The Biggest Clichés in Movies/TV by cljohnston108

TALK STORY

The Biggest Clichés in Movies/TV

POSTED BY: CLJOHNSTON108
UPDATED: Monday, September 11, 2017 23:24
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Sunday, June 13, 2010 8:44 AM

CLJOHNSTON108

________________________

"Spry for a dead fella!"

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 9:35 AM

LWAVES

Well if you're going for the CSI's and cop shows in general one of the biggest ones is a character who utters the immortal line:

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Immediately you know that not only do they know exactly what you're talking about but also a lot more.

"The greatest invention ever is not the wheel. It's the second wheel." - Rich Hall

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 10:41 AM

CLJOHNSTON108

Quote:
Originally posted by lwaves:
Well if you're going for the CSI's and cop shows in general one of the biggest ones is a character who utters the immortal line:

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Immediately you know that not only do they know exactly what you're talking about but also a lot more.

Well, nobody's made one with "I don't know what you're talking about" yet, but thanks for reminding me about CSI (Miami)!

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 11:42 AM

CYBERSNARK

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 12:23 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST

The sound of police sirens approaching after the significant action has just taken place.

Cartoons - http://cirqusartsandmusic.blogspot.com

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 2:14 PM

CLJOHNSTON108

Okay, as long as we're at it, let's not forget the classics...

Things you would never know without the movies

• During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
• When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
• If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of year.
• All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to the waist level on the man lying beside her.
• The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.
• All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
• It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you down.
• The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place - no one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
• Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned to a partner who is their polar opposite.
• The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
• All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
• If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.
• You are very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
• Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language - a German accent will do.
• If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
• A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
• When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
• Kitchens don’t have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
• If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
• Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
• Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.
• All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
• A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK stadium.
• Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
• Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
• It is not necessary to say Hello or Good-bye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
• Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
- Corollary: While driving with a passenger and having a conversation, you may turn your head to look them in the eye for up to thirty seconds without fear of a collision.
• It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
• A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
• It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will patiently attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
• When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
• No-one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
• Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
• You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
• Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
• News bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment the television or radio is turned on.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 4:12 PM

BORIS

ha ha ha ha ha ha....tears streaming down face, facial muscles hurting from the strain...that is the funniest damn list I've read in a long time. Brilliantly put together.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010 11:16 PM

CLJOHNSTON108

Wish I knew who first compiled it. Like I said, it's a "classic" internet meme, like the "Evil Overlord" list that's been passed around through email for the past 15 years or so.
http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

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Monday, June 14, 2010 5:16 AM

DALILABA

PRICELESS!!! Thanks.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010 9:03 AM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Perhaps some of you have not viewed The Last Action Hero (1993), one of my faves which exposes many of the cliches. Predates most of these sources, perhaps inspired them.

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Thursday, September 25, 2014 7:42 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

The removal of the glasses swipe, to emphasize a line. Made fun of by Robert Stack in Airplane, and originated by Richard Anderson as Oscar Goldman in Six Million Dollar Man - he was tired one day of shooting and wearing shades to cover his eyes, and it became a trademark for the character.

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Thursday, September 25, 2014 9:40 PM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

Something I've seen quite often in the past few years, and it may have occurred before Silence of the Lambs, but that's the first instance of it I recall.

The cops are surrounding a house, and you see the people they are after in a house, and yet it turns out the cops are at the wrong house and no one is there. It happened again tonight on Haven.

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Monday, September 11, 2017 11:24 PM

JEWELSTAITEFAN

Quote:
Originally posted by JEWELSTAITEFAN:
The removal of the glasses swipe, to emphasize a line. Made fun of by Robert Stack in Airplane, and originated by Richard Anderson as Oscar Goldman in Six Million Dollar Man - he was tired one day of shooting and wearing shades to cover his eyes, and it became a trademark for the character.

Here is the post I was looking for, when Richard Anderson passed away last week.

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