Drifting. the stars are sparkling in the dead of space (hydrogen, helium, oxygen, carbon, nitrogen, silicon, magnesium, neon, iron, sulfur) pretty pretty lights in my eyes drifting with the motion of sweet Serenity (faithful, alive, home, Midbulk transport, standard radion-accelerator core, classcode 03-K64, Firefly, safety) Simon inside worrying Captain flying within Jayne cleaning his guns. Anara her face, and Zoe missing Wash again. my family is broken may never heal but here on Serenity we stay.

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Nothing But Noises. nice girls don’t cry. nice girls don’t scream and throw things. nice girls don’t go insane. nice girls don’t wear combat boots. nice girls do their work promptly and cheerfully. nice girls sit and stand and do as their told. I’m not a nice girl. I don’t try hard enough. I need to listen, Simon and Cap'n. know best. I could be a nice girl. if I try.

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the Wind. the wind is blowing again. once it start it never stops, not until it fills your head, your eyes, your heart.  not until you scream. Simon says there isn't wind in space. I know better. I see it everywhere. ever since Miranda. the Dead ride the winds that blow us away. we never really left. night night time. time to be a good girl. take my meds. meds make Simon feel safe. Make him feel like I’m better. like everything’s ok. they make me dream. - River.

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Somedays. Somedays, Simon smothers me with attention, constantly checking up on me, and some days he hardly even notices me, especially when he’s working on a new project. I know he means well, but I wish he’d make up his gorram mind. At least Kaylee gives him something else to think about these days. I think he’s going to propose. its gonna be a June Wedding. - River

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Unification Day. its Unification Day today. I got to pilot Serenity this year, while Simon patched up Cap’n. Zoe didn't much of a fight this year, but at least she went. thats something. - River

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Algorithms and Flying. I’ve begun hiding algorithms in my sketches and paintings, just to see if anyone notices. No one ever does anymore, not since Book. Book always noticed, even when he didn't say anything about it. But their there. just in case.  I’ve been much better these past few days, so Cap’n in a rare display of wisdom, has begun showing me how to fly solo. I already know most of it, but its nice to hear him say it anyhow. Cap’n does a rare good job flying Serenity, but he hasn't have the touch. Maybe I do. as for our last Job, we came, we was shot at, we left. Blah blah, all in good health, got the job done. Typical run. Mite to typical these days. But typical. today is a old Earth that was holiday. no one knows but me. all the Families a bustle, ant hill tipped upside down. I’m hiding, so River can’t find me, but have to go soon. Kaylee’s letting me help cook supper. something about Fire in a Can, fun for all the good boys and girls, most especially me. - River.

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Sometimes I Wonder sometimes I wonder if there is a Star out there, made just for me. made just for each and everyone of us. the mathematical probability is extremely unlikely of course, but I wonder. - River

*read Rivers new entries everyday at www.riversdiary.tumblr.com or find her on facebook under Rivers Diary*