Immortals - Meh! by SHINYGOODGUY

CINEMA

Immortals - Meh!

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POSTED BY: SHINYGOODGUY
UPDATED: Thursday, November 17, 2011 15:13
SHORT URL: http://bit.ly/vNqS9x
VIEWED: 3236
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Wednesday, November 16, 2011 11:05 AM

SHINYGOODGUY

The trailers for this movie had me excited; The producers were of "300" fame; The FX looked awesome; I was juiced to see Theseus kick butt. Nothing like a good sword and sandal epic (see Gladiator). But the script lay there soulless and uninspiring to what could have been this Fall's surprise hit.

Mickey Rouke as King Hyperion was the film's villian and even he didn't quite hit the mark. The King was supposed to be this badass, but somehow he didn't seem menacing enough. There were plenty of action sequences throughout, but director Tarsem Singh kept pulling the chain on the pacing of the movie by placing long drawn-out scenes with long-winded dialogue depicting character motivations. Plenty of blood-letting and head chopping to delight the more action-oriented among us, but just as you got excited about the latest battle, Singh brought the pace to a screeching halt. I kept thinking "ok, now it's going to pick up" but Singh had other plans.

It was a beautiful film to look at, much like paintings you would see at the museum, and almost as static. The CGI landscapes were works of art (there goes that sentiment again) and were awe-inspiring from the mere scope and scale of the Greek cliffside village to the jaw-dropping vistas of Mt. Olympus. There was plenty for the eyes to see, but little else to fuel our imaginations and sense of wonder. The lead actor, Cavill as Theseus (the new Superman due out in 2012), had good presence and was very convincing. Stephen Dorff almost stole the show as the wise-cracking thieve Stavros. He was the comic relief and had the film's best lines. The best of the battles, and the best sequence of the movie, was the final battle scene between the Gods and the Titans (watch Athena folks, she's good), but it wasn't quite enough to save this movie. BTW Freida Pinto and Henry Cavill do the horizontal mambo about halfway through the film (it did little to "spice" things up and little to move the story along), but she does have a smoking body.

P.S. There were some unintended laughs at the expense of the Greek gods. It seems that they had helmets designed by the same people who brought you Buster Grabbe's Flash Gordon and the 1920's classic film Metropolis.

All in all, I give this movie 2 out of 5 stars. Wait for the video and save your dough.

SGG

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011 2:18 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

How can she have a smokin hot body if she's a CGI thing and not an actual person? Just asking. The story sounds fun but too much CGI bores me often. I wish movies were made at real locations with real crowds for epic war scenes etc. Those were the days. I was able to look past it for 300 and the occasional other, this might be manageable since its the Greek hero stuff again and that's pretty fun no matter how you slice it. But yeah, totally waiting for the video to come out.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011 6:43 PM

TWO

The Joss Whedon script for Serenity, where Wash lives, is Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/folder/1uwh75oa407q8/Firefly

Quote:
Originally posted by SHINYGOODGUY:
All in all, I give this movie 2 out of 5 stars. Wait for the video and save your dough.

"Immortals is without doubt the best-looking awful movie you will ever see.” - Roger Ebert giving it 1½ stars and 2 thumbs down.
http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20111109/REV
IEWS/111119998

The Joss Whedon script for "Serenity," where Wash lives, is
Serenity-190pages.pdf at www.mediafire.com/two

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 7:06 AM

STORYMARK

Saw it last night. Very pretty, but also pretty slight in the story department.

Still, I liked it a hell of a lot more than the cheese-tastic 300 or the crappy Clash of the Titan remake.

"Goram it kid, let's frak this thing and go home! Engage!"

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 7:09 AM

STORYMARK

Quote:
Originally posted by RionaEire:
How can she have a smokin hot body if she's a CGI thing and not an actual person?

Uh.... whaaaat???

Freida Pinto - She is an actual human, flesh and blood and everything.

What are you on? Just asking.

And the days of huge sets and massive crowd scenes are over for all but the biggest budgets (this was made for almost half of the cost of Clash of the Titans, for instance) - too expensive in a day with too much competition.

Most of the sets in Immortals were real, it's just the huge vistas that were CG, as those landscapes just don't exist.

"Goram it kid, let's frak this thing and go home! Engage!"

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 7:31 AM

BYTEMITE

I can see where she might have misunderstood or gotten the wrong impression. Your explanation will probably have helped.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011 3:13 PM

RIONAEIRE

Beir bua agus beannacht

Yes, his explanation did help. Those CGI things confuse me a lot, I don't understand them.

"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya

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