Re: Kitties by Niki2

TALK STORY

Re: Kitties

POSTED BY: NIKI2
UPDATED: Thursday, October 8, 2009 15:00
SHORT URL:
VIEWED: 6137
PAGE 1 of 1

Sunday, August 16, 2009 12:27 PM

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Where the dog and cat came from.

A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?”

Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.”

And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are & will love you as I do, in spite of yourself.”

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, “Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.” And God said, “No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, “and you will call him DOG.” And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him.

And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam’s guardian angel came to the Lord and said, “Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well.”

And the Lord said, “No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration.”

And God created Cat to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat’s eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased.

And Adam was greatly improved.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat didn’t give a shit one way or the other.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 12:39 PM

MANGOLO

Brilliant. We have three cats.

Dogs have owners. Cats have Staff.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=86085840444

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 12:54 PM

MAL4PREZ

Quote:
Originally posted by Mangolo:
Brilliant. We have three cats.

Dogs have owners. Cats have Staff.

All is well as long as kitty's needs are properly met...

-----------------------------------------------
hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:06 PM

BYTEMITE

Awww, all tuckered out!

It's like, you know Ducktales? With Scrooge diving into piles of gold coins?

Although, um, maybe someone should check if the little fella is still breathing...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:12 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

"Dogs have owners. Cats have Staff." Utterly; joke is "call a dog, it comes to you; call a cat, it takes a message and gets back to you later."

The kitty asleep in the food bowl is HYSTERICAL! Little critters, dogs, cats, BABIES, are so simple in their ways...sleepy? Put head down. Wherever...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:29 PM

BYTEMITE

I like the way his little kitty paws are draped over the side, like his last act before losing consciousness was to say "MINE!"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Sunday, August 16, 2009 2:47 PM

MAL4PREZ

I stole this picture from one of the first LOLcat threads I encountered (where was that? I saved it somewhere...) It was a few years ago, and yet every time I see this picture, I can't help but giggle til I cry. Really. And I'm not one given to giggling!

I mean - is it possible to be happier than that kitten? I don't think so. That's one seriously satisfied kitten.

-----------------------------------------------
hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 6:47 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

YES! I only noticed that when you wrote it, but you're right, he does look like he "claimed" it before passing out. Kittens are just so damned adorable...!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 8:05 AM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
I like the way his little kitty paws are draped over the side, like his last act before losing consciousness was to say "MINE!"

For all their alleged aloofness, cats can be extremely possessive. I've known cats to DEMAND to be petted and given attention to. If I try to walk away before the proper amount of attention is given, I get swatted at w/ very demanding paws, like " Hey, I didn't give you permission to leave yet! " Cute. A bit creepy too, but also cute.

The T.Rex they call JANE!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 8:53 AM

MSA

You do understand that we exist for the cat's satisfaction

Great story.. the other night I got up to go to the bathroom at 2 am and saw a small animal in our house ( we have 2 large dogs) I focus and realize it's a cat, in fact it's the neighbor's cat who has come visiting... Apparently I trained dogs so well to be tolerant of the cats , if any cat walks in and acts as if it belongs, the dogs roll out the welcome wagon:)

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 10:04 AM

CYBERSNARK

Cat earns High School Diploma.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32420644/ns/tech_and_science-tech_and_gadg
ets/

Quote:
Rescued from a ditch when she was no more than a teeny, tiny ball of fluff, Oreo C. Collins, a 2-year-old tuxedo cat from Macon, Ga., may be the very first in her family to obtain a 'high school diploma' — online or off. (Of course, we may never know for sure because, as she wrote in her "life experience essay" portion of the test, she's adopted.) Kelvin Collins, president and CEO of the Better Business Bureau of Central Georgia and Oreo's rescuer, encouraged Oreo to seek her "education," by taking part in the BBB's ongoing investigation of online diploma mills.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 12:02 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Hey, Raptor, I've got a rabbit as possessive as your cat(s)! She's a Netherland Dwarf, tiniest breed of rabits, but she's a heller sometimes.

I start to get down on a cushion to "visit" with her, she BITES the first part of my body that touches ground. I lay there for a while scritching her (which she adores), then when I go to get up, she BITES the first part of my body she can grab.

I THINK it's "I'm so glad you're coming down, I've lost control and just have to bite you!" and "No! Don't go! I didn't say you could go yet!", but sometimes I'm not quite surrre....

Here she is as a babe, but she's not much bigger now:

She may look cute, and she IS a real lover, but don't let her looks fool 'ya!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, August 17, 2009 4:51 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

THAT is Hi-larious!

" That rabbit's DYNAMITE! "

The T.Rex they call JANE!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 9:56 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

She THINKS she's "dynamite", in the other sense, and we're not telling her otherwise!

We had five; the only reason I got my husky from a Canadian breeder was in hopes a weeber's predatory instincts wouldn't get in the way of getting along with the rabbits. By the time he got here he was already bigger than them, tho', so it didn't work out.

There was one who stood up to him, my Polish Dwarf 'Punkin (aka Hell's Bunny). They played and she took no shit from him, I saw him sometimes go flying around a corner with her hanging on his butt!! When he got bigger, I separated them, but they pined so stupidly I let them together again. Best bet is she got tangled in his long legs, 'cuz he brought her in to me one day, neck broke, and laid her at my feet. RIP 'Punkin:

He mourned a bit, and of course it broke my heart, and from then on we blocked the door when I let the rabbits out.

One day hubby Jim wasn't noticing and Tashi got out. He means them no harm, mind you, but his idea of "play", well...there went Frodo, the Hotot cross Jo left behind when we sent her back to England.

So now I pretty much only let the remaining three out in the living room when I'm there. Besides The Mids, there's the other Hoto cross (which I rescued from a yuppie family) a sweet and staid old gentleman we named Gozer:

and Mouse, another rescue...she's a Mini Rex, which looks almost exactly like a miniature Jack and is the biggest of the bunch:

We named Gozer that--they'd called him "Snowball" <> because they'd kept him locked in his cage, saying they could only get him out with a towel and he was "mean" and bit. He's never bitten anyone, and within half an hour of arriving, he came out...been cruising happily ever since, hence "Gozer the Traveler" from Ghostbusters.

They're a joy, each has his or her own personality and I love 'em dearly. Just wish they could run free like they used to before I got Tashi.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 9:56 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Ooops, sorry...last post posted twice, and I can't see how to delete...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 10:52 AM

MSA

it happens Niki no big deal:)

Aww cute bunnies.. we had a bunny named Leo and he was very nice until a mean cat named Snowy ( who delighted in attacking all the other cats in the neighborhood) managed to get past the dog and kill him.

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 4:28 PM

KWICKO

"We'll know our disinformation program is complete when everything the American public believes is false." -- William Casey, Reagan's presidential campaign manager & CIA Director (from first staff meeting in 1981)

Quote:
Originally posted by AURaptor:
Quote:
Originally posted by Bytemite:
I like the way his little kitty paws are draped over the side, like his last act before losing consciousness was to say "MINE!"

For all their alleged aloofness, cats can be extremely possessive. I've known cats to DEMAND to be petted and given attention to. If I try to walk away before the proper amount of attention is given, I get swatted at w/ very demanding paws, like " Hey, I didn't give you permission to leave yet! " Cute. A bit creepy too, but also cute.

The T.Rex they call JANE!

Oh yeah, I get that from my older cat, Peedie. He wants to be petted, he will NOT be ignored. You'll pet him, or he'll grab your hand in both of his and put it on his head. And he'll keep doing it 'til you get the message. Shy, he ain't.

Rodger is more fickle. He wants to be petted, but he wants you to WANT to pet him. He'll cry at you about it, but he won't comer over to you to get the petting; he wants you to come to him. 'Course, if he can be petted while he eats, that's absolute heaven for him. I've joked that if I could pet him with his food, that would be the only thing better than petting him while he eats.

ETA: OOoohhh - BUNNIES! Kitty thread has become bunny thread! Bunnies are good. Cute as kittens, really. Cute as a basket of puppies. I like bunnies. My sister-in-law has one, and stayed with us a while, but when I'd let the bunny out, it would try to chew on electric cords. Not a good idea in a house full of electronic stuff!

Mike

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, August 18, 2009 5:08 PM

AURAPTOR

America loves a winner!

Quote:

...he brought her in to me one day, neck broke, and laid her at my feet. RIP 'Punkin:

Awwww. I bet he was like. "... fix Punkin? I think I broke her ". Huskies are too cute. Use to have one , and boy, can they be stubborn! Smart though. Sounds like they made a nice pair.

The T.Rex they call JANE!

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 7:27 AM

STEGASAURUS

Hee hee. This made me think of... well... ME!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 8:59 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Yes, Tashi we pretty brokenhearted when Punkin' died...very confused. Took her out back and laid her on the ground to see his reaction (once I'd gotten somewhat over the shock)...wondering whether it WAS a predatory thing. But he stood there whining and looking from me to her; broke my heart.

Frodo was MUCH tougher...I knew the other rabbits were afraid of Tashi, and of course there is no difference between "playing" and "predatory" when whatever you want to play with is fragile and frightened of you. That one was incredibly hard to get over, Frodo was a really sweet little gentleman.

Oh, yeah, they're smart...but "smart" in some dogs manifests itself as "cunning" and "conning". He does both, tho' he's much better behaved than most huskies I've met. He's got hubby about half conned...part of the reason training's such a challenge is lack of consistency, as hubby laughs at his antics and doesn't reprimand or control him...sigh...

Trainer came by for second lesson yesterday, and it was fun to watch. My first job was to teach him "down" (lay down)--he's got it, but sometimes he "tells me off" as he does, throws his head around ahd "woo woo"s and talks back. The trainer checked it out, and had to turn his head several times to hide his smile, saying "It's really hard, he's so damned CUTE about it".

THAT's a husky for you!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, August 26, 2009 9:03 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Stegasaurus: Your photo reminded me of something else:

Cat Haikus ...

You never feed me.
Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail!
Behold, elevator butt.

The rule for today
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

In deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning.

Grace personified.
I leap into the window.
I meant to do that.

Blur of motion, then --
silence, me, a paper bag.
What is so funny?

The mighty hunter
Returns with gifts of plump birds --
your foot just squashed one.

You’re always typing.
Well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.

My small cardboard box.
You cannot see me if I
can just hide my head.

Terrible battle.
I fought for hours. Come and see!
What’s a ‘term paper’?

Kitty likes plastic
Confuses for litter box
Don’t leave tarp around

Small brave carnivores
Kill pine cones and mosquitoes
Fear vacuum cleaner

I want to be close
to you. Can I fit my head
inside your armpit?

Wanna go outside.
Oh, shit! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

Oh no! Big One
has been trapped by newspaper!
Cat to the rescue!

Humans are so strange.
Mine lies still in bed, then screams
My claws are not that sharp.

Cats meow out of angst
“Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!
We could break so much!”

Litter box not here
You must have moved it again
I’ll crap in the sink

The Big Ones snore now
Every room is dark and cold
Time for “Cup Hockey”

We’re almost equals
I purr to show I love you
Want to smell my butt?

No snooze button
on hungry cat.
Teach her to fly?

So I would add: Behold! Elevator butt!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 11:04 AM

PLAINJAYNE

That's awesome. Almost everything you guys have said can be applied to my cat at one time or another. She is something else. Very spoiled. Loves the sound of her own voice. Demands to be paid attention in tribute. Will type angry letters when I aint looking. Thinks her butt's rightful place is parked on my cheek...

Day late an'a dollar short...Story of my ruttin' life!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 1:15 PM

TUJIAOZUO

We have three cats, with our dog. There are the kittens; but at a little over three feet long, fifteen pounds heavy and covered in thick long hair, there's Levi Strauss. AKA Mufasa, lord of the house, and the biggest crybaby towards us (with a surprising falsetto).

I have seen small toy breeds hide from him, and our puppy-like labrador fear him. No joke, when Nikki the Lab gets fed in the morning, she waits instead of digging in. Why? Because Levi walks over, eats a few kibbles, looks at her like 'Alright, your turn.' and walks off. Only after he's left, will she eat. If he wants in the house and we're not opening it, he gets the dog to open it for him (which, gets Nikki in trouble). He will also kick the dog out of her designated chair in the living room if he wants to lay there. By all means he's a good cat; looks out for the kittens (though he steals the mice they catch), doesn't hide from company, is a big teddy bear who will howl for attention. He's just a lion cat who feels he needs to rule over the rest of the animal kingdom.

Your Indian Pirate Lord,
Ash

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Tuesday, September 1, 2009 2:01 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Now THAT is a proper cat, who fully understand a cat's place in the world with respect to other "lesser creatures"!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 4:28 AM

SPACEANJL

I have five and half kilos of Maine Coon.

She was a breeding queen, grew up in a concrete box for her first seven years before we adopted her. She spent three days under the tv, and we were told she would never be a 'pet'.

Yeah, right.

She can fill the house with her purr, has discovered the joy of bringing in mice for missus to 'play' with. She's extremely talkative, deeply affectionate (when she wants to be) and is basically a big, furry diva. She wants me to stop the rain at the moment - very cross, because it makes her fur all frizzy.

(When I am less techno-crippled I shall post a pic.)

Incidentally, she doesn't fight like our old cat did. But he was basically Jayne with claws...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 6:58 AM

PLAINJAYNE

Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
Now THAT is a proper cat, who fully understand a cat's place in the world with respect to other "lesser creatures"!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

And we are all lesser creatures...

Day late an'a dollar short...Story of my ruttin' life!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 7:08 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Oh, do, Space...I love pix of people's pets! (and the people, but not as much)

...and you're a good daddy, you are, as well as a good person for rescuing her!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 7:16 AM

SPACEANJL

I'm a missus! I just have a bit of a Jayne-crush thing goin' on...

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 7:39 AM

FREMDFIRMA

Quote:
I've joked that if I could pet him with his food, that would be the only thing better than petting him while he eats.

Ghoster loves her food, one reason she's so big, and any time the bowl is less than half full she starts makin a fuss, but the funny part is that she absolutely HAS to get a chomp or two whenever I top off the bowl, cause that's NEW food, and she hasn't tasted it yet - despite the fact that I been feedin em the same stuff for years, one would think they knew what it tasted like by now, so she's just bein obnoxious is all.

Anyhows, the ex's cats got this one huge bowl, the trick to solving cat turf disputes is to give them ONE item too large for a single one to lay claim to and then it becomes communal property, plastic kiddy pool for litterbox, very large sofa, very large food bowl, no problems.

But, how exactly does one fill the food bowl, when Ghoster and Lexi have their little kitty heads stuffed in the friggin thing the minute they hear the bag get opened ?

Why, just pour it ANYWAY - just imagine that in your head, ok, two cats, black and white, nom-nom-nom, chomping merrily away, as the food pours from the bag bouncing off their little kitty heads, plink-plink-plink-plunk!
Yay, mana from heaven!chompchompchomp
They ain't exactly the sharpest pencils in the box, them two.

One of the strange things about my work is that I get along so well with the local wildlife it's a little creepy to the normals, I can tell someone is out and about just by watching their reactions, and I can tell you WHERE they are in a general sense besides - and the raccoons want my starlight mints.
I wondered what the heck the baby raccoon wanted when he came up to me like that, a bit uncommon behavior for wild raccoons, but apparently they like mint, and will raid campers tents to steal their toothpaste, so he smelled the starlight mints in my pocket and wanted some, little rogue.
I did get a pic of him last night but you can't see nothin but his eyes, alas.

And of course, the residents cats positively ADORE me, this is Nitwit, actual name of Corey, but I call him Nitwit cause he has utterly no sense of self-preservation and doesn't seem to get the hint when I keep pickin him up out of the middle of the street and putting him down on the sidewalk.

He's sweet as hell though, and will follow me to the limits of his turf for company - about a week ago my coming around the building distracted his prey and allowed him to make a one shot kill, so he comes up to me with this rather sizeable mouse in his jaws offering to share, I was touched, but politely declined, heh.

There's like, five-six cats which roam the site, four raccons, four bunnies, a dimwitted owl with a big mouth, two possums, a VERY fat red squirrel, a skunk wayyy back behind one of the buildings who've very territorial and much respected about that, and the occasional groundhog so damn big ya practically get wormsign off the bastards - those drive the maintainence guy friggin bonkers, mind.

So it's not like I am never lackin for company out there, and as a rule it's generally preferable to human company, least in my opinion.

-F

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 12:06 PM

MSA

We had a cat that, when he was a kitten, put a sock by the food dish and from then on he was convinced that a sacrifice of socks was required to provide food. He stole socks and developed a cache of them and each day he'd lay out a new one by the dish... which of course we put food in thus perpetuating his delusion

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 1:43 PM

PENGUIN

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time....

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Wednesday, September 2, 2009 2:34 PM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

I apologize, Space; you're a good MOMMY!

Frem, I agree with your opinion, and am envious of your wildlife--except that I'm a woos and would take all the "nonwild" in, and go bonkers worrying about Nitwit and cars!

On the other hand, thank you muchly for the best giggle of my day--several in fact. You, too, MSA.

Penguin, I have the cat one and don'tcha just love it? I'm gonna steal the dog one and add it to my collection, it's GREAT!

So I'll offer a giggle or two in return:

Rules of Etiquette for Inexperienced Cats

If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental rug. Shag is good!

Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the evening. He won't dare push you off and will even call you "nice kitty." If you can arrange to have cat food on your breath, so much the better.

For sitting on laps or rubbing against trouser legs, select colors which contrast with your own.

Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

For guests who say, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain, claws applied to stockings or a quick nip on the ankles.

Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can change your mind. When you have ordered an outside door opened, stand half in and half out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather or mosquito season.

If one person is busy and the other is idle, sit with the busy one. For book readers, get in close under the chin, unless you can lie across the book itself.

For ladies knitting, curl quietly into lap and pretend to dose. Then reach out and slap knitting needles sharply. This is what she calls a dropped stitch. She will try to distract you. Ignore it.

For people doing homework, sit on the paper being worked on. After being removed for the second time, push anything movable off the table -- pens, pencils, stamps -- one at a time.

Get enough sleep during the daytime so that you are fresh for playing at night between 2 & 4 a.m.

When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.

As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.

Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.

Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat

ONE LAST THOUGHT: Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, September 4, 2009 1:03 AM

PLAINJAYNE

Its official, then. My cat is the "Miss Manners" of the cat 'verse...

Day late an'a dollar short...Story of my ruttin' life!

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, September 4, 2009 6:27 AM

RIPWASH

Here's a semi-strange thing my cat does. I call it a "Pride" thing. My cat is normally aloof, as most cats often are. There are times when she wants to come sit with you and get her fix of human contact. Funny thing is that she doesn't actually sit in the strictest sense. She'll crawl up on one of us, situate herself in a laying position on one shoulder while leaving her hind legs in a standing position, butt up in the air. Very strange.

The "Pride" thing, however, is that other than what I talk about above, she keeps to herself. But at the end of the day, my wife and I usually end up laying on the floor while watching television. Inevitably, Dottie will come up and stretch out on the floor with us. Like we're her pride out in the wild or something. Doesn't matter if we have our drinks or snacks in front of us, she wants to be right there in the midst of it all and doesn't care what she knocks over in the process of making herself comfortable.

*********************************************

"It's okay! I'm a leaf on the wind!!!"
"What does that mean?!?!?!"

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, September 4, 2009 8:03 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

What a character! We had one "shoulder cat", too, my beloved Bebe. She LOVED to ride shoulders, often with her tail in the air (a balance thing maybe?) and other times would drape herself across your shoulder.

Cats definitely have their own individual personalities, we learned that right quick when we had so many of them.

I think you're right about the "pride" thing--initially I took it as the other definition, but now I know what you mean, I'll bet you pegged it. You're both down at her level, which might seem more like part of her pride. Neat kittie.

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Friday, October 2, 2009 10:36 PM

SPACEANJL

Our old cat disappeared one evening, and we were slightly freaked, until he sauntered in for breakfast.

A few days later, I met a neighbour, a one of a gang of students a few houses down. They had been watching telly and eating takeout when there was this battering and howling at the door. When one of them opened it, our cat strolled in. Four people ended up sitting on the floor of their own living room, while our cat took up the entire the sofa and demanded the choicest morsels from the take-out.

And they let him.

I still miss him.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Saturday, October 3, 2009 7:45 AM

NIKI2

Gettin' old, but still a hippie at heart...

Hee, hee, hee...kewl cat; he knew how to manipulate humans. One thing cats are excellent at!

________________________
Together we are greater than the sum of our parts

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Monday, October 5, 2009 4:43 PM

DREAMTROVE

Penguin,

lol

In my experience, cats do their utmost to leave the impression that when they go on their stroll they will be the cool cat about town. Ladies or Gentlecats will swoon, garbage cans will be conquered, the impossible fence will be strut upon with the greatest of ease, and mice will rue the day...

But in reality, they're sneaking over to Pine street to their *other* owner, who things that this is *their* cat, for a second dinner, more petting, and to see if they have any catnip.

NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, October 8, 2009 2:02 PM

PENGUIN

King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

Thursday, October 8, 2009 3:00 PM

MSA

This makes me think of my sister's cat Winne ( whom we mostly called Nam Kitty due to the flashbacks)
Calicos are sooooo weird

To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | TOP | HOME

YOUR OPTIONS

SHARE THREAD

NEW POSTS TODAY

USER

POST DATE