Part 1 of 3 : A new beginning

Present day – morning

The raindrops hit hard against her head as she stood, trying to make up her mind. The airlock of the cargo bay towering before her. “This is my only hope...” she tried to sound convincing, if only to herself. It was one of the hardest decisions she had ever had to make: leave everything familiar to her, go off to who-knows-where and start a new life doing who-knows-what.

Four months earlier

Adreana Bellinsky had been working as a biochemical technician at one of the Alliance’s facilities for about six months. There was a boom in business so to speak after the Alliance pretty much won the war. She hadn’t even ever thought about on who’s side she was on. They had offered her a bursary to study biotechnology at one of the most advanced facilities and then they offered her a job she never dreamed of having. Great pay, great benefits. But she never realised (or even thought about) what the price would be. As it turned out, the price was too damn high.

One day she just happened to pick up one of the files that a high-ranking officer dropped. “TAMM, HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL, CLEARANCE LEVEL NINE” was all it said on the front. Innocently intrigued she flipped through the pages (okay, maybe not so innocently). There were photos of a brother and a sister and some notes on procedures. Suddenly, almost violently she dropped the folder. “What the hell?!” was all she could breathe. It wasn’t notes, but a detailed description of brain-altering procedures that had been performed on River (the sister). She frantically looked around to check if anybody had seen her and picked up the folder. Before she could stop herself, she threw it in the incinerator. She didn’t even notice that tears had started rolling down her cheeks. All she could think about was what had been done to that poor, innocent girl. An inextinguishable flame of hatred began to burn in her gut as she practically ran to the main lab. She swiped her security card. The doors whooshed open. Checking to see that nobody saw her, she typed “TAMM” into the search log on the computer. “ROOM 3251”. She ran to the elevator. Right then and there she decided what she had to do, no matter what the cost to herself.

The girl was startled at first, but Adreana tried to sound as calm as she could: “River, we have to…” But the girl interrupted her with: “What took you so long?”

“OK, you’ve got to be quiet, just for a little while”. And so they made it as far as the nearest Alliance docking bay. “I’ve called your brother and told him where you are. I’ve also set the Autopilot of the shuttle to take you to a safe place where he will come and get you soon. No, don’t cry. It will all be over soon. You do want to see Simon again, don’t you?”

“It’s not that, you’re not good at hide and seek, they’ll throw you out into the deep sea! You’ll drown!”

“No! River, listen to me: don’t worry about me, you just get into the shuttle and I promise that I’ll see you and your brother again someday…” River hugged Adreana and got into the shuttle just as she heard the alarms of the building start screaming. Adreana watched the shuttle take off and ran to the one that was left. She had managed to get some of her things together, into a suitcase and into the shuttle before things got urgent. She pressed down on the red and green button and shut her eyes as the engine came to life. They would be catching up to her any moment now…at least River was safe.

Present day – morning

Before she could change her mind the huge metal door started to open. She could remember only one other time in her entire life that she had felt so anxious and trapped. She would have run away, except her legs wouldn’t move. The site that greeted her was nothing like she had imagined. There stood only the captain of Serenity.

“Hi, Malcolm Reynolds, at your service.” he stated matter of factly. He was tall, but not overly so. He’s handsome, but that would be the last thing her burnt out brain could register. He stood with his arms folded over his chest.

“Um...hi, I’m...”

“I know who you are.” he cut her off. “You agree with the terms that we spoke of?” he asked in a more polite voice, dropping his arms to his sides.

“Yes, I...I do, captain.” her voice sounded even more feeble than she thought it would.

“Shiny. Welcome aboard Serenity. Class one flying hotel.” he said smiling warmly, instantly calming her shattered nerves. She could sense that he wasn’t being sarcastic, but rather trying to bring some comic relief. Mal picked up her small suitcase and motioned for her to follow him. “My crew is still planet side concludin’ some business. Mainly collectin’ our pay. I will take you to your quarters. It’s modest to say the least, but we have to make due with what we have I guess...”. Looking at the ship from the outside it was almost impossible to imagine just how rustically beautiful it could be on the inside. The wear and tear gave it a kind of a familiar feeling. Hiding in all those uncomfortable places, that had been the one thing she had missed the most. That and the company of other people in a somewhat similar situation as she was.

Her room was empty and cold at first. Sure, there was a modest single bed, small table and mirror and lamp, but it still felt empty. Looking at herself in the mirror - hair all wet and messed up, clothes tattered and dull - she must not have made a good impression on the captain. She began to cry, feeling very sorry for herself for the first time in very long. ”NO!” she said out loud.” I won’t do this! I won’t let them win!” but even though she said it with such conviction, she couldn’t stop herself from feeling alone, so very utterly alone. Everything she had was gone, except the few things she could fit in a suitcase small enough to carry. She decided that she couldn’t meet the rest of the crew looking like a scarecrow, and slowly started unpacking her things. She took her time brushing her hair and cleaning her face and hands. She hadn’t put on any make-up in so long, so she decided that the ocation only called for her favourite cherry lip balm.

That afternoon at lunch

The food left much to be desired, but it felt good to have a full belly. The berry juice was nice, though. Suddenly voices sounded from the corridor and she jumped a little. “Here they are now!” Mal exclaimed, as if he hadn’t noticed. She could tell that he had. A sudden silence fell in the small room as the crew entered. “Everyone, meet our newest crew member...” Mal announced in a theatrical voice. Adreana took a long deep breath and smiled at the five pairs of eyes staring at her. “Hi! I’m Adre...” was all she had time to say. “Well, hi there! I gather the Capt’n has told you all about us modest lot.” Adreana could tell that the smile on Kaylee’s face was as genuine as they come. It was strange to her that everyone looked relatively happy to see her except the tall man leaning against the doorpost. Everybody introduced themselves and shook her hand, except that guy. From him she only got a cold nod. River ran up to her and hugged her. “I…I don’t know how to ever thank you…” Simon started, but she just smiled and hugged River even tighter. “See, I told you I would see you again someday…” Adreana said to River. Everyone looked a bit surprised, but kept on welcoming her anyway.

After they hearty meal everyone retired to their respective quarters. Jayne took the chance he had been waiting for and pulled Mal to the side. “What the hell, Mal. What ‘cha think you’re doin’ bringin’ another fugi on the ship?” Jayne was noticeably upset.

“Exactly who is the captain of this ship?” Mal asked in a stern captainy voice.

“Sorry, but what use she gonna be?” Jayne tried to state more calmly.

“She has training in running a lab so she could help Simon with River and with the rest of the crew’s illnesses.” Mal was more than a little annoyed with Jayne.

“You’re not thinkin’ straight I dunno abou...” was all Jayne had time to say before Mal cut him off.

“That is enough, Jayne. You don’t like the arrangement, you leave. End of discussion.” And with that Mal went to check on Wash and the scan for Alliance ships with a visibly disgruntled Jayne following him reluctantly. Jayne realised it would be very stupid of him to walk out on the good thing he has going on Serenity. After all, he got jobs, pay, food and free lodging. All he had to do was what he does best, be a mercenary. He would just have to stick it out and let this mess waiting to happen, play itself out.

That night at supper

Despite the fact that Adreana was dead-tired, she just couldn’t fall asleep. She spent the hours contemplating everything that had happened and deciding how she was to handle everything and how she would try to really fit in on Serenity. She got up, straightened out her hair and dress and walked to the mess hall.

Everyone settled down to eat and Adreana just watched. Still feeling very out of place on the ship. Dinner went smoothly, with what Adreana could see was the usual chatter and banter between the odd collection of people sitting at the table. Everyone was noticeably very tired from the past few days’ hard and not so honest work. Adreana insisted on washing the dishes although she felt like falling over and sleeping right there on the cold, hard metal floor.

The preacher came and spoke to her while she was busy. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m here. Just say the word, so to speak.” He smiled his calming smile at her.

“Thank you very much preacher, but I still have to sort some things out for myself that no one could possible help me with.” After doing a very good job of cleaning up (considering that there was a layer of dust on everything that was probable bonded to it for life) she made her way to her own room. Her own room, the sound of that brought a hint of warmth to her heart.

The bed was relatively soft and the blankets were warm and fluffy. She had half expected the Alliance police to come through the door at any second saying they paid the captain a small fortune for the three fugitives. But that never happened. And somehow she knew that, as long as she was on this ship, it never would. After staring at the sealing for much shorter period of time than she had expected, she fell asleep. For the first time in months she didn’t have nightmares. No dreams either, but no nightmares at least.

* * *

The next morning Adreana was awakened by a startling ruckus down in the cargo hold. Her heart jumped as she anticipated the worst. After a few tense moments she threw on a coat that she found lying on her bed next to the nightgown and went down to see what was happening. As she rounded the corner she saw the crewmembers playing some kind of game resembling basketball of the old days.

“Ten in the morning, sleepy head! Not going to fly to the moon with those cold, white, bare feet...”. River was sitting on the ledge of the walkway suspended above the cargo area with her feet dangling over the edge and holding on to the railing.

“Sit down, it’s fun watching the little sheep running around, chasing one another, chasing the grey ball!” It was such pure laughter coming from River that Adreana just had to smile. It felt good. She sat down beside River and to her amazement actually enjoyed the show. After about fifteen minutes River started to comment loudly on the game and shouting encouragements to both the distinct teams. Adreana decided to join in. River laughed with her as they started rooting for opposite teams to win. Everyone looked up in surprise at first but after a while the game was underway again. Wash’s hair was messed up and it gave him a sort of boyish look. Zoe was smiling broadly at the antics of her husband, while Mal just eyed both of them in mock disapproval. Kaylee was a little short to make the basket, but Jayne hoisted her up on his shoulders with ease and their team won the game. River and Adreana cheered.

At the breakfast table things were still jovial. Adreana ate her food quietly and took the chance to look everyone over while they spoke. She laughed at Wash’s jokes and the mock-disapproving looks he got from Zoe for acting like such a clown. Kaylee teased Simon about being so proper while eating breakfast and drinking his juice like (in Kaylee’s words) “Earl Gray”. Inara got up and began clearing the table. Adreana helped her wash up. Inara told Adreana that she had the perfect complexion for a dress that didn’t suit Inara very well. She asked Adreana to try it on when she had a chance.

“What’re you women jackin’ about? I asked for more berry juice like an hour ago!” Jayne looked really upset. Adreana jumped at the initial sound of his voice. Inara noticed and stood right beside her. “Well, you didn’t ask me or Adreana by name so why are you blaming us?” Inara said in a stern voice.

“You women, only good for one thing...” Jayne said under his voice as he stomped off to go and get himself another glass of berry juice.

“Sorry about that, Adreana. Our Jayne is like that sometimes”. Inara said as if it was no big deal. From that, and from the little Adreana had seen of Jayne, that he was a simple type of person. And really rough around the edges. Basically a brute with very little manners.

“That’s okay.” Adreana sighed. “I think I know why he’s upset...he doesn’t want any more fugitives on your ship that could have led the Alliance straight to all of you.” Adreana finished with a noticeably sad tone in her voice.

“We just have to be careful and watch out for them and watch each other’s backs, right?” Inara turned from the cupboard where she was putting the plates to find that Adreana was facing the opposite way. “I’m...I’m really sorry to do this to all of you, I just...don’t have anywhere else left to go.” Adreana was suddenly very upset. It finally sank into her mind that she really did have nowhere else left to turn. She felt so unwelcome here sometimes, despite all the friendly gestures. Inara hugged her tightly until she calmed down. “That is the way we all felt after we first got here. But now look at us - one big, happy, dysfunctional family! Now, let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow the captain will decide which job to take and to what planet we are going off to next.”

The rest of the day Adreana spent with the women of the ship having her hair and nails cut and cleaned. They talked “normal girl-talk” and they told Adreana some information on all the members of the crew, as well as their captain.

From the way Inara talked about Malcolm Reynolds Adreana could tell she was in love with him. Not just because he is so strikingly handsome, but because of who he is. Brave, loyal and kind. She could also tell that Kaylee was head over heals for Simon, but would never in a million years admit to it. Not even to herself. It was nice. To know that even if they met each other under such circumstances, they were meant for one another. Sure, she had had her share of boyfriends, but you could count them on one hand. Where she had worked in the Alliance lab it was all work and no play made all the boys dull. They just wanted to talk about academic and Alliance issues. None of them were men of action. None of them would take a bullet for the woman he loved, or even cared if she got shot. She didn’t even want to think about men ever again in her life!

“Hey, are you listening?” Kaylee smiled at the look on Adreana’s face. She could tell that she was miles away.

“Sorry, I…uhm…I was just thinking back to when I was happy. Don’t get me wrong. I like it here and I like you too, but I don’t always feel welcome. Guess I still have to be completely assimilated into the family…” Adreana concluded. Talking more to herself then the others.

As if Inara knew exactly what she was thinking she said: “Don’t mind Jayne. He is grumpy and difficult most of the time, but I know that is just to protect himself. And of course there is the fact that he is not to be trusted with matters concerning money, but from what I’ve heard, he hasn’t had a wonderful life, either.“

“I know.” Adreana said, as if to herself.

“How…oh, wait…you know just like you knew exactly what I meant when I said Simon is…” Kaylee blushed. Adreana felt as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. “I’m sorry. I have had this curse ever since my folks passed away. A kinda feeling about people, motives and such.” Adreana desperately tried to clearly explain.

“It’s not a curse. It could come in handy someday when we are dealing with some of those poker-faced hooligans.“ Inara smiled sweetly.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean anything by that, it’s just weird…and wonderful.” Kaylee put her hand on Adreana’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “We woman have to stick together on this ship, otherwise the men are going to take over and then the whole ‘verse is in big trouble!” River, who had been sitting quietly in the corner, started giggling. Then everyone broke out in hysterical laughter. It felt good, Adreana thought to herself.

When everyone had calmed down, Adreana asked them to tell her about the strange game they were playing. “Let me!” Kaylee exclaimed. “It’s kinda like basketball, but completely different.” She was still giggling from the thought of men ruling the ‘verse. “The objective is to get the ball into the metal ring suspended above the cargo hold.” Zoe helps her out. “But there’s a catch. You have to do it by grabbing the ball from any of the other team’s member who just happened to have it in their possession. You have to give it a try sometime. It started as a way to relieve stress onboard and a fun way to work out.”

“ss…sure.” Adreana wasn’t too sure of herself. “It sounds kinda brutal.”

“When our boys are involved, yes…but they don’t dare get rough with any of the women.” Zoe smiled at the joke but Adreana was a little cautious.

“Jayne said something at breakfast that I didn’t quite understand. What does he mean when he says he wouldn’t touch lips with women of the other kind of your occupation?” Adreana was really puzzled. “I’m a certified companion. There are different “kinds” of us, if you like. Some more legitimate than others. The women in the informal establishments put a kind of red, sweet tasting poison on their lips. All they have to do is kiss the client once, and they can rob him blind and just disappear without any services rendered.”

“Oh” was all Adreana managed to say.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed, dear. His thoughts come out of his mouth before they reach his brain.” Inara said with a meaningful smile.

“Yeah, takin’ into account where most of his thoughts originate from!” Kaylee started giggling at her joke.

“It’s just that…there is so much to get use to…things are so different from where…” Adreana looked at the ground before her feet.

”It’s OK, babies walk with baby steps. You just have to keep up.” This was the first time River had spoken the entire time they were in Inara’s shuttle. “Thank you, River. I’ll remember that.” Adreana smiled at the girl. How right she was…

Inara walked with Adreana to her room and told her not to worry anymore and to have sweet dreams. Neither of them knew that Jayne had heard certain snippets of their conversation. He felt genuinely guilty for being the one to make Adreana feel unwelcome in the one place she had left to turn. He knew the feeling of not belonging. Still, he didn't want her thinking that he would tolerate her on the ship if Mal weren’t around, but he didn’t want her walking on eggshells around him, either. He liked hearing her laugh. The thought made him uncomfortable, but at the same time brought him comfort. He just walked off blaming these conflicting thoughts and feelings on the funny berry juice they were drinking so much of. Never know if it’s gone bad or not…

* * * Mal said it would be better for them to lay low for a week or so, Wash keeping Serenity out of Alliance scanner range. So, a few quiet days went by that Adreana spent talking to the other woman, reading or sleeping. All the anxiety and exhaustion finally caught up with her. She also didn’t eat with the rest of the crew (she was normally sleeping when they were eating and vice versa).

About six days later

Adreana got up a little earlier and had a shower. She tied her hair, that was still somewhat wet, back in a ponytail and put on a dull but clean dress. She felt hundreds of times better than she had felt for a very long time. Stepping out of her bunk less cautious, she bumped into Jayne walking past on his way to breakfast. “Would you look where you’re ruttin’ goin’ !” he snapped and walked on. Immediately Adreana felt as she had the first 10 minutes on Serenity. Realising that she had been standing there frozen exactly the way she had been after he had stomped off, she shook the feeling and walked to breakfast. She realised that she had been assured of her place on Serenity often enough and decided that she had been intimidated enough times in her life.

A few days went by where she helped to clean up the lab and organised. Mal popped in every now and then to check on how things were going and how she was doing. He was becoming seriously like a big brother to her. Simon was always so polite, but Adreana almost cracked up at how blundering he could be when Kaylee came by the lab for a visit. She always said it was for her, but Adreana smilingly knew better. She had many conversations with River. Cryptic, but interesting. Zoe and Inara also popped in. Even Jayne walked in. Once. He hadn’t started a conversation, but Adreana could feel that he didn’t know what to say, so she just took a deep breath, gave him a smile and went on with her work as if he wasn’t even there. She wasn’t ignoring him, she was rather trying to show him that his presence didn’t annoy or bother her. Somehow she just knew that was what he needed. Strange.

At breakfast, Book said grace and everyone ate, chatted and laughed. It amazed her at how relaxed and comfortable everyone was around each other. They were all so different from one another. She was also getting pretty comfortable in her seat between Simon and Inara on their side of the table.

Inara sat to Adreana’s left and Simon to her right. Kaylee always sat to Simon’s right.

As was the case most of the time, Jayne was his grumpy self and Wash was poking fun at him. “I have more experience in more areas than you will ever know of little man...” Jayne said with a suggestive smile. His voice also dropping an octave or so. He really does have a way with words, Adreana thought to herself while smiling at her plate of food.

“So, you turn mute?” At first she didn’t even realise that he had spoken to her. Jayne turned his head slightly to the side and repeated with a sheepish smile: “Hey, you turn mute or somethin’?”. She looked up from her plate right into his eyes. She had always been able to easily read peoples intentions and their motivation for doing or saying what they did. In Jayne’s eyes she could see that he was trying to apologise for being rude to her (when exactly she didn’t know, ‘cause he was kind of in that habit).

“No, I’m just enjoying the food, thank you Jayne.” she managed to say with a genuine smile. “Oh” he affirmed and ate, or rather wolfed down, the rest of his plate of food. The others had kept on talking and not noticed the moment that had just taken place. For her, it was a sign that she was a real part of the crew now. That he would tolerate her on the ship. For Jayne, well, he felt funny when he was around her. “Kinda like she could see right through a guy” he thought to himself quite often. And those electric green eyes...

The days crept by in the rhythm that had developed for Adreana, and Mal waited for an appropriate job offer to come along. There were rumours that the Alliance scouts were about on their usual routes to the various planets, so he was being extra careful. Wash kept a close eye on their movement and an ear on the scanner. A further two weeks went by in which Kaylee checked the ship’s systems, Mal surveyed possible jobs, Zoe, the preacher and Jayne worked out and did some target practice and Simon kept himself (as well as Adreana) busy in the lab. Adreana loved working in the lab. Methodical and precise. It was calming. Most of the time River would also hang around the lab. One day she came running up to Adreana with a rather loud clatter, but when Adreana looked at her, she put her finger to her lips in a hush motion. She motioned for Adreana to follow her. To her surprise, River led her to the gym room (as Adreana now called it). Jayne was doing bench presses with Book spotting for him and Zoe was throwing knives at a target (circles drawn on a board on one side of the room). River told Adreana that she should also learn to defend herself,

”It’s always a good thing to have 8 eyes like a spider, but you should learn”, River said. Zoe motioned for her to come closer and so she did. She aimed at the target and threw with all her might, but the knife just bounced of it and landed on the floor with a thud. Jayne got up and looked at the gathering on the other side of the room rather angrily. “Why ‘s she learnin’ to do that for? We’re here to protect her, aren’t we?” Jayne blurted out without thinking, as usual. When everyone, including Adreanda, looked at him in utter surprise, he quickly muttered something like “whatever...do what you like, see if I care...”. Zoe looked at the other two...then she smiled and the three women enjoyed a fit of giggles to the amazement of the two men trying to watch them without seeming too obvious. Adreana felt like she had been asleep and waken up recently to a life she never knew she could have. It was weird, but she felt so at home now. Almost happy. Almost.

Later (after many failed attempts at hitting the target)

“We’ve got mail!” Mal said cheerfully walking into the kitchen where Adreana and River where preparing dinner.

“And this time it’s a real respectable job, too” he said smiling like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. When everyone was finally gathered in the mess hall Mall told them about the job. A farmer had sold an odd number of pigs to off planet buyers and needed a “specialized” ship to transport the unusual cargo. Mall gave everyone their orders. Adreana thought that he had forgotten about her, but she was given the job of helping Simon to inspecting the pigs for diseases and such. They still had three days before they had to pick up the cargo and Adreana decided that she was going to practice her knife throwing. Although Inara was slightly insulted by Jayne’s comment earlier, Adreana wasn’t. She knew when it came down to it (and in her gut she knew that it would some day in the not so distant future) that Jayne would protect her. But what surprised her most, was that she wanted him to.

“I dunno about this job Mal, I had a run in with that farmer some time ago, only he wasn’t acting like a farmer, and he’s not to be trusted!” Jayne sounded really upset for some reason, more so than usual.

“We will keep a close eye out, Jayne, I promise...” Mal sounded comical, but serious.

“That’s not enough! We can’t take this job!” Jayne was red in the face and the vain in his temple was throbbing to dangerous proportions.

“You know what our standing arrangement is Jayne, if you don’t like my captainin’ you leave.” Mal was also getting agitated.

“You just don’t understand, Mal… “ Jayne said in an apologetic voice. When Mal just looked at him, he went on “just promise me then that only me and you set foot on that filthy planet, not one of the girls, you hear?”. Mal considered the fact that Jayne was actually referring to the females on the ship with a kind of affection and answered “Fair enough, Jayne. Then it’s just me and you. I watch your back, and you watch mine, just like always.” And with that Mal turned around and went in search of Wash to go over the coordinates for Delta Five, as the planet was renamed by the Alliance.

Jayne stomped off to his bunk with less noise than usual and with a strange look on his face. He did know the man Mal planned on doing business with and the kind of people he liked to hang around with was the kind that should be lined up against a wall and shot. Repeatedly. Or better yet, tortured like they had tortured him for three straight days. Just as he pictured the sweetest revenge he could, Adreana came around the corner with her towel in her one hand and soap in the other, singing softly to herself. She stopped dead in her tracks just as he was about to come around the corner. Her waist-length, golden brown hair was hanging loose for the first time since she had been on the ship. Inara did it up for her in a neat and plain way, so that it wouldn’t get in her way in the lab.

“What do you think you’re gorram doin’?” He was more surprised at the fact that she didn’t bump into him but stopped short of doing so. And then there was the fact that she looked completely different.

“Oops, sorry Jayne”. It was one of the few times she had called him by his name and not just avoided it all together. She smiled and went on singing on her way to the shower, like nothing had happened. He couldn’t understand why she was always nice to him when he was so rotten to her.

“What’s wrong with you? You regrettin’ somethin’ you did? Just drop it...” he kept saying to himself as he walked to his bunk. He couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to her than everyone knew. She seemed to know what people (including himself) were thinking even before they did. “Just the right kinda woman to watch out for River...two of a kind those two...” and with that thought he drifted off to sleep.

Adreana had a nice shower, slept peacefully and decided to make breakfast for everyone. She made toast (as best she could, because the bread was more than a little stale, at least not mouldy) with some jam she found in one of the boxes stacked in a corner. It was her favourite - strawberry. The smell that filled the kitchen made her happy and sad at the same time. She gave in to the sad memories for a moment and didn’t notice that she was crying quietly. Wash and Zoe came in to see what was going on.

“What’s wrong, darlin’? Does the bread taste funny?” Wash almost always made a joke out of everything, but still managed to get the serious message across.

“’Cause it looks kinda funny!” He put his arm around her shoulders and his head against hers. “There, there, just some space fungus, we won’t die, just have a queue at the bathroom for a few days” and with that he pulled a face at Zoe and made a few disgusting noises. Zoe laughed and said it smelled better in there than it had in a very long time. Soon everyone came to see what had happened in the kitchen. Nobody enjoyed the meal more than Jayne, who himself got a little teary-eyed because it was the kind of thing his mother would make every Sunday morning when he was growing up. He didn’t think about his family too much, but at times like these…Adreana noticed but didn’t say anything.

Mal appointed Jayne and Book to do the dishes. Jayne wanted to protest, but one look from Mal stopped that notion dead in its tracks. The rest of the crew went on with the preparations for the job. Adreana cleared the dirty plates and cutlery from the table and handed it to the two at the sink. Jayne kept glancing sideways to her because he wasn't sure if she had noticed his moment at the table. When she was handing him the last plate, she didn’t let go. She looked up straight in his eyes. She just wanted to see if this brute was capable of honest emotion. Book interrupted her train of thought: “Thank you child, that was needed, for our nutrition as well as our spirits. You are a true blessing.” She smiled and looked over to Jayne while saying “it’s my pleasure...” she paused for a few seconds while holding his gaze which was softer than usual, then continued in a more comical trend “I have to earn my keep on this ship, otherwise you might kick me off on the next planet” Smiling she walked away. She couldn’t believe how her mood had changed since that first day on the ship. It was truly a blessing.

The rest of the day was uneventful and she spent it in the lab making sure that all the equipment was clean and in working order. When she finally fell asleep that night she thought to herself :“this was a real good day".

Adreana practised the entire next morning. “You’re really gettin’ the hang of it, huh?”. It was Jayne. He was leaning against the doorpost. Adreana hoped that he saw most of her more accurate attempts at hitting the bullseye.

When she had finally gotten over the shock, she smiled and said “thank you, I’m trying very hard, but still only hitting the board like one out of ten times.”

“Let me show you a trick." he said almost smiling. She didn’t fail to notice how tall he was close up. And all those hours spent working out were most certainly not wasted…his voice pulled her out of her daze. “Hold the knife by its edge. Lightly. Flick your wrist and visualise it hitting the target. Like this...” he came up behind her slowly not to startle her again (more graceful than she thought he was capable of) and took the knife out of her hand and threw it at the target. With almost no sound it hit the bull’s-eye.

“That’s amazing!” Adreana exclaimed smiling up at Jayne who looked at her in surprise. He was use to the others being afraid of his “talents”, but she actually admiring it. As if she knew exactly what he was thinking at that moment she turned her gaze away from the target and directly at him and said: “you try, but you don’t succeed...”.

“What the gorram hell you talkin’ about?” he stepped away from her pretending to adjust the weights for his and Book’s workout later. “You try to show only your hard, unemotional, barbaric self to people, but I know that is not the complete truth. You do have a sensitive side, Jayne Cobb, you don’t use it very often, but it’s there. It kinda works like anger. Just because you ignore it, doesn’t mean it goes away”. Suddenly the expression on her face changed, and she threw the last knife straight at the target and hit it dead centre. For a few minutes after she had triumphantly left the room, Jayne was still staring at the knife. He pulled it out of the target and stared at it. He set the knife down, hooked his hands above his head and started doing pull-ups, deciding that he would use the time he had before lunch.

There was a load crash from the kitchen and Jayne suspected trouble (with the upcoming job and all). He quickly made his way there. “What happened?!” he almost shouted. He regretted acting so impulsively as soon as he saw Adreana picking up the big pot she had accidentally dropped. She suddenly looked so timid and scared.

“Uh, sorry I frightened you, I didn’t mean to. I thought that the people Mal’s plannin’ on doin’ business with had decided to come pay us a visit. I warned him ‘bout them...”

“What do you mean, you warned Mal?” she interrupted him. It looked like she had been crying. Her hair wasn’t as neatly done as usually, either.

“Nothin’. Sorry I scared you.” He was instinctively standing closer to her just in case there were to have been any unwanted visitors aboard the ship.

Adreana took a deep shaky breath. “That’s alright. It’s my fault for trying to pick this huge thing up in the first place. Could you just help me take it over to the corner there, please?” Jayne took it from her. She was trying to pull her hand away, but his fingers just lightly brushed hers. He felt an extreme surge of sadness. That was the moment he noticed that they had more in common than just their predicament. He was used to doing everything alone and independent. He always felt sure of himself. But not lately, not around her. He couldn't explain it, no matter how hard he tried. But he brushed the thought as far back in his mind as he could manage.

For a moment she looked into his eyes and then quickly pulled her hand away and turned toward the cupboard behind her. She was trying to look busy so that he wouldn’t see that she was crying. She didn’t want to, it was probably the stress of thinking the Alliance is going to get to them any minute. There had been rumours…She knew it was irrational, but still…When she finally turned back around, he was gone. He had left a white handkerchief on the table. She almost couldn’t believe it. “I’ll never understand men.” She said with another sigh, picked up the hanky and blew her nose.