they’ve found some new ways of sex that we haven’t tried.”

“I doubt that,” Buffy smirked.

“So do I,” he grinned back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh. My. God.”

“Am I good, or am I good?” came Spike’s smug reply.

“Wow,” Inara breathed as she looked around the room with her great-grandparents. “You have good taste.”

“Oh my god!” Buffy said again and ran and jumped onto the king sized bed. “And to think, all we have to do is let a bunch of young girls mack on us!”

Spike laughed at his lover and joined her on the bed. “I’d say, for people like us, it’s a good trade off.”

“Does this make us prostitutes?” she asked. “Why am I enjoying that thought?”

“Told you she had a kink or two in her,” Spike looked over to Inara.

Inara nodded and smiled. “That’s nothing I need to know, grandpa.”

“Oooh!” Spike winced. “That stung.”

A knock at the door interrupted them. A moment later, Sheydra entered. “How do you like the room?”

“Perfect,” Spike put on his ‘Pride and Prejudice’ and stood from then bed. “Exactly how I wanted it.”

“I’m pleased to hear that,” she smiled at his charm. “Our best girls did it.”

“You’ll have to thank them for us,” Spike told her. “And we have thought on your offer. The modeling. We were wondering if our services would be sufficient payment for our lodgings here?”

Again Sheydra smiled. “I believe that would be an excellent idea.”

“Terrific,” Spike shot Buffy a grin.

“Is the wardrobe to your liking?” asked Sheydra, moving over to the large walk-in-dresser at the side of the room. “We can have anything tailored to your sizes.”

“You have men’s clothing in an all female establishment?” Buffy asked.

“A few girls were sent into town to retrieve some especially,” Sheydra replied and she opened the dresser doors. “You didn’t specify on the clothes, so I took a guess.”

Spike peaked in and found entire shelves and racks full with silks and leathers, all black. He laughed. “I’m sure this will be fine,” he told her. “Where should I go to have them tailored?”

“I can show you when you’re ready,” Inara told him and he nodded and graced Sheydra with another smile, before moving back towards Buffy.

“Could I bother you for one more thing?” Spike asked.

“You’re most definitely not a bother, Mr. Coven,” Sheydra told him and turned to Inara. “I see the charm runs in the family.”

“I believe it originated with our great-grandfather,” Inara said. “He turned his greatest enemy into his greatest love, that has to count for something.”

“He must have been a very interesting men,” Sheydra agreed and turned back to Spike. “Now what was this last botherless request?”

Spike’s stomach answered before he could. Grinning sheepishly, he looked up with a hint of blush in his cheeks. “Have you any food?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Oh I’m sure he has just as much fun as I do,” Buffy said.

“But... You two is havin’ sex with a whole bunch of other people and you’s don’t get jealous?” Kaylee asked via wave screen.

“Not a whole bunch,” she replied and shrugged. “And no we don’t get jealous. He gets turned on to watch me with a girl and I get watching him with a girl. The sex afterward is amazing too. These girls maybe trainin’ to get into bed with people, but there is no substitute for Spike.”

Kaylee’s face was burning up from blush. “Oh, wow... I mean, there not as good as Spike? Ain’t they trained pros?”

“They’re in training,” Buffy told her. “And I don’t think anyone is as good as Spike. He’s had over a hundred years of experience.”

“Have any of the girls showed you anything new?” Kaylee blushed more.

“We’ve done everything, honey,” Buffy smiled.

“Everything? Even in the bu-?”

“When I say everything,” Buffy cut her off. “I mean everything.”

“But don’t that hurt?” Kaylee shifted in her chair.

“Not if you do it right. It’s just as pleasurable when you do it regular. Just don’t let anyone do a dirty sanches on you. They ask, you say no!” Buffy told her.

“What’s a dir-?”

“Just nod and say you’ll say no,” Buffy cut her off and Kaylee nodded. “Right, enough with my sew life, how’s yours? Simon come around yet?”

Kaylee sighed and pouted. “No. Gorramit, he hasn’t!” she grumbled.

“I’m sorry, sweetie. He will soon enough.”

“Every time I think we get somewheres, we get interrupted, or he says something stupid, or I say something stupid and we’re back at square one!” Kaylee raved.

“I don’t know what to say, honey,” Buffy said sadly.

“No, it ain’t your fault,” Kaylee deflated. “It’s mine and Simon’s. Okay, I’m done.”

“So how’s everyone else?” Buffy smiled.

“Oh, Wash and Zoe are fine. River’s gettin’ saner. But Mal...” Kaylee trailed off.

“What?” Buffy asked concerned. “What is it? Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine it’s jus’... He ain’t been quite like himself since ‘Nara left, you know? And then Book got off at Haven...” she shrugged helplessly.

Buffy gave her a sad smile and nodded.

“Buffy?” came Inara’s voice from behind her.

“In here Inara!” she called back through the door and then turned back to Kaylee on the screen. “Wanna’ talk to my great-granddaughter?” she asked.

“So you guys confirmed it? Dawn was your daughter not your sister?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Buffed nodded as Inara entered the room. “Spike read it about a month ago in her diary. For a while she was obsessed with finding everything about the monks and the Key that she could find. Found out that they used both our DNA to shape her. Can’t make a human without the X and the Y.”

“Huh?”

“They needed a girl and boy to make it work,” Buffy summed up and Kaylee nodded. “Well here’s Inara, I got to go. Take care sweetheart, and don’t worry, he’ll be fine.”

“Bye Buffy,” Kaylee waved and smiled at Inara when she took Buffy’s seat in front of the screen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After talking with Inara, Kaylee headed out of Inara’s old shuttle and found Mal on the catwalk. “Hey Cap!” she smiled brightly at him.

“What you doin’ in there?” he asked almost harshly.

Her smile faltered a second. “I waved the trainin’ house to see how they was doin’,” she told him.

Mal looked like he wanted to asked something, about Inara, Kaylee thought, but her just nodded and turned to walk away.

“They say hi,” Kaylee followed him into the halls. “You know, ‘Nara and everybody.”

“That’s nice Kaylee,” Mal replied tersely.

“They’re all good,” she told him as they reached the mess hall. “Spike and Buffy got jobs workin’ with the girls so they can pay for the rooms and stuff.”

“So whorin’ runs in the family, does it?” Mal bitterly responded.

Kaylee glared at him. “They’re not whorin’. Any of them. Inara don’t take clients anymore and Buffy and Spike are really open sexually. The girls need bodies to practice on, so it works out fine.”

Mal snorted, but didn’t reply.

“Ya’ know, maybe if you didn’t act this way and told ‘Nara that you miss her and you want her to come back, then maybe she’d want to talk with ya’,” she snapped at him.

Mal turned to her, eyes blazing. “You keep your mouth shut ‘bout other people’s business girl!” he growled and left her in the mess hall on his way to the bridge.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Spike had been getting the feeling that something wasn’t quiet right for the past hour or so. He couldn’t place it, but he didn’t like it one bit.

After he could stand it no longer, he canceled his classes for the rest of the day to try and figure it out. He stalked the now familiar grounds of the Training House and after a few rounds, found himself at Inara’s room across from his and Buffy’s.

He rolled his eyes, thinking he was being paranoid, but raised his hand to knock on the door. After knocking, he became worried as he heard with his advanced hearing Inara’s strained voice and one he hadn’t heard before. A man’s voice. He frowned as he was the only man in the house and Inara wasn’t taking clients since she was teaching.

He knocked again, harder. “Inara?” he called and put his hand on the knob. “Inara, luv, I’m comin’ in.”

He entered the room and found his great-granddaughter sitting on her couch with a black man he’d never seen before. His face cool and unfazed as Inara looked flushed and unsettled.

“You didn’t answer,” Spike said, motioning to the door. “Are you all right, sweetheart?”

Inara cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes, I’m fine William.”

“William Coven,” Spike extended his hand to the man.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” he replied.

“And you are?” Spike asked.

“I don’t have a name,” he replied.

Spike sniffed, irritated. This guy was annoying him. Unsettling him. So much so, that he dropped his polite act and sat slouching on the couch next to Inara. “Alright then Mr. No Name. What are you doin’ here?”

“I am speaking with Miss Serra,” he replied.

“Yeah, I got that part,” Spike nodded and turned to Inara. “Thought since you were teachin’ you didn’t take clients anymore?”

“I’m not her client,” the man told him. “I’m looking for these two fugitives,” he handed Spike pictures of River and Simon. “I have reason to believe that Miss Serra has been in contact with them. Knows where they are headed.”

Outwardly unfazed, Spike looked the man in the eye. “And what would give you that idea?”

“They are known to be onboard a space transport named Serenity,” the man said. “Miss Serra was renting a shuttle from the ship’s Captain Malcolm Reynolds for longer that a year.”

“And?”

“I need to find the Tams, bring them to justice,” he said.

“What crimes have they committed?” Spike asked.

“That information is classified,” said the man. “Now if you’ll excuse us, I have more questions that need answering.”

“Yeah see,” Spike began smirking. “I have a problem when someone upsets my great-granddaughter. And your questions are doin’ so.”

“I don’t have time for games Mr. Coven,” the man said menacingly.

Spike’s smirk dropped and he glared at the man. “I’m not playing any games, mate, so you best leave now.”

“You won’t intimidate me Mr. Coven, anymore than you’ll make me to believe that this, full grown woman is you daughter at best.”

“Weather you believe it or not doesn’t make it any less the truth,” Spike growled. “And I’m tellin’ you to leave her alone or else.”

The man looked him up and down. “You don’t understand the complicity of this matter, Mr. Coven. And if you threaten me again, I will have arrested.”

“Oooh, I’m so scared,” Spike mocked.

“You should be,” the man told him.

Spike smiled an evil smile and shook his head. “No, mate... You should be.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is nice,” Spike said casually as he looked at the Operative’s sword. “Practical. Maybe even scary if the right man is holdin’ it.”

The Operative lay on the ground, beaten and bruised and somewhat bloody.

“I guess that comes in useful, your line of work,” Spike continued and tossed the sword over to Inara.

“Who are you?” the Operative panted out.

“I’ve already told you my name,” Spike replied. “But I think what you’re gettin’ at, is how did I beat the livin’ shit out of you and not even break a sweat? Not bad for a great-granddaddy is it?”

The man frowned, but didn’t answer.

“Still don’t believe me ‘bout that?” Spike knelt down next to him. “Still don’t believe that this beautiful young woman over there isn’t from my descent?”

Again, the Operative didn’t reply.

“You also didn’t believe I was much of a threat either, did ya’?” Spike smirked. “Maybe you ought to find somethin’ new to believe in?”

“It’s impossible,” the beaten man told him.

“Sir, I was born on Earth-That-Was over six-hundred years ago. Nothing,” Spike replied. “Is impossible.”

“You’re deranged,” the Operative spat.

“No, but I have been,” Spike told him. “... What’s so important ‘bout River an’ her brother?”

The Operative didn’t answer.

“Please keep in mind that you are held at my mercy and I’m a very impatient man... No...? Then how ‘bout I tell you a story ‘bout a bloke called William the Bloody? Maybe we can even act out a few scenes, then we can see if your tongue has loosened?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So how was she?” Sheydra asked as Buffy excited her classroom in a short silky robe.

Buffy had gotten over the blushing after the first month of her new work. “She had her moments,” Buffy told her. “Could use some work though.”

“I see,” Sheydra nodded thoughtfully. “Perhaps she hasn’t been very enthused with her studies?”

Buffy shrugged. No one had ever giving her a manual. For slaying or for sex. “You’d have to ask William to sit in. He’s more of the expert.”

“Yes, I hear you are a very lucky woman,” Sheydra smirked. “He seems to have an uncanny knowledge of all things sexual.”

Buffy grinned. “I’m afraid if you aren’t a student, you won’t be finding out.”

The door opened behind Buffy and a young pretty girl stepped out.

“Jazz,” Sheydra greeted. “Mrs. Coven seems to think you may require more practice. Her husband will be sitting in for now on.”

Jazz nodded and gave a quick smile to Buffy.

“Did you remember what I told you?” Buffy asked and Jazz nodded. “William will help you work on it next time, don’t fret about it.”

“Thank you Mrs. Coven,” Jazz bowed her head and started off down the hall as Inara came up it.

“Hey sweetheart,” Buffy smiled at her and took in her appearance. “Are you alright?”

Inara put on a fake smile for Sheydra and nodded. “William asked me to come find you. He says he needs to speak with you urgently,” she made it sound like an innuendo so not to rouse suspicion from the House Mistress.

“Go see to your husband,” Sheydra smiled at Buffy and nodded to Inara as she left them to each other.

“What is it?” Buffy asked as she and Inara went back down the hallway towards her room.

“We have some trouble,” Inara replied. “Spike will tell you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Spike what are you doing?”

Spike looked up and looked like a child who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He grinned sheepishly and removed his hands from the Operative’s jaw. “Tellin’ a story,” he sing-songed.

“Would this story have something to do with someone called ‘The Bloody’?” Buffy asked in the same tone as his.

“It might,” he nodded and wiped his hands of on Inara’s rug and stood.

Buffy rolled her eyes and closed her robe tighter around her almost bare body. “Inara said you needed me. Who is he and why are you reenacting scenes from your long past?”

“You know technically, your past is only a century shorter than mine,” Spike replied. “So don’t be makin’ over the hill jokes if you don’t want ‘em back ten full.”

“Whatever,” Buffy shrugged. “Will you answer my questions?”

“Well he doesn’t seem to have a name,” Spike told her. “No rank, but I know he works for the Alliance as an Operative. He’s lookin’ for River and Simon. He’s a killer...”

“What are we doing with him?” she asked, glaring coldly at the man on the ground, too beaten to move.

“Yeah, well that part...” he trailed off laughing a bit nervously. “It seems that he’s got back up and they’re gonna’ be here in a few short hours. So I need you to go put some clothes on and pack some bags, ‘cause we need to go.”

“Go?” Inara voiced for the first time. “Where?”

“Well, sweetheart,” he began. “I need you to go and wave Mal,” as she looked about to protest, Spike continued. “I can’t figure out how to work the damn thing and I have to deal with this bugger. Buffy has to get dressed and what not. You go tell Mal we’re in trouble, need a ride and you miss him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mal, you up? You’ve got a wave, I’ll bounce it down to you,” Wash’s voice woke Mal and he staggered up and over to his cortex screen.

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Mal was surprised to find Inara staring back at him. “Inara?”

Inara blushed at the sight of his half dress. “Um, hi,” she smiled awkwardly. “Is this, uh, bad time?”

Mal ran a hand through his sleep mussed hair and shrugged. “Good as any... So what occasions the wave? You know, not that to see you needs- Well you look very fine.”

“Oh, thank you,” she replied, briefly forgetting why she waved him.

“So how’s your world?” he asked.

“Cold,” she told him. “It’s autumn here.”

Mal nodded and then his eyes widened slightly. “Uh, ‘Nara? You aware that a very topless woman’s just ran behind you?”

Inara turned quickly as Buffy disappeared out of site of the screen. “Buffy!” she shooed away. “Mal just saw you naked.”

“Sorry!” Mal heard from off the screen and he chuckled.

Inara turned back to him. “Sorry. I’m using the terminal in her room. She’s getting dressed. We have a problem.”

Mal was instantly concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“An Operative from the Alliance was here. Is here. He knows that Simon and River are on Serenity,” she told him. “Spike beat the ever loving go si out of him, but we need to leave. We can’t stay here and endanger the girls.”

“So you need a ride?” he asked. “Any place in particular you want to go?”

“I was thinking Haven,” she told him. “But really we just need to get out of here.”

Mal nodded. “You guys think you can sit tight for a day? We’re not too far out.”

“You still have my GPS codes?” she asked.

“I do,” he replied.

“I’ll turn it on at about 11:00. Do you think you’ll be here by then?” she said.

“I think we can swing that,” he told her nodding.

“Thank you Mal,” she smiled.

‘Nara?” he called before she could turn off the wave. “I uh- Well I jus’-”

“I miss you too,” she told him and the screen went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You threaten my friends and upset my family, this is what happens to ya’,” Spike told the Operative as he picked him up easily and tossed him on the couch. “I warned you. But no. You had to be all... bloody buggerin’ and try to cut my head off in front of my great-granddaughter.”

“Can he hear you?” Buffy asked from the doorway.

“No, but I felt the need for ranting,” he smiled over to her. “Nice dress.”

“Oh,” she looked down at her clothing. “Thank you.”

“Get everything packed?” he asked. “Dawn’s books?”

“All ready to go. And Inara waved Mal. They’re on their way,” she told him and moved forward into his arms. “It went well.”

“Did it?”

“It was sweet,” she looked up at him. “Even though I ran passed the screen naked trying to get to the dresser.”

“What?” he laughed.

“I thought they needed an ice breaker,” she shrugged as he kept laughing.

“I love you,” he shook his head with a smile.

“I love you too, baby,” she told him and leaned up towards him for a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~