Laughter…happy, light, make you warm all over laughter…but he wasn’t payin’ any attention…not to Mal’s hairbrained story about how Zoe and him barely escaped getting their asses in a bind with their one of their former Platoon Commanders (how many damn stories could they possibly have left to tell?) or even Kaylee’s sob story about her folks and how she missed them. All Jayne could watch was Sonja…how she was sitting there, her eyes trying desperately to avoid meeting his, the rest of the crew in the dark about what had transpired on the couch between them some few feet away. Don’t think bout’ it…jus’ makin’ things worse is all…jus makin’ things worse. Jayne told himself. Twiddling his protein grindage in front of him with his fork, Jayne sat silently while the others continued their warm and cozy conversation, hardly noticing his apparent lack of feedback to add. “Kaylee…do you ever…wish you were doing something else? Closer to your family?” Book asked her then. “What? And not be able to be with Serenity?” Kaylee exclaimed, hurt filling her voice. “Of course not!” “That’s cuz she’s got the Doc here…why would she wanna go cryin’ home to Mommy and Daddy when she can be with Mr-I-Haven’t-Got-A-Clue-That-Kaylee’s-Tits-Are-Always-Near-My-Face? Sounds like a damn fair trade to me.” Jayne shot up then, giving his usual nasty scowl at Simon. The laughter that was flying so gallantly overhead was put to a fiery death immediately as everyone fixed their shocked glazes in Jayne’s direction. Forks dropped onto plates and eyes were wide at the sheer nastiness of Jayne’s remark towards one of the few people he actually treated with some amount of normal human feeling. Throwing his fork down in front of him, it hit the plate with a loud angry clink! as Jayne grabbed the napkin he had tucked into his shirt as a makeshift bib and threw that down next to it. Standing up and without another word, Jayne headed to the doorway and walked out. “Tyen shiao duh!” Wash exclaimed then, shaking his head, alarmed. “What the hell was that about? One minute he’s sitting there quiet as a lamb and the next he’s about to ring someone’s neck out! Is it that time of the month or am I just not being clued into something here?” “When isn’t it Jayne’s time of the month?” Inara piped up then. “Well at least he saved the Capt’n the trouble of having to remove him from the table.” Zoe said nonchalantly. Wash agreed. She did have a point there. Looking at Mal, Wash said, “Yeah, but you do so enjoy that, don’t you Mal? Having to threaten to sew Jayne’s lips shut every evening at dinner? I mean, it’s sort of become the thing to look forward to.” “Well to be honest with ya’ll, I’m gettin’ real tired of this.” Mal replied, looking at the doorway, knowing what he had to do. * * * * * They had too much cargo. It was stacked everywhere. Crates and crates of precious, ancient Buddha statues dating back to the Ming dynasty. Jayne figured he would probably be the one loading everything up when they touched down. It didn’t really bother him too much, but it just always seemed Mal always gave the shit jobs to him. Priceless, that’s what Mal and everyone had called them but Jayne didn’t give a hooha if they were from the Ming or whatever the hell dynasty…it was money…A LOT of money. And when they reached Lanai, the goods would be delivered and Jayne would be overjoyed. What else was there in life? Overlooking the cargo from above, Jayne stood, his hands slightly being vibrated by the metal railing he had them resting on from the power of Serenity’s engine propelling the ship through the blackness. Surveying the crates, Jayne figured it had to of been one of the most expensive jobs they had ever done, besides the job they had pulled off on Ariel when Simon had his brainchild to steal all those meds. Somehow, they always managed to come through with this job or that…they always managed to come out smellin’ like a rose… But the glorious feeling of being all the more wealthy in a two days did nothing to settle Jayne’s uneasiness of what was really nawing at him…what had nawed at him all day… …that frightened look…covering her face…as if she thought… “Jayne!” Turning around, he saw Mal coming up next to him, an enraged I’m-Gonna-Sew-Your-Lips-Shut-Jayne look plastered cleanly on him. “You wanna tell me what the hell jus’ got into you where you needed to have that pi hua slide out of your hole you call a mouth?” Mal spat at him, his brown eyes ready to throw lightening bolts from them in any minute. Jayne shrugged his muscular, broad shoulders, turning back around to stare out at the cargo below. “Got out of hand…that’s all.” Jayne replied sourly. “I’ve had it up to here, Jayne…” Mal said then, bringing his hand up to his own forehead. “with your gettins out of hand…you wanna walk round’ this boat with a chip on your shoulder, then that’s your business…but I’ll be good gor’am if your gonna take it out on everyone else on this here boat, ya’ hear me?” “Aw come on, Mal!” Jayne whined then. “I said it was jus’ a lil mistake.” Getting right up in front of him, Mal replied, “No, Jayne…you didn’t… you never say you made a mistake…that word must not be able to have a way to take shape in that feeble brain of yours apparently.” Having had enough, Mal turned around, not wanting to hear another peep out of him, no more excuses, no more smart mouth comments because if he heard even one little… “You ever make a mistake…you know…make a mistake…and then…then…not know how…to fix it?” Jayne said then, his voice low. Mal turned around, eyeing Jayne with surprise. “Everyone makes mistakes…and everyone can try and fix em’…may not take care of em’…but they can try.” Mal replied simply. “Yeah…but what if…you’re not sure…like you don’t know…how ta do it?” Jayne asked. “Sayin’ sorry is a good one for starters, Jayne…nuthin better than hearin’ a genuine sorry.” Mal replied. “Sorry?” Jayne said, more or less repeating it to himself. Sorry…like he had never been before…after he had seen her run away from him like that… “Whatever’s troublin’ ya, Jayne…you’s best be takin’ care of it…don’t want it to comsume you.” Mal said then, studying Jayne’s face for any tall tale signs of breaking. * * * * * * It wasn’t restful…even peaceful…more like lightness with an underlying bout of anxiety to it… Tossing and turning this way and that…Jayne struggled to get himself comfortable, the air still arctic mad around him. The sooner that thermostat coil was replaced, the better. People ain’t supposed to have their privates all freezing up on them like this…Jayne thought then. Wrapping himself as tight as he could get it, Jayne huddled into his blank, his eyes starting their decent into lala land when… A noise. Knocking. “It’s Sonja.” Springing up like a fire had been lit underneath him, Jayne hurriedly flipped the light on the wall on, illuminating the messiness of his room and the arsenal he had so carefully hidden. Vera sat, waiting to show her worth yet again, all the other guns being safely at home, for now. Before he could return a reply, Jayne heard the door being opened as the ladder dropped down to his quarters. And in a blink of an eye, Sonja was making her way down, an exotic goddess of splendor making her way into his personal space. Jayne took a step backwards, almost tripping on whatever he had hidden behind pile #4, not wanting to go anywhere near her. Looking around the floor of his quarters, he sighed then, slightly embarrassed. There had never been a reason before to worry about how it looked, it’s not like he was going to be bringing all the honeys back to his pad anyways, so why bother picking up? “Is it okay…if I talk to you?” Sonja asked him. “Well…yeah…since you’re standin’ there…and since you’re already here…down here…we can…talk.” Jayne stammered taking notice how she wasn’t wearing his coat this time. “Last night...,” Sonja started. “Last night…I…,” She stopped, her voice trailing off, her words stuck in whatever hole they had been thrown into. Now it was her turn to pull an Inara move as she nervously fiddled with her hands, her eyes averting with Jayne’s. “I just…” Okay, this is it…Jayne said to himself then, remembering Mal’s words from earlier. “It wasn’t you, Sonja…I made a mistake…duibuqi.” Jayne said softly. Sitting on his bunk, Jayne rubbed his head with his one hand and then gave Sonja another long look, his blue eyes sweeping over her. “Duibuqi.” He said again to her. Without hesitation, Sonja came over to him and sat, a wave of silence filling in around them. “I…um…,” Sonja began, breaking the silence finally. When I had been a Companion…I…had been taught…many things…I was amazed…manners…politics…philosophy…it was our grooming.” Jayne kept his eyes on her as he kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt. “Well…afterwards…after all of that…there were clients, of course…wealthy clients…” “Wealthy’s good.” Jayne added Sonja half returned his smile as Jayne put his head down, embarrassed by his outburst. “There was a young man…he was meticulous…in everything he did, how he dressed, how he spoke…and he was so well versed on so many subjects…I looked forward to seeing him just for the conversations we had…he was the governer’s son on Orpheus…and his family name was well respected…,” Sonja stopped again and took a deep breath in, exhaling slowly. “Well, after time…he wanted to see me exclusively…and when I told him I couldn’t…he got very angry…I couldn’t go anywhere without him following me…so I had the Guild bar him to which they did…but…two months after I had them do that…he came to where I had lived…,” Pausing again, Sonja took another deep breath in and continued. “He held me captive…for three days…said that if he was not going to be the one for me, then he was going to make it so that no man could be,” Sonja said, her voice trembling, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Afterwards…the doctors…they told me I wouldn’t be able to bear children…because of him…because of…,” “Hwoon dahn!” Jayne spat out then, feeling every muscle in his body start to tighten and his blood start boiling… “They hung him, didn’t they? They tortured him…after what he did to you?” Jayne asked, his voice laced with heated anger, his fists clenched at the thought of it all. Sonja shook her head no. “His family bought his freedom…paid for him to walk free…because I was nothing but property in their eyes.” Shooting a crazed glance at Vera, Jayne turned back to Sonja, the wheels in his brain a spinnin’…he could make that duh liou mahng suffer…oh could he ever…it would be the most horrific thing any human being would know…he could find new ways of happy torture to where no one would ever find a body…no one would ever know…hell, if he propositioned it right, Jayne was guessin’ he could bring Mal and they could both peel the skin off him with delight… “I could do it…I could skin him alive for ya…slowly…watch him howl as I cut out his eyeballs and shove them…,” Jayne started, his speech coming out fast and hurried. “That’s over…I can’t dwell on that.” Sonja replied. “I can.” Jayne told her. “Jayne…,” Sonja said, putting her hand on his knee. “I like you…you’re very up front…you don’t hide your words…you say what you have to…you don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.” “My momma always said I had a grand personality! Always bringin’ sunshine to someone…,” Jayne beamed proudly. Giggling, Sonja said, “If you say so…” “Hey, don’t be messin’ with me girl, ya hear?” Jayne said to her, trying to lighten up the mood, trying to get those tears to dry…it ate him up…to see her like that…to know what she had been through… “I wanted you to know all what I just told you because ever since that…I haven’t felt safe…I wake up in the middle of the night all the time…I can’t shake that feeling off…but with you…it’s different.” Sonja said. Taking his hand to hold in hers, Sonja stared deeply at him, her face serious. “I feel safe with you, Jayne.” “Well…now…I’m glad…would have no trouble keeping ya that way, you know…I got lots of guns…,” Jayne replied. Rolling up his shirt sleeve, to show off his perfectly chiseled biceps, he said proudly, “And the muscle to…to…you know…squash someone’s head…not that I’ve squashed someone’s head in…it’s been a long time…I mean…,” Sonja laughed then, putting her fingers to his lips. “Will you let me? Stay here…with you…tonight?” she asked him quietly. “Aw, girl…come on…I ain’t no choirboy…that would just be plain mean, Sonja…mean!” Jayne exclaimed. “You want me to leave, then?” she asked. “Well I ain’t sayin’ that.” Jayne quickly said. “Good,” Sonja replied with a happy, relieved smile. “I’m bunkin’ with you tonight.” * * * * * * “So what happened?” Sonja asked Jayne. They were sitting together on his bunk, Sonja leaning up against his chest, his arms pulled tightly around her. “Mal pulled it off…he was buck naked…but he pulled it off.” Jayne said, recanting the tale of Saffron’s ploy when she had left him sitting on a rock in the desert, naked as all get up. “Buck naked? Like naked, naked?” Sonja squealed. “Yeah…and that ain’t a sight I wanna see…Mal all naked like that….ugh!...I offered to get naked once…but no one really dug into that one.” Jayne said. Turning her body around, Sonja faced him then. Noticing the odd look Jayne was giving her then, she asked, “What is it, Jayne? Is something wrong?” He pointed to the jade necklace she was wearing. “I jus ain’t never seen a trinket like that before…might purdy, tho.” Jayne said. He had seen jade before, hadn’t everyone? But never blue jade like that, and with all the gold sprinkled in it? Sonja put her hand protectively over it. “It was my mother’s…there’s a legend that says blue jade was forged in the heat of the sun and that when it was ready to be made and brought down to man, it was turned blue…and that giving it to someone will always ensure their heart is with you.” Sonja explained. Yawning, Sonja leaned back on Jayne’s bunk and stretched herself out. “Thank you, for letting me stay here with you, tonight…tomorrow we’ll be landing on Lanai I’m told.” Sonja said then. Getting up, Jayne grabbed his most prized possession, Vera. Turning off the light on the wall, he walked back over to Sonja. Her body was facing the wall and she had curled herself up in his blanket and all Jayne could think about was how that blanket was going to smell long after she stepped off the ship… Not having the heart to disturb her, Jayne grabbed piles #1,2, and 3 and spread them out to make the floor as comfortable as he could. Laying down, on his back, Jayne laid Vera carefully next to him…just in case he should need it to do any safe keepin’ in the night….

TO BE CONTINUED. Chinese/English Translation within text: duibuqi - I'm sorry