BLUE SUN ROOM FAN FICTION - GENERAL

JAZMYN

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 6
Monday, February 28, 2005

dose jayne care or don't he Feed back plz


CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 1921    RATING:     SERIES: FIREFLY

Jayne was in he’s bunk when he heard Simon on the intercom. Jayne came to jazz’s room and Simon was standing over her “What in hells name is going on in here” Jayne said looking at Simon and jazz “I don’t know river didn’t tell me” “I did tell you, you weren’t listening” river said “What did you do to her to crazy assed girl” Jayne said shaking river “I was teaching her a lesson” river said “Jayne put her down” Simon said almost shouting “and help me take jazz to the infirmary” Simon said to Jayne as he put down river and walked over to Jazz. Simon was going to help Jayne pick up jazz but he just picked her up and walked out the door before he could help. Jayne had done this before with Kaylee when she got shot by that gorram cop. When the doc first came on board. “And now he was doing it again” he thought to himself as he walked with jazz in he’s arms

When they got to the Infirmary River was on the bench watching jazz on the operating table and Jayne fidgeting “What the gorram is wrong with her doc” Jayne said looking worried “I don’t know” Simon said looking at river “She’s sleeping, she’s thinking, she’s letting her mind work she wont awake” river said “What ya mean you gorram girl she won’t wake” Jayne said “She means she’s in a coma” Simon said “But some people don’t wake from a coma” Jayne said a little scared “People do come out of a comas all the time Jayne” Simon said “We have to get mal and Zoë back now” Jayne said though the intercom to wash “Ok, ok but what’s wrong” wash said on the intercom “Jazz is hurt” Simon said before Jayne could say anything “Tell them to get back to the ship now” Jayne said “She in a coma” Simon said As Jayne heard it again he left the infirmary “He’s afraid” River said “Who’s afraid “Simon said “Jayne” she said “Jayne?, Jayne doesn’t care about anything” Simon said “He cares about her” river said looking at jazz

“Mal, Mal” wash said “where in gorram hell are you” he hist into the radio “Wash this isn’t a good time” mal said looking at Mr Niska “If you can’t do this job I will find someone who will” Niska said “Now calm down Mr Niska sir we will do this train for ya” Mal said “Good, you have one week to come up with a plan” “Fine” Mal said “Mal were in gorram hell are you” wash said over the radio “Wash what’s wrong” Mal said “Its jazz there’s been an accident” wash said “What type of accident” Mal said “I am not sure” wash said “but doc says to get back now” “Ok were on our way” “Ohh Mr Reynolds give my regards to the girl” he said with a twisted smile on he’s face

“Where am I” jazz said to the dark “You’re in a coma” “River is that you” “Yes” “Where are you its so dark” “Yes it is were inside your head” “What?” “You need to dream to revisit your past to work out your pain” River said “You did this to me didn’t you?” “Yes” “Why” “So your would learn and go to your past” “But I don’t want to go back there I have already lived that once I don’t want to do that again” “You must in order to get out” river said “Why are you making me learn” “Because you have a gift and you need to harness it” “But my power isn’t like yours” jazz said “But it can be with training” “Training from who you?” “Yes I can help you, go back to your past” “No I can’t” “You have to or you can’t get out” “Fine” jazz said As soon as she said that the darkness changed into the ship that her family travelled on when all of this began to happed She was reliving the key parts of her history all over again. “No I can’t go though this again” but it was to late it had already began

It was late when Mal and Zoë got back to the ship and they had gone straight to the infirmary and were standing in the door way Looking at jazz lying there tossing and turning and mumbling incoherently “Why is she doing that” Mal said looking at her “She remembering” River said getting up looking at her jazz move like she was having night terrors “How can we help her” Zoë said just watching her friend in terror “You can’t only she can” River said walking over to mal “No please no” jazz said in a incoherent voice “We have to help her” mal said looking at river “We can’t” River said “only she can do that” she said walking passed mal and Zoë “she must sleep she is remembering” River said walking away. “What dose that mean?” Mal said looking at Zoë “I don’t know sir” Zoë said looking at her friend the last time and then leaving As he looked at her he thought that she might have a fever because the way she was tossing and turning and her temperature was high and her speech was incoherent. Mal put a cold towel on her head and tried to comfort her

COMMENTS

Monday, February 28, 2005 11:12 PM

FREDIKAYLLOW


hiya.
sorry i haven't commented before but i only just went back and read all the chapters.
it's a really good concept, and i think with a bit of development it will be good. one thing you need to do is edit it. there were a few minor spelling mistakes. but the main issue was that there were no full stops. makes it really hard to read, although you can sometimes figure out where they would go. maybe you should think about getting a friend or someone to read and edit it for you.
but like said, i really like the plot line. with a bit of editing it can become a great story!!!
keep it up!!

no power in the verse
xoxox-fredikayllow-xoxox


POST YOUR COMMENTS

You must log in to post comments.

YOUR OPTIONS

OTHER FANFICS BY AUTHOR

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 10
Will She finaly tell them or show them

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 9
jazz knows all there secrets but they dont know her's

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 8
will she share her past with the crew of the serenity

coments plz


The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 7
well they finally find out jazz's past

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 6
dose jayne care or don't he Feed back plz

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 5
Is River as inocent as everyone says or she not quite right

The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 4
will she tell jayne or will she hide from him?


The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 3
jazz has dark secrents will she tell them to Jayne or will Jayne tell her how he feels?


The secrets of the tenth crew member chapter 2
jazz has been with the crew of serenity for meny years but she has some dark secrets and has Jayne finaly met hes match?

feed back plz


The secrets of the tenth crew member
jazz has been with the crew of the serenity for meny years but she has some dark secrets beneth her calm personalty and has jayne met he's match ?
chapter 1
would love to here coments plz