please oh please help me procrastinate!! by shinykitten

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please oh please help me procrastinate!!

POSTED BY: SHINYKITTEN
UPDATED: Thursday, September 7, 2006 03:24
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VIEWED: 2110
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Monday, September 4, 2006 3:35 PM

ARGH.
I REALLY don't want to do the work that i have to. Don't even want to think about it. I'm just wandering around here, desperating procrastinating...

My piles of notes and stuff are looking at me reproachfully...No! no, i will not start my stupid report! I DON'T CARE that this is due tomorrow! I will be strong in my procrastination.

stupid report...why the hell did i think doing my Masters degree was a good idea?!
silly silly little Kitten!

oh, yes, uni is all good until you realise they actually want you to do WORK and not just any work, but HARD and COMPLICATED work, requiring actual functioning brain cells and lots of time and effort. And its worse when you're postgrad, cause then they actually expect you to hand stuff in and be all knowledgable and really try to achieve good grades for the work.

BAH! i say! BAH!! i defy you, piles of work due!

GRRR.....ARGGHH

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Monday, September 4, 2006 3:41 PM

CYBERSNARK

Hey, school's supposed to prepare you for what is naively called the "real world," and in the real world, you get help for stuff. That's what Consultants are for.

So, what's the report on?

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Monday, September 4, 2006 3:59 PM

SHINYKITTEN

Heya.
A good point, but unfortunately i'm studying to become the consultant that other people call in! you know, in situations where the people are like, 'OMG! how the hell do you work this database? we just lost all our online files! Argh! find a information manager person!' and then they would call me in to try to reason with the database into giving them back their files...

but you could be my consultant! how much do you know about database design and construction??

the report is supposed to about a database i've built. i'm supposed to go through my rationale and design choices, basically explain why i built it the way i did.
although i don't think 'because it was the easiest and fastest way, and i didn't actually look at the relevent literature' would be the best way to pass.
its only 1500 words, which is pretty small, so i can do it in a couple of hours, its just that I DON'T WANT TO!

GRRR.....ARGGHH

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Monday, September 4, 2006 5:43 PM

DREAMWALKER

LOL, time for the fine art of BS, something that has gotten me through many a report (that a whole bunch of coffee, lol) Good luck with the report!

"You're talking to Serenity. And Early...Serenity is very unhappy."

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Monday, September 4, 2006 5:47 PM

PHOENIXROSE

You think you know--what's to come, what you are. You haven't even begun.

Well, I've got a little sign for your frustration and entertainment...

Virtue is persecuted more by the wicked than it is loved by the good. - Gautama Siddharta

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Monday, September 4, 2006 6:15 PM

SHINYKITTEN

tehehehehe...thanks people!
that sign ROCKS!!

GRRR.....ARGGHH

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Monday, September 4, 2006 9:54 PM

BERNARDBROWNCOAT

procrastinating, you? never!

to aid in said procrastination i offer two beacons of light.
1) Fear Factory in 11 days
2) Black books. your free quote is;

"Fran: (completely drunk) I'll mind the shop for you! I can be both of you. (Pretending to be Manny) "Bernard. Bernard. It's not fair. Bernard, here's your tea. Oh Bernard, Bernard, can I have my pocket money?" (Pretending to be Bernard) "Oh Manny, for the last time, shut up! Mother of god! I think I'm going to kill you!"

Simon: Captain, why did you come back for us?
Mal: You're on my crew.
Simon: Yeah, but you don't even like me. Why'd you come back?
Mal: You're on my crew... Why we still talking about this?

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Monday, September 4, 2006 10:03 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Too bad I didn't get to this blog when you called for help, but I was busy procrastinating. I am, afterall, the procrastinating king. I'm on the 10 year program for my Associates Degree. Congrats on that Masters. School blows and is completely unnessacery for 80% of the people who go. It leaves them delivering pizzas for a living with debt they will take 20 years or more to pay off. Hope you're not one of em! Get that paper done or you will be.

Hows that for consulting?

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 2:53 AM

SHINYKITTEN

gee thanks 6ixStringJack! nothing like envisioning the results of failure for motivation. you are a great consultant!
(i wont get debt cause i'm making my parents pay for it! although i do have to pay for a subject if i fail it, but that hasnt happened yet.)

hey BernardBrown, does the whole going to uni to end up being a pizza delivery guy sound like someone we know!? cough...dave..cough...

BernardBrown, don't you mock me, boy! but thankyou for the quote, its a great one! and...we...are...going...to...fear factory...in...11...days!!! wooohoooo!!

its ok though, i kinda finished my stuff...my database is pretty suck-y and my report is COMPLETE crap, absolute bollocks. but hey, i've handed in crap before and still passed!!

GRRR.....ARGGHH

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 5:27 AM

CYBERSNARK

Quote:
Originally posted by shinykitten:
'because it was the easiest and fastest way,

You determined that speed and efficiency were desirable qualities, and proceeded to implement a system that reflected these characteristics.

Quote:
and i didn't actually look at the relevent literature'

You felt that the situation called for a creative approach, unhindered by previous context-specific judgements. To this end, you adopted a policy of direct confrontation with difficult elements without regard to prior documentation. This establishes (and serves as a demonstration of) your own ability to solve problems, rather than your ability to conform to preconceived notions.

(How d'you think I got my English Honours B.A.?

)

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 7:01 AM

MSG

Just remember swift ,effective lying is best for all reports!! It sucks getting it, but it's worth it.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 8:28 AM

ECGORDON

There's no place I can be since I found Serenity.

I would help, but it will have to wait for later.

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 3:06 PM

RMMC

While after 17 years I still haven't gotten around to joining the Procrastinaters Club (yes, it really does exist) I see myself as a very promising candidate.

I'll see what I can do to help you, but I'll have to think about it and then get back to you on it.

******
RMMC

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 7:00 PM

FLORALBUNNY

cybersnark wrote in part:
You felt that the situation called for a creative approach, unhindered by previous context-specific judgements. To this end, you adopted a policy of direct confrontation with difficult elements without regard to prior documentation. This establishes (and serves as a demonstration of) your own ability to solve problems, rather than your ability to conform to preconceived notions.

(How d'you think I got my English Honours B.A.? )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This evokes images of Dilbert. And Dogbert. Delicious.

bun on the run

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Tuesday, September 5, 2006 10:31 PM

6IXSTRINGJACK

Quote:
Originally posted by shinykitten:
gee thanks 6ixStringJack! nothing like envisioning the results of failure for motivation. you are a great consultant!

I think you misunderstand my intentions here. I'm trying to motivate you by saying that if you fail or even if you pass and coast, you could be a WalMart greeter for a while. A degree alone means nothing if you don't have other assets. For example, where I'm working now (recall I don't even have an associates degree yet), I work with my brother who has a bachleor's degree, 2 other guys with a bachleor's degrees and even a guy that has a master's. Because I have the most seniority out of all of us by a year, I'm actually ahead of them by one years worth of cost of living increases. (Assuming they didn't get hired for more than I did). I am actually paid very well considering the national average for males who don't have an associates. My coworkers, on the otherhand do not meet the national average pay for the schooling they have. This is no fault of their own. None of them are stupid, unbearable to work with or so hideous that they scare people away. The job market sucks now and you gotta settle sometimes if you didn't really go the extra mile at college. Too many kids build up $30,000+ on their credit card debt on top of their education costs thinking they'll be working that $75,000+ job that their parents have right out of the gates and in the real world, that just ain't how it works. This isn't their fault totally.... I think they probably get that impression from their favorite TV shows or movies. This notion that they won't have any problems finding a good job out of college when the fact is, a majority of them are going back home to live with the 'rents and delivering pizza.

A degree would have done nothing for me because, although I believe I'm a genius, I have basically zero drive to excel. I'm the king of coast, and if that's your thing, it's really not a bad place to be as long as you're ahead financially. Seems like you'll do okay as long as you pass and your parents are flipping the bill. Just stay out of debt and you can procrastinate like me to your heart's content. It's so much more enjoyable when you don't have the credit card

holes calling you up all the time and interuppting your

-off time. Trust me, I've been there. I just paid off all my bills about a year ago and now I've saved up about 4 months expenses and have a decent amount in my retirement accounts. I can't afford to buy a new $30,000 car (of course I could put myself into debt for 5 years and take out a loan), but I don't care. As long as I'm a minimalist, I can just keep coasting and saving with my modest paying job, and I can laugh at all those kids that have their Psychology degrees and $60,000 in college debt and find themselves living in their parent's basements.

Get your ass to work now girl.

"A government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned." http://www.myspace.com/6ixstringjack

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Thursday, September 7, 2006 3:24 AM

ODDSBODSKINS

Quote:
Originally posted by RMMC:
While after 17 years I still haven't gotten around to joining the Procrastinaters Club (yes, it really does exist) I see myself as a very promising candidate.

hihihihihihihi.

_______
jailbait.

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