When does this "getting old" thing stop getting old? by Stegasaurus

TALK STORY

When does this "getting old" thing stop getting old?

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POSTED BY: STEGASAURUS
UPDATED: Sunday, July 3, 2011 18:25
SHORT URL: http://bit.ly/lMPoSW
VIEWED: 8239
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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 4:54 AM

So last night, on my way upstairs while getting ready for bed, I tripped on my son's black diaper bag (it was dark, didn't see it) and fell UP the stairs. Pretty funny, no?

So then 10 minutes into being snuggled into bed feeling my back mildly tighten and listening to the rain, I realize I left the water on in the back yard, and the TV on in the garage. Down stairs I go, shut the water off and get caught up for a moment watching Jon Stewart. And then, on my way back up the stairs it happens AGAIN. Tripped on the same bag, but this time I REALLY wrench my back.

So now I'm laid up in bed with a heating pad, listening to the rain, growing on my iPad, watching TV and feeling old and useless (in a comical kinda way - not depressed). I can't believe I did it TWICE. And my wife thinks I'm an idiot for not moving the bag (except that I DID move the bag after the first time, which makes it all the more comically stupid).

Getting older and more forgetful as the days roll on blows.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 5:00 AM

HARDWARE

There are occasional moments of the silver lining. Like when you are trying to impart some hard won wisdom to a younger person who ignores your advice. You get to sit there and bask in the glow of your advanced age and knowledge as the chaos ensues.

Eating crow is good for the young.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics - RAH

...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 5:24 AM

ZEEK

Wait wait. You have a TV in your garage? That's impressive. Do you have one in the bathroom too? What about like linen closets?

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:45 AM

STEGASAURUS

Quote:
Originally posted by Zeek:
Wait wait. You have a TV in your garage? That's impressive. Do you have one in the bathroom too? What about like linen closets?

I have an iPad that goes everywhere with me, does that count?

There are no cars in the garage. It's my workshop. So I have one in there for background noise (news, music channels, etc.) for when I'm working in there. There's also a TV in the bonus room, dining room, family room and all 3 bedrooms. The living room is TV free, as we much prefer to light a fire in the fireplace and snuggle up while reading. With 4 kids, you find that many rooms (within reason) end up with TVs just to keep harmony when it's TV time and everyone likes something different.

-Steg

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 6:53 AM

ZEEK

Unimpressed. You gotta get at least two in each bathroom. One mounted behind the toilet for when you're standing and one mounted in front for when you're sitting. Optional third in the shower.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:19 AM

STEGASAURUS

Why waste the money when I can (and do) set the iPad on the back of the toilet when I'm standing, in my lap when sitting, and my wife reads hers when she's in the tub. Fairly certain my daughter does the same with hers.

-Steg

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 7:23 AM

STEGASAURUS

Double post. Bleh.

-Steg

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 10:05 AM

ZEEK

Why waste money + owning an ipad

Does not compute!

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 1:22 PM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

Should I worry that a guy who has a kid in diapers considers himself old? That was almost thirty years ago for me, and I was old for a new father then.

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 3:38 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Steg that story made me laugh out loud, none of this fake LOL stuff, but really laugh. I'm not laughing at the you-hurt-yourself part, just the you-tripped-over-the-same-thing-twice-and-its-a-diaper-bag thing. :)

Once I hit about 20 I saw no real point in getting older. Sure gaining more experience is always a good thing, but the getting _older part? I didn't see any point from then on.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 4:12 PM

NEWOLDBROWNCOAT

Dude, just think about the alternative: get a flower, lie on your back, fold your hands over your chest, put the flower on top. Wait a while. BORING!

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 4:57 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

I was thinkin more along the lines of Highlander/immortals/Nori and Orin. Your proposal does indeed sound "terrible dull"

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 5:30 PM

THESOMNAMBULIST

Steg.

That was funny. Very gentlemanly of you to share. You reminded me of that Laurel and Hardy sketch where they are both butlers for a very wealthy socialite who is holding a fancy dinner do.

Anyway they have these enormous elaborate dishes that they have to 'butle' from the kitchen to the dinning room. Only there's this Banana skin (which if I recall correctly Laurel deposited on the floor after eating the banana). Now I'm sure you know what happened next, but the really funny thing is that even after slipping on, said Banana skin, and landing face first into the roast or the cake or the jelly, they continue to just fling this banana skin in anger at one another instead of picking it up! and so continued the slapstick! It's incredibly funny, and you really brought that all back to me. So I laughed even more.

However comedy aside. Sorry about your back. Not pleasant back pains. Be well.

Cartoons - http://cirqusartsandmusic.blogspot.com

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Wednesday, June 29, 2011 8:05 PM

STEGASAURUS

Last time I pulled my back out was almost as comedic. Came running down the stairs to answer my wife's question (we don't yell across the house type thing) and stepped directly on one of Maddox's magnetic fridge letters. Pain immediately ensued and I missed my step. Trying to compensate, I stepped down wrong with my as yet undamaged leg, and my knee buckled backwards. No knee = no leg to support weight, so I started a neat little dive toward the dining room. At thismpoint, everything seemed to be going in slow motion, and I could plainly see I was heading for the corner edge of the table.

Using what I learned from the miriad Kung-Fu movies I've watched throughout my life, I decided to twist my body in such a way that would allow me to save myself great bodily harm. Of course, what goes through one's mind is not always what happens (and generally so for me). I wrenched my back something fierce, and managed to crack my mellon on the table leg. At least Maddox crawled over to me and gave me a hug and a couple pats on my back that time.

From that day on, I always shout my answer across the house.

As far as my age, don't base that on my child's age. Had my first daughter while I was in the Marine Corps over 20 years ago, and my second daughter 16 years ago. Maddox wasn't an "oops" baby, but I will admit that my wife and I hadn't expected the kind of physical drain it would be this time around.

Oh, and the iPads aren't wasteful at all. We have very specific uses for them, and mine is mostly for work (when I'm not laid up in bed). The multiple TVs around the house are an accumulation over 20+ years and instead of sending them to the landfill, I fix them and reuse them.

-Steg

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Thursday, June 30, 2011 6:39 PM

SERYN

If it helps, i've managed to go arse over tit twice in the last few weeks, both times involving steps. The first time wearing bed sock fer pitys sakes. Bustling down the stairs, my foot decided, with the socks full complicity, to go disappearing of the edge of the step and i descend the remaining five or so steps on my backside before hitting the wall at the bottom.
Marvellous thing being that this was ten minutes before I had to leave for a 7 hour journey on a National Express bus. Joy of Joys.

So bruised bum overcome, my next trick was to step out of the bathroom and find the only patch of water in the whole place and go sliding away. One foot ends up out in front wedged under the fridge (the nutjob who onwed the place before us decided it would be just fab to have the bathroom lead directly off the kitchen) other foot ends up behind me wedged knee to ankle under the welsh dresser and my back ends up thwacking the endwall that forms the storage nook.

My problem is I have to put it down to something but which is worse? Old age or terminal ineptitude?

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Friday, July 1, 2011 4:00 PM

KAREL

Flying on duct tape and a damaged registry.

At 37, I knew that I wasn't 20 anymore. At 43, I knew that I wasn't 30 anymore. At 49, I know I'm not 39 anymore. *extrapolates* This does not bode well. *snort*

"Whatever is wrong with you is so right for me." -- Marillion.

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Sunday, July 3, 2011 1:00 PM

CHRISISALL

Quote:
Originally posted by Stegasaurus:
Had my first daughter while I was in the Marine Corps over 20 years ago

That explains your sense of humour over this- normal folk get sad & angry over accidents like the stairs thing you describe- Marines & kung-fu peeps can goof on it.

I've had a bad back since my teens, so when it hurts today, I feel YOUNG!!!!

My advice: take the stairs two at a time; this will satisfy your need to go quickly, but will increase your awareness of each step in case of kid junk. It's also good exercise.