Adreana had begun to settle into her place on Serenity so well, it seamed as if she had always been a part of the crew.

She loved working in the lab, the methodical jobs. Cleaning and testing. Most of the time it was River’s medication that took priority. The poor girl, Adreana thought. Bad things always happen to the people who least deserve them. Adreana had always been at home in the clinical environment of a lab. The precise laws of biochemistry. Since she had come to Serenity, the lines of precise laws had somewhat begun to blur. The Alliance trains mindless drones to serve them as they see fit. Adreana had been thinking a lot since her first experience on the ship. About cliché things like the meaning of life, her place in the ‘verse and so forth.

She enjoyed spending time with Inara, learning about all the interesting places she had been, people she got to meet. In that way, Adreana envied her. River usually tagged along wherever Adreana went. Talking in cryptic riddles as always. Kaylee was usually in the engine room checking on the ship. Wash was flying Serenity. He didn’t like putting her on autopilot. Book spent most of his time reading scripture or debating with River. Mal checked up on everyone from time to time. He was a very decent man, Adreana thought. Although it wasn’t Inara’s way to talk about people behind their backs, their conversation often found its way back to Mal. Inara told Adreana how he didn’t approve of her profession and how that complicated everything. Adreana felt the sad longing in Inara.

Simon spent a lot of his time in the engine room with Kaylee. Mostly talking proper Simon-talk, as Kaylee so colorfully puts it. The preacher also spent time working out, as did Jayne. River, Inara and Adreana often played cards at the table when the men would come in and work out. Adreana just couldn’t help herself. River even called her on it once or twice. She loved watching him. The way he moved. The way his muscles flexed. Pull-ups, push-ups, bench presses. She most definitely felt attracted to him. Not just physically, but also because of what they had shared. He was never far from her she begun to notice. He didn’t talk much, but one could tell what he was thinking by the look on his face and in his eyes. That was one of the things she liked about him. He was (almost) always honest, and when he wasn’t, one could usually see it on his face.

Adreana was too afraid to even give her feelings for him, and possible his for her, a second thought. So she began concentrating even more on her knife throwing, seeing as she hadn’t actually had a chance to make use of her new found skill in any of the situations she has been in up to that moment. She was really becoming an expert, though.

One day at breakfast, out of the blue, Mal asked her to give him a demonstration. He had really settled into his new found occupation – as her semi-big brother. Always making her feel more sure of herself. She walked to the gym room with her head held high and asked Jayne to stand facing the target. Very reluctantly he finally agreed.

“Trust me as I trust you” Adreana whispered to him as he walked past her. For a fleeting moment he looked into her eyes, sort of surprised to see that she was serious. He was reluctant at first, but turned to the target. “I hope you know what your ruttin’ doin’!” he said through his slightly clenched jaw. She could see that he was uncomfortable, and it was understandable – seeing as it comes with turning your back on people and giving them the chance to stick a knife in it. In his case at that moment it seemed literal. Adreana had to smile at that ironic thought.

She threw the first knife directly to the left of his head. “Damn, girl!” Wash was the first person to speak, as always. Jayne still stood there frozen. Adreana imagined that his eyes were shut tight, and that thought made her smile yet again.

“And now we need quiet from the audience, please…” Mal whispered in his theatrical voice. Adreana took aim and threw the second knife to the right of Jayne’s head. He didn’t even flinch. She could feel that he was uneasy, but not scared. The third and fourth knives went on either side of his hips.

“C’mon, give us a grand finale!” River exclaimed and giggled. Adreana got the bright idea, but wondered if she should. Jayne always stood with his legs a ways apart (to steady his weight in accordance to his height and center of gravity and all that), so that made it perfect for what her mind was headed for...She decided it would be funny and threw the last knife between Jayne’s legs. It hit dangerously close, in fact.

“Gorramit! What you think you’re ruttin’ doin’?!” Jayne spun around looking seriously startled and more than a bit angry. A small laugh escaped Adreana’s lips as she looked at Jayne’s face. Partly proud of her excellent skill, partly because she didn’t know what Jayne’s reaction was going to be. And in part, she had to admit, because she was kind of scared that Jayne might retaliate. She was pretty sure he would never hurt her, but still, maybe she was pushing her luck with the stunt she just pulled.

“Hey, remind me never to mess with you, girl!” Wash looked comically rattled and Zoe chuckled. River gave Adreana a big round of applouse while Simon and Kaylee joined in with more applause. Mal tapped her on the back. “Feel like you deserve a place on my ship yet?” was Mal’s only somewhat rhetorical question as they walked out of the room.

Adreana turned around to pull the knives out of the board – because they couldn’t be left lying around, because of River. She almost walked into Jayne. “Oops, sorry” she giggled. Mostly out of nervousness. But her smile quickly faded as she saw the look on his face. It was a mixture of hurt and anger.

“Jayne, what…” she started, but didn’t have time to finish.

“You didn’t need to humiliate me like that.” That was all he said before turning away from her and walking to his bunk, shutting the door loadly. The rest of the night Adreana just kept seeing that look in his eyes everytime she closed hers. He actually looked hurt. But there was something else. Something more than just…hurt.

The next morning at breakfast, Jayne was more distant than usual. She couldn’t figure out why. When they had finished eating, she got up and started clearing the table, as it was her turn, while the others chatted. Jayne was still drinking his juice, so she quickly went to wash the dishes, so that he would have to join her in the kitchen. She needed to talk to him. To explain, or to at least find out why he had acted the way he had and said what he had. He came up behind her and was about to put the cup down when she spun around. He didn’t look her in the eye.

“Jayne…” she started.

“Just leave it.” And with that he was gone. Adreana finished washing up and went to the gym room where she knew she would find him. He was doing pull ups at a rigorous pace.

“Jayne please…I need to talk to you…why…”

“I said leave it.” He jumped down, turned around and started walking away from her. Adreana couldn’t take it anymore. This sudden distance between them made her feel like she was being suffocated. She had gotten used to the way he always watched her and watched over her at the same time. It brought her security. She almost ran after him.

Jayne unexpectedly turned around and grabbed her arm with such force that it almost made her loose her balance. “Just leave me alone!” he almost shouted, pressing his fingers into the soft flesh of her arm, that wasn’t exactly thick enough to withstand such treatment without bruising.

Just as suddenly he let go of her and walked out. She could do nothing but let him go. The shock of what just happened hit her. She had never seen him like this. He was angry at her, or at least she was part of what made him angry. But he was hurt to. He had never physically touched her since their time on that hellhole of a planet, Adreana realised. She knew he would never really hurt her…but still – why was he like that now?

For the next three days Adreana didn’t see Jayne for even a single second. She avoided being anywhere she thought he would be, and he seemed to just avoid everyone altogether.

On the fourth day at breakfast, Mal announced that there had been some unrest on one of the outlying planets.