In the garden, and RAIN!!!! by SIGNYM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
We've been lucky in BC this year. Fire season hasn't been too bad. Few places were on evac notice but after a few weeks those were pulled as everything was under control.

There's been snow up around Fort Nelson which is the Northeastern corner of the province.

Not suppose to be a lot of rain if it shows up down here.

As I recall last fire season was pretty bad.

So rain's headed south to you but just a bit of it ...

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 3:42 AM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

regarding the two big earthquakes a few weeks back ...

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-08-19/earthquakes-foresh
ocks-seismology-new-study

Scientists finally know how big earthquakes start: With many smaller ones

By Rong-Gong Lin IIStaff Writer
Aug. 20, 2019
3 PM

The vast majority of earthquakes we feel come soon after smaller ones, according to new research that provides unprecedented insights into how seismology works.

Sometimes days or even weeks before most temblors of at least magnitude 4.0, scientists have found, smaller ones start rippling beneath the Earth’s surface — activity that can be detected thanks to an advanced computing technique.

“One of the biggest questions in earthquake seismology is how earthquakes get started,” said the study’s lead author, Daniel Trugman, a seismologist at Los Alamos National Laboratory.

Previously, scientists observed that only half of all moderate quakes had smaller precursor events. This new study of earthquakes in Southern California of at least magnitude 4 between 2008 and 2017 found that at least 72% of them followed less-powerful quakes. “Elevated foreshock activity is pervasive in Southern California,” the study concluded.

“It is surprising,” said study coauthor Zachary Ross, an assistant professor of geophysics at Caltech. “It’s important for understanding the physics of earthquakes. Are they silent until this big event? Or is there a weakening process of the fault, or some evidence that the fault is changing before this larger event?”

The study shows the answer is likely the latter explanation.

The discovery gives scientists a better understanding about how earthquakes are generated.

Knowing that even moderate quakes probably occur after a series of less-powerful ones gives added weight to the idea that earthquake sequences can grow, not unlike a spreading disease epidemic. In fact, the study shows the foreshock sequences ranged from starting three days to 35 days ahead of the mainshock.

The finding doesn’t mean we should suddenly be worried about small quakes. Statistically speaking, only 5% of earthquakes are followed up by something worse. It also doesn’t mean researchers are any closer to predicting the exact timing and epicenters of big earthquakes.

“The vast majority of time that you have an earthquake,” Ross said, “even if you see anomalous activity start up, it’s going to die down on its own — that’s most of the time.”

But understanding how quakes get bigger can only help scientists get better at aftershock forecasting. That would help the public understand when there’s a greater risk, such as when the chance of a large quake rises from a background risk of 1-in-10,000 odds to 1-in-1,000 odds, based on a previous quake.

“We are definitely moving toward forecasting that is statistical in nature,” Trugman said.

The discovery could also help improve the speed of earthquake early warning systems, Ross said. If the computer has detected microquakes close to a major fault, and knows that most major quakes are preceded by smaller foreshocks, that can help speed up the decision by the system to issue a warning in the moments after an earthquake has begun rupturing along a fault.

The breakthrough in the study, published earlier this summer in the journal Geophysical Research Letters, was made possible by the discovery of a new technique to find very small earthquakes — quakes as small as magnitudes 0 and 1, and some as small as magnitude negative 2.

(Quakes can now have negative magnitudes because this new technique allows for observation of quakes so small they were previously thought to be undetectable.)

Having a higher-definition look now allows scientists to detect many more foreshocks.

“This new information is coming from the tiniest magnitude events that were basically invisible before,” Ross said.

For the study, Trugman and Ross focused on 46 of the largest quakes in Southern California between 2008 and 2017 (while excluding those that were aftershocks of other larger events). They found that 33 of the 46 had a statistically significant jump in foreshocks compared with the normal rate of earthquakes for that area.

They discovered a particularly lengthy foreshock sequence preceding the magnitude 5.1 La Habra earthquake of March 2014. There were foreshocks in the magnitude 0 and 1 range as early as 17 days ahead of the mainshock.

The 2010 Easter Sunday magnitude 7.2 earthquake widely felt in Southern California was not included in the analysis, because its epicenter was in Baja California. But that earthquake was preceded by a notable foreshock sequence.

The scientists could not determine a specific pattern to the foreshocks that would lead to a magnitude 4 or greater quake. Sometimes, it would appear as a burst of quakes near what would become the mainshock epicenter days or hours later. Other times, it would appear as a widespread increase in the earthquake rate in the general area before the mainshock.

They also found that shallower mainshocks tended to have more foreshocks, as do areas with higher heat flow, such as around the Coso Volcanic Field in Inyo County and the Salton Sea, which are warmed by magma.

The results help solve a long mystery that earthquake scientists had not been able to explain. In lab experiments where scientists would simulate earthquakes with sensitive equipment, there would always be small earthquakes that came before the main quake. “It’s never just silent until the final failure,” Ross said of the lab earthquakes.

The results suggest that it’s possible that all moderate and large quakes are preceded by something smaller, but getting to that conclusion would require more studies.

“It’s hard to imagine this huge fault that stays completely silent until a single point just happens to start failing,” Ross said. “Physically, that seems a little difficult to imagine.”

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 12:35 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1kiki:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
We've been lucky in BC this year. Fire season hasn't been too bad. Few places were on evac notice but after a few weeks those were pulled as everything was under control.

There's been snow up around Fort Nelson which is the Northeastern corner of the province.

Not suppose to be a lot of rain if it shows up down here.
As I recall last fire season was pretty bad.

So rain's headed south to you but just a bit of it ...

Fire season was Kiki. And last year or the year before was the big fire up at Fort McMurray which is in Alberta that practically took out the whole town.

Rain arrived during the night. Woke up to a soggy morning and about to head out in it.

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 1:24 PM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

I remember Fort McMurray! I saw three extremely creepy/god-awful videos from it (the camera that broadcast the living room as the home got swallowed up by fire, the porch fire that .would. not. die., and the fire creeping to a pickup in a line of cars trying to evacuate out) and they're still stuck like glue in my brain.

Here in SoCal we used to have a fire season, but now they say it's year-round. Last calendar year here was so-so for fires, but the northern half of Calif got clobbered. So far we're not doing too badly!! YAY!! They were saying that because of the previous '18-19 good winter rain season

we'd have a bumper crop of dried grasses and weeds just waiting to burn. SO FAR ... not yet. Maybe because the air's been pretty humid. Though it'll start getting trickier once the dry Santa Ana's start blowing to offshore from the desert, which usually starts in October.

As much as I love the rain, you reminded me of how I hate being out and about in soggy weather.

I think I remember you do, too. So stay dry ... And warm!

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 3:42 PM

Another morning another box of stuff sorted through. Real sentimental stuff this time, so it took hours to go through even though I didn't stop to read most of it. Lot's of great photos I'd forgotten I had even had. About half of it is trash though, so that's good.

Need to sort through those 3 boxes I was talking about to pull out the 4 things I know I want to keep so I can get rid of the rest. It's a crystal glass set with golden trim. It was used in an episode of Killjoys and I know I recently saw it in a movie too. Shame to get rid of it, but I'm not going to bother with trying to sell it, my brother can't take any more stuff with his own hoard and it's got no sentimental value to me. Just a bunch of crap I don't need in boxes I don't want to keep anymore.

Probably going to put my patio furniture set out tonight. My friend is deciding right now if he wants it or not.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 8:27 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

At this end, I guess my status could be considered "making progress on all fronts" ... or maybe "running in place" ... it's a little hard to tell!

Time is so divided up, doesn't help that hubby derails things. Got kinda testy with him this afternoon when I was trying to figure out the Medicare maze and he kept wandering around the room bitching about this that and a third thing. As it turns out the Medicare software threw up some weird error that I couldn't get past, so I had to call. On hold for 45 minutes, then they hung up. Called again, on hold another 45 minutes and didn't get a resolution, just an appointment for ANOTHER phone call two weeks from now which may or may not resolve the problem.

Wrong insurance billed on something else, so I got a whopping $1000 bill. On top of all that, despite sinus surgery I have ANOTHER sinus infection confirmed by doctor today. I hope the culture shows something easy like staph, and not pseudomonas since that will require IV antibiotics.

But onward thru the fog! as they say.

Managed to get one stripe painted on one wall to see how the technique goes, won't know till I pull off the painter's tape, plus we got and tested the angle grinder so I think we have all the tools and materials needed for stucco patching. Now, if I could only put together 3 or 4 contiguous hours I might actually get something effing accomplished.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Wednesday, August 21, 2019 9:05 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
I remember Fort McMurray! I saw three extremely creepy/god-awful videos from it (the camera that broadcast the living room as the home got swallowed up by fire, the porch fire that .would. not. die., and the fire creeping to a pickup in a line of cars trying to evacuate out) and they're still stuck like glue in my brain.

Here in SoCal we used to have a fire season, but now they say it's year-round. Last calendar year here was so-so for fires, but the northern half of Calif got clobbered. So far we're not doing too badly!! YAY!! They were saying that because of the previous '18-19 good winter rain season

we'd have a bumper crop of dried grasses and weeds just waiting to burn. SO FAR ... not yet. Maybe because the air's been pretty humid. Though it'll start getting trickier once the dry Santa Ana's start blowing to offshore from the desert, which usually starts in October.

As much as I love the rain, you reminded me of how I hate being out and about in soggy weather.

I think I remember you do, too. So stay dry ... And warm!

I remember the videos too from Fort McMurray. Scary indeed.

Hope your area manages to avoid fires.

I do hate being soggy. Luckily being closer to everything now means I wasn't soggy at all today. Would have been 3x worse if I had to wait on buses to get where I had to go today.

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Thursday, August 22, 2019 7:13 PM

Shredding some old papers of my dad's this afternoon. I never knew how much the Veteran's Affairs stuck their nose into his business. From when I was 3 till I was 13years my parents bought 4houses and with each purchase the Canadian VA had to have a say.

Freakin' Ottawa.

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Thursday, August 22, 2019 9:57 PM

I hear ya on the running in place Sigs. I've certainly got my good days and my bad days, and at times it felt like I wasn't really getting anywhere, especially when I started this de-hoarding process. Then when everything is pinning you down and making you feel claustrophobic, life swoops in and gives you a nice suckerpunch on top of it.

But it will get better if you keep doing right. You'll bounce back. I hope you're able to work that insurance stuff out and get those sinus problems taken care of once and for all.

Sucks about the VA getting in your old man's business like that, Brenda. Interesting for you to know, but I'm glad you're still shreddin'. Time to get rid of all that crap you don't need!

Had a great productive day again today. Thursdays always seem to be my most productive since it's garbage day. :)

Got another two cans out and an old fold up chair with a cloth top that's been sitting in this house for 8 years and never used. It was a nice little chair and quite comfortable, but I discovered you can't separate it from the legs to wash it. It still reeked of smoke from back in the days when I smoked in my apartment and it had to go...

Mowed the lawn and killed it on the de-weeding and edging. Filled another can halfway full with it. Aside from my back patio pavers being destroyed by the ants, my property has never looked better from the street than it does today.

Also went through my old artwork and got rid of about half of it that was lousy and/or unfinished. Saved all of the good ones including my award winning stuff. Finished going through all of the sentimental stuff and culled that down to about 1/3rd of what it used to be as well and now have it in a small shell case of a box to protect it all from the elements.

Then I decided to get rid of the patio furniture. I figured I'd put it out a week early and give passerby's a full week to mull that one over. I hadn't washed the top of the glass table in probably 3 years. The sides of the table had a bit of green "algie" type stuff growing on it. The aluminum chairs had paint chipping off of them because when the wind would blow it banged them all over the place. I half though that would be on my driveway until next garbage day.

15 minutes later it was gone.

Going to get rid of my elliptical machine. Paid good money for that 12 years ago and used it twice. I hate working out at home. I'm going to need to get a gym membership again when I get all of my affairs in order... especially if I don't get a highly physical job like my last one.

Got a great tan this week too.

Oh... and I got my energy bill for the month too. 4 less days on the billing cycle than last month, but it was $6 less than last month too. I used that blower fairly sparingly compared to thinking I'd have it on 10-12 hours every night, but I wasn't a scrooge with it and it was on more nights than not... at least for 4-6 hours.

It definitely costs some money to run it, but nowhere near as much as I had imagined it might after last month's bill. I've also made sure though that I was doing my best to turn my computer and TV off when they weren't in use as well, so I'm sure that helped.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Thursday, August 22, 2019 11:49 PM

>>Sucks about the VA getting in your old man's business like that, Brenda. Interesting for you to know, but I'm glad you're still shreddin'. Time to get rid of all that crap you don't need!<<

Reading that did suck. I mean he was just trying to do right by his wife and children but the VA had to make sure that he was obeying their rules, so he wouldn't loose his army pension. Heck! Over 1 house he had to prove that me and my brother existed by sending them copies of our birth certificates.

It is interesting but upsetting too. Yeah, it is time as there is no need for any of that stuff anymore. My dad's been gone over 40years now. So, I will keep shredding until I don't need to.

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Friday, August 23, 2019 2:36 AM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Thanks for the words of encouragement SIX. And believe it ir not, your progress really cheers me up!

So at this end dear daugther and I are marking the lines for her fancy paint job. Since this is all horizontal stripes and her bedroom has one very long wall, this is definitely a two-person job, Fortunately hubby has an 8 ft straight edge and a pretty long spirit level. She was totally unfamiliar with how to use a spirit level and unfamiliar with how to use a level and a straight edge together, so we struggled a little bit with whose hands were on what equipment but eventually we figured out a system and now she knows how use both. I plan on finishing the marking Saturday and taping two of the stripes and ... if we get done fast enough painting them as well (As you know SIX, it's always the prep that takes the longest!) If we get two of the stripes done by Sunday we can do the other two on Monday (after our dental appointment) and Tuesday, so by the end of Tuesday her room will be ready enuf to move back in. That's the goal. I'm looking forward to crossing that off the list.

-----------.
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Friday, August 23, 2019 8:33 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
>>Sucks about the VA getting in your old man's business like that, Brenda. Interesting for you to know, but I'm glad you're still shreddin'. Time to get rid of all that crap you don't need!<<

Reading that did suck. I mean he was just trying to do right by his wife and children but the VA had to make sure that he was obeying their rules, so he wouldn't loose his army pension. Heck! Over 1 house he had to prove that me and my brother existed by sending them copies of our birth certificates.

It is interesting but upsetting too. Yeah, it is time as there is no need for any of that stuff anymore. My dad's been gone over 40years now. So, I will keep shredding until I don't need to.

Good for you Brenda. :)

Have you started noticing yet a feeling like you're having a weight lifted off of your shoulders?

My old man goes through something similar to what your father went through with my brother's social security disability and the other programs he's in. My brother can't do any of it himself. Recently, he had gotten them to mail out copies of any communication to both of them. The last time something important came though, it only went to my dad. So my dad called them up and "fixed" it, but the next piece that came only went to my brother. I told him that he's going to have to just have the stuff sent to him if they can't get it right. It's really no good in my brother's hands. There was something time sensitive in the last mailer that my dad had to physically drive down to his place a few weeks earlier than he had planned to to read himself when my brother said he couldn't find any dates on it.

Fortunately, my dad is very meticulous about making the plans out for how to take care of all of this stuff. When he goes, there is no way my brother will be able to do any of it himself and he will need my other brother and I to do it for him.

Guess I'm making all this room for a new mountain of paperwork when that time comes.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Friday, August 23, 2019 8:47 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Thanks for the words of encouragement SIX. And believe it ir not, your progress really cheers me up!

So at this end dear daugther and I are marking the lines for her fancy paint job. Since this is all horizontal stripes and her bedroom has one very long wall, this is definitely a two-person job, Fortunately hubby has an 8 ft straight edge and a pretty long spirit level. She was totally unfamiliar with how to use a spirit level and unfamiliar with how to use a level and a straight edge together, so we struggled a little bit with whose hands were on what equipment but eventually we figured out a system and now she knows how use both. I plan on finishing the marking Saturday and taping two of the stripes and ... if we get done fast enough painting them as well (As you know SIX, it's always the prep that takes the longest!) If we get two of the stripes done by Sunday we can do the other two on Monday (after our dental appointment) and Tuesday, so by the end of Tuesday her room will be ready enuf to move back in. That's the goal. I'm looking forward to crossing that off the list.

-----------.
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

Glad to hear, Sigs. I hope we're all inspiring each other to keep pressing on and getting more stuff done today that doesn't need to be put off until tomorrow anymore.

Yup. Prep work sucks, but you're going to be so much happier in the long run when it's all done that you took the time to do it.

Speaking of that... I'm meeting up with my friend to help him on the house again today. It's his inspection day. I hope they finally get off his ass with the work they've seen done and that we can make the entire outside watertight by the end of the weekend.

I'll be painting today, which I have to be honest is something I really don't want to be doing with all of my structural issues still not being tended to yet.

I'm a little concerned about my friend. We were always drinkers and partiers back in our day for sure, but he always seemed to have a real level head on his shoulders.

But recently I've noticed a few times where he's become forgetful. Like we'd talk on the phone about something one day and then a week later it's as if we never had that conversation. I chalked it up to him being extremely busy with his work and family life, and this house taking up most of his mental energy after that.

But I think he's got a drinking problem. The last time we worked I knew he had a few at the end of the day, but then he asked me to drive. He's got a nice vehicle. First, he presented it to me as "just wanted to let you take it for a spin". I told him I'm really not comfortable driving cars that aren't my own, but then he looked serious and said "please".

I said "what. You've only had a few beers. Stop being a pussy, you'll be alright".

He then told me he had like 7 or 8 all day.

What the hell. He must have been guzzling them in the garage while he was going for tools or making grout or something.

At some point I said something like "I'm the last person to judge you man.", and then he smiled and said "Maybe you should. Maybe I need it."

Uh oh. I know what that is. I'm very familiar with that behavior. Far too familiar.

Sure enough, the next morning when we were working I tested the waters and made a joking offhanded comment about maybe going easy on the beers today, to which he seemed rather annoyed that I said it. I wasn't counting, but when we went out to get coffee he picked up more beer and wasn't shy about drinking them either.

He's highly functional. He's got a really nice house, a great job, a great fiancee, he gets things done. But I was highly functional at one point myself. It probably varies from person to person, but I don't think that's something anybody can keep up forever.

I'm worried about him. I just don't know what to do about it.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Friday, August 23, 2019 1:12 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

SIX, I just hope he keeps his promise to you about fixing up your porch. You might want to ask him an occasional question about "how would he do such and such" to your porch, technique-oriented questions for your edification, and to keep that project front and center in his brain.

Yanno, hubby used to work construction when he was young. He was a mason's helper and, being big and strong they gave him the heaviest jobs, like carrying a 300-lb flue up a ladder. One time they had just put a cellar wall up but because of rain it was threatening to collapse, so he went down into the hole and tossed 1100 cement blocks up to save them in case everything caved in. He still has nightmares about being buried alive. Anyway, the point was that this particular contruction crew ran on beer. Each person probably drank a couple of six-packs OR MORE per day. (If anyone were to break open the cement blocks from their projects, quite a number of them would have empty beer bottles in them!) It was a source of energy and a way of staying hydrated, and for all the beer that hubby drank he never became an alcholic and neither did anyone else of the crew, that I know of. Maybe this is a case of that, I don't know.

It's possible his drinking is situational, and when his worries clear up his drinking will too. It's possible that he drinks only when working heavily. Or maybe he fels unwell or is on pain. Or maybe has has a problem of much longer standing, but you won't know until the construction is ended INCLUDING YOUR PORCH and you get to see him when the pressure is off. IMHO most people drink as a form of self-medication (for anxiety, self-doubt, pain or other feelings of unwellness etc). Then at some point the drink BECOMES the problem that they self-medicate for, but I don't know where your frined is at. I would probably give him a bottle of Super B Complex (either Nature Made or Nature's Choice) vitamins since heavy drinkers need a lot more B1 to process the alcohol, plus the B12 should help with his memory.

If after the construction merry-go-round stops he is STILL drinking, then I don't know what your best option is. You definitely don't want to be an enabler ... protecting him from the consequences of his drinking ... but needs some thought because you can only influence him if you manage to stay in contact.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Friday, August 23, 2019 1:17 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
>>Sucks about the VA getting in your old man's business like that, Brenda. Interesting for you to know, but I'm glad you're still shreddin'. Time to get rid of all that crap you don't need!<<

Reading that did suck. I mean he was just trying to do right by his wife and children but the VA had to make sure that he was obeying their rules, so he wouldn't loose his army pension. Heck! Over 1 house he had to prove that me and my brother existed by sending them copies of our birth certificates.

It is interesting but upsetting too. Yeah, it is time as there is no need for any of that stuff anymore. My dad's been gone over 40years now. So, I will keep shredding until I don't need to.

Good for you Brenda. :)

Have you started noticing yet a feeling like you're having a weight lifted off of your shoulders?

My old man goes through something similar to what your father went through with my brother's social security disability and the other programs he's in. My brother can't do any of it himself. Recently, he had gotten them to mail out copies of any communication to both of them. The last time something important came though, it only went to my dad. So my dad called them up and "fixed" it, but the next piece that came only went to my brother. I told him that he's going to have to just have the stuff sent to him if they can't get it right. It's really no good in my brother's hands. There was something time sensitive in the last mailer that my dad had to physically drive down to his place a few weeks earlier than he had planned to to read himself when my brother said he couldn't find any dates on it.

Fortunately, my dad is very meticulous about making the plans out for how to take care of all of this stuff. When he goes, there is no way my brother will be able to do any of it himself and he will need my other brother and I to do it for him.

Guess I'm making all this room for a new mountain of paperwork when that time comes.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

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Friday, August 23, 2019 1:19 PM

Off to see what is causing all the feedback with my hearing aides since they have been repaired. Also need to find some small flat head screws. Gotta fix something of my mom's that I found a few days ago and I want to keep.

Later peeps.

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Friday, August 23, 2019 1:41 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:

Sucks about the VA getting in your old man's business like that, Brenda. Interesting for you to know, but I'm glad you're still shreddin'. Time to get rid of all that crap you don't need!- SIX

Reading that did suck. I mean he was just trying to do right by his wife and children but the VA had to make sure that he was obeying their rules, so he wouldn't loose his army pension. Heck! Over 1 house he had to prove that me and my brother existed by sending them copies of our birth certificates.
It is interesting but upsetting too. Yeah, it is time as there is no need for any of that stuff anymore. My dad's been gone over 40years now. So, I will keep shredding until I don't need to. - BRENDA

Good for you Brenda. :) Have you started noticing yet a feeling like you're having a weight lifted off of your shoulders?
My old man goes through something similar to what your father went through with my brother's social security disability and the other programs he's in. My brother can't do any of it himself. Recently, he had gotten them to mail out copies of any communication to both of them. The last time something important came though, it only went to my dad. So my dad called them up and "fixed" it, but the next piece that came only went to my brother. I told him that he's going to have to just have the stuff sent to him if they can't get it right. It's really no good in my brother's hands. There was something time sensitive in the last mailer that my dad had to physically drive down to his place a few weeks earlier than he had planned to to read himself when my brother said he couldn't find any dates on it.

Fortunately, my dad is very meticulous about making the plans out for how to take care of all of this stuff. When he goes, there is no way my brother will be able to do any of it himself and he will need my other brother and I to do it for him.

Guess I'm making all this room for a new mountain of paperwork when that time comes.

Do Right, Be Right. - SIX

I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.
I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.
Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.
My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help. BRENDA

I am dear daughter's representative payee and will probably shortly become her (limited) conservator. Most likely SIX, your dad is your brother's conservator. When he dies, someone will have to take his place. Possibly that has already been worked out with your other brother.

The paperwork is a nightmare, the bureaucracy is bumbling, but it's intended to prevent fraud and abuse. Can you imagine what would happen if there were no controls whatsoever on who got government money? A it is, there is STILL quite a bit of fraud and abuse in the system ... I recall sitting in the Social Security office for dear daughter's re-evaluation of disability and looking at the other people sitting there and thinking ... what the hell is wrong with THEM? I just personally became aware that someone I met is collecting $1600/mo of my taxpayer's money for a disability that doesn't exist. It's furstrating and inefficient, but if anyone can think of a better way please let me know.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Friday, August 23, 2019 3:03 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Friday, August 23, 2019 9:03 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

Oddly enough I do enjoy the sorting and even the shredding. I was absolutely giddy when I got a kitchen table and chairs.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 12:32 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
SIX, I just hope he keeps his promise to you about fixing up your porch. You might want to ask him an occasional question about "how would he do such and such" to your porch, technique-oriented questions for your edification, and to keep that project front and center in his brain.

Yanno, hubby used to work construction when he was young. He was a mason's helper and, being big and strong they gave him the heaviest jobs, like carrying a 300-lb flue up a ladder. One time they had just put a cellar wall up but because of rain it was threatening to collapse, so he went down into the hole and tossed 1100 cement blocks up to save them in case everything caved in. He still has nightmares about being buried alive. Anyway, the point was that this particular contruction crew ran on beer. Each person probably drank a couple of six-packs OR MORE per day. (If anyone were to break open the cement blocks from their projects, quite a number of them would have empty beer bottles in them!) It was a source of energy and a way of staying hydrated, and for all the beer that hubby drank he never became an alcholic and neither did anyone else of the crew, that I know of. Maybe this is a case of that, I don't know.

It's possible his drinking is situational, and when his worries clear up his drinking will too. It's possible that he drinks only when working heavily. Or maybe he fels unwell or is on pain. Or maybe has has a problem of much longer standing, but you won't know until the construction is ended INCLUDING YOUR PORCH and you get to see him when the pressure is off. IMHO most people drink as a form of self-medication (for anxiety, self-doubt, pain or other feelings of unwellness etc). Then at some point the drink BECOMES the problem that they self-medicate for, but I don't know where your frined is at. I would probably give him a bottle of Super B Complex (either Nature Made or Nature's Choice) vitamins since heavy drinkers need a lot more B1 to process the alcohol, plus the B12 should help with his memory.

If after the construction merry-go-round stops he is STILL drinking, then I don't know what your best option is. You definitely don't want to be an enabler ... protecting him from the consequences of his drinking ... but needs some thought because you can only influence him if you manage to stay in contact.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

Yeah. I'm pretty concerned about him. I'm not sure if he finished the two 6 packs of Icehouse he bought before we started today or if he forgot to bring the rest with him, but I was driving us home again tonight. At least he had the good sense to pull over shortly after we left and have me drive. But right on the main corner before we got to his house he had me pull into the gas station. I thought he was getting gas, but he was getting more beer. :(

He explains it away like you just did about your husband. Maybe that's what it is for him, but I'm getting a real feeling of "you can't bullshit a bullshitter" here.

To be fair, I was never capable of working on anything serious when I was either drunk or high. He's always been able do do either or both. But that fucking Icehouse is the Devil's Brew that I was drinking by the truckload when I nearly destroyed my life. These aren't Lite beers. They're the American version of Mudders Milk.

I'm hoping it's just the stress. He does seem a lot quicker to anger than I remember him being. Road rage, and the like. After the middle of the day he must have enough in him to not be that way anymore, but he's certainly not a morning person. I probably told him early on before we got rolling that everything was going to be all right at least half a dozen times, which usually got him to defocus on whatever was frustrating him at the time, like misplaced tools and the like.

I dunno. We got a lot done today. But he's got so much more to do on that house. In comparison, my work seems almost trivial compared to what needs to be done there. But my porch, both of them really, need to be taken care of ASAP before the damage gets worse or beyond repair. I can't just keep giving him free labor because he's got an actual deadline with the city. It will only be a matter of time before something catastrophic structurally happens at my place then I'm going to be in the same boat or maybe even worse.

I was fucking weed wacking at one point because these pig tennants are, well... pigs. He's been telling them for a month to do it before the inspector came today and only this morning did the slob of a mom come out to do some of it while taking frequent breaks and talking about how hard it was.

I'm weedwacking some stranger's walkways while I've got real problems to deal with at home.

But hallelujah! They at least cleaned up the 60 piles of dogshit off their grass so we weren't dodging land mines all day again today.

I don't mind paying it forward, but I'm going to have to be getting my back scratched pretty soon here.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

Good for you that you're doing it now.

Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
I am dear daughter's representative payee and will probably shortly become her (limited) conservator. Most likely SIX, your dad is your brother's conservator. When he dies, someone will have to take his place. Possibly that has already been worked out with your other brother.

The paperwork is a nightmare, the bureaucracy is bumbling, but it's intended to prevent fraud and abuse. Can you imagine what would happen if there were no controls whatsoever on who got government money? A it is, there is STILL quite a bit of fraud and abuse in the system ... I recall sitting in the Social Security office for dear daughter's re-evaluation of disability and looking at the other people sitting there and thinking ... what the hell is wrong with THEM? I just personally became aware that someone I met is collecting $1600/mo of my taxpayer's money for a disability that doesn't exist. It's furstrating and inefficient, but if anyone can think of a better way please let me know.

Yup. Every time my dad tells me about some seemingly ludicris hoop he's got to jump through I just laugh and tell him that's how the system is designed. There's no way they're going to streamline it and make it as easy as just filling out online forms, even though they could have done that 15 years ago. It would make their jobs easier, but the payouts would be 10 times as much if people didn't have to work at it at all. It's easy to weed out a ton of people who shouldn't be getting benefits at all just by using hoops. Lazy people are lazy.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 1:53 AM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Hey Six

About your friend ... fwiw I've been in some serious pain for almost 2 decades. I used to drink a half-bottle of wine BEFORE I did yard work; not because it helped with the pain, but to get me to the point where I didn't care about how much it was going to hurt, so I could just start. (Eventually I gave up trying to do yard work.) And then I looked after a child with chronic partial seizures and frequent nasty ones. If it was a one-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, it was a normal response to the stressful behaviors. If it was a two-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, a warning flag went up. If it was a three-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, FOR SURE the child was going to have a nasty seizure within the next 24 hours. So I can see how people drink due to pain or stress, even over a long time.

But I have a natural 'off' switch with alcohol - if I have say a half-bottle of wine (or equivalent) 2 or 3 days in a row, my stomach just kills me, and it takes a week or more to feel better. So I never get to the point of chronically drinking. IDK about your friend.

I have a relative who started drinking because of chronic pain, and they ended up a serious alcoholic.

Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating?

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 1:57 AM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!

I second that! I think the old place must have weighed on you heavily. But now things are way better!

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Oddly enough I do enjoy the sorting and even the shredding. I was absolutely giddy when I got a kitchen table and chairs.

Oh that sounds really enjoyable!

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 2:11 AM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Just in general about paperwork ...

I've written extremely complicated technical procedures that involved multiple pieces of software, specifications (like NIST), multiple procedures (like NATTS/ PAMS/ ASTM), skills, requirements, and in-house instructions (for home-built policies and procedures like legal sample storage and document retention or 'how to calibrate model zzz freezer).

Because of that, imo, given a knowledgeable person or set of people to do the documenting, I'm a firm believer that it can all be reduced to independently-accessible (and editable), but procedurally-linked, flowchart steps.

If it can't, then, imo, there's something wrong with the foundation the paperwork is built on.

I just can't excuse non-functionality because ... ... 'it's complicated'. If it's not straightened out, it's because making it functional wasn't a priority.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 2:53 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

Good for you that you're doing it now.

Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Quote:

Do Right, Be Right. :)

Gotta be done now.

Unfortunately no love letters between my folks. Just my dad's birth certificate and my grandparents(my dad's parents} marriage license. Another small document showing how many horses my granddad was taking across the line to sell one time. Old but from my family's history point of view valuable.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 2:58 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
It's a good thing BRENDA that your things finally came out of storage and you get to sort thru them. I'm still pleased beyond what I can express that you're out of that dark, dank, substandard hole that you were in, and in a place that has room, light, and functional utilities! Happy sorting!
I second that! I think the old place must have weighed on you heavily. But now things are way better!

It did weigh me down terribly Kiki. Definitely added to my depression. They are so much better.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Oddly enough I do enjoy the sorting and even the shredding. I was absolutely giddy when I got a kitchen table and chairs.

Oh that sounds really enjoyable!

I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 3:09 AM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:52 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Hey Six

About your friend ... fwiw I've been in some serious pain for almost 2 decades. I used to drink a half-bottle of wine BEFORE I did yard work; not because it helped with the pain, but to get me to the point where I didn't care about how much it was going to hurt, so I could just start. (Eventually I gave up trying to do yard work.) And then I looked after a child with chronic partial seizures and frequent nasty ones. If it was a one-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, it was a normal response to the stressful behaviors. If it was a two-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, a warning flag went up. If it was a three-glass-of-wine-day after I got home, FOR SURE the child was going to have a nasty seizure within the next 24 hours. So I can see how people drink due to pain or stress, even over a long time.

I appreciate the empathy. Not being a wine drinker myself though, I'm going to venture to guess that though a half bottle of wine is nothing to sneeze at, especially if you're smaller than we are, we're not talking about the levels of self destructive behavior I definitely went through and those that I'm worried I'm witnessing my friend exhibit right now. I could be wrong though. I hope you didn't damage yourself or relationships with it, and that you're not still doing it today if you're worried about that.

Quote:
But I have a natural 'off' switch with alcohol - if I have say a half-bottle of wine (or equivalent) 2 or 3 days in a row, my stomach just kills me, and it takes a week or more to feel better. So I never get to the point of chronically drinking. IDK about your friend.

Oh, right. Forgive me. I read this late last night but since I had to get up to meet him again today I was tired and needed to get to bed instead of replying then. I'm glad that it never became a problem for you, and especially that you didn't "power through" the nausia.

I don't see what happens when I'm not there. He doesn't seem to be getting sick over it and looks healthy for his age. But when I was at my worst and going through two day drinking binges I might have thrown up 2 or 3 times and kept going.

Quote:
I have a relative who started drinking because of chronic pain, and they ended up a serious alcoholic.

Sorry to hear that. I can only imagine how that must have been having only been on the other side of it before. I'm still not jumping the gun here, but my level of concern is in the orange right now.

Quote:
Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating?

I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.

He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.

But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.

We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.

I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, especially since I shut out all my friends back in the day since I was literally killing myself with the stuff. I don't know his fiancee well enough to talk to her about it, and even if I did I can't imagine that I'd ever do that to him. I really feel helpless about it right now. Maybe like you said I should just keep tabs on him after both of our main work is done and his life becomes a bit less stressful. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to even deal with the level of stress his overall situation has become.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:59 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

Good for you that you're doing it now.

Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Quote:

Do Right, Be Right. :)

Gotta be done now.

Unfortunately no love letters between my folks. Just my dad's birth certificate and my grandparents(my dad's parents} marriage license. Another small document showing how many horses my granddad was taking across the line to sell one time. Old but from my family's history point of view valuable.

Well, sorry about the lack of love letters, I'm sure you would have loved to read them. But you've got the idea. :)

The love letters/bank statements was from a song that came out in the late 90's that for some reason really stuck with me. Now that I turned 40 today, it means even more than it did back when I was 20.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 11:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.
It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!

Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.

Have a good day.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 11:14 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
Quote:
Originally posted by 6IXSTRINGJACK:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I've been wanting to do this for years but just haven't been able to what with all the moving around and my stuff having to go into storage for a bit.

I do. It's good going through the clutter that my mom forgot about and seeing what happened around the time I was born and before.

Your brother is lucky to have you and your dad to do this stuff for him. Paperwork with ANY government agency is a pain in the butt. Doesn't matter what side of the line you are on.

My dad had a fight to get one of his pensions. My poor mom had to go on a letter writing campaign to get a copy of his birth certificate from Alberta, a letter from his oldest sister but the hospital he was born in burned down and so those records were gone. The school he attended would have been gone by the late 60s out there. Think she had to write one of his aunts as well. Good thing they still had his army discharge papers to help.

Good for you that you're doing it now.

Save the love letters. Throw away old bank statements.
Quote:

Do Right, Be Right. :)

Gotta be done now.

Unfortunately no love letters between my folks. Just my dad's birth certificate and my grandparents(my dad's parents} marriage license. Another small document showing how many horses my granddad was taking across the line to sell one time. Old but from my family's history point of view valuable.

Well, sorry about the lack of love letters, I'm sure you would have loved to read them. But you've got the idea. :)

The love letters/bank statements was from a song that came out in the late 90's that for some reason really stuck with me. Now that I turned 40 today, it means even more than it did back when I was 20.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

I would have loved to read something like that and I know that is something that my mom would have kept if my dad was inclined to write. When she went back east to work before they got married I know they talked on the phone a bit. Long distance phone calls were cheaper back then.

I know Jack.

I don't know that song. Didn't really hear any of the music from the 90s really. But the song does have a point.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 11:15 AM

Work today. Up and out.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 12:13 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:

Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating? - KIKI

I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.
He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.
But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.
We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.

I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, especially since I shut out all my friends back in the day since I was literally killing myself with the stuff. I don't know his fiancee well enough to talk to her about it, and even if I did I can't imagine that I'd ever do that to him. I really feel helpless about it right now. Maybe like you said I should just keep tabs on him after both of our main work is done and his life becomes a bit less stressful. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to even deal with the level of stress his overall situation has become.- SIX

Try to keep him from killing himself on the jobsite or the road, and stay mum until your porch is finished. THEN see how he behaves presuming the pressure is off. THEN you can say something.

Just OOC what kind of stress is he under? I gather that he has a full-time job and rental property (properties?) that need serious work to be brought up to code, plus a fiancee and marriage on the horizon. Does he have an ex? Child support? Does his fiancee have children from a previous relationship? Is he in debt? Is he in pain? Does he have a chronic medical condition? Any other sources of stress? In other words, is he living in a pressure-cooker right now?

I don't know what the most effective thing to say might be, tho. You don't want to drive him away, and it's unlikely that just having one talk or making a couple of comments will sink in. Maybe the most important thing to do right now is talk to him about HIS LIFE? Find solutions for the stressors that he's under?

I dunno. Maybe "talking things out" is a girl thing, but that's what I would do. It might open the door for further conversation about his drinking.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 6:48 PM

I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 8:05 PM

Goodbye, kind world (George Monbiot) - In common with all those generations which have contemplated catastrophe, we appear to be incapable of understanding what confronts us.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.

Have a good day.

I know how it is when there's something you need to do. It might not be the most pressing thing to do, or the most important, but still ... you need to do it. And something's keeping you from it. So it's on you mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... it's like a little itch you can't scratch. And then - oh blessed day! - you can finally get to it. I think there's a certain relief and satisfaction. That's what I think.

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Saturday, August 24, 2019 9:19 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.

Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I know it sounds silly and it was such a little thing (getting the table and chairs), but not being able to do anything for so long. It was nice. Now, I just have to get a couch.

Quote:
Originally posted by 1KIKI:
It doesn't sound silly to me in the least bit.

Well, it's time I toddled off.

Goodnight!
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:

Good because I did think that I was a little ridiculous.

Have a good day.
I know how it is when there's something you need to do. It might not be the most pressing thing to do, or the most important, but still ... you need to do it. And something's keeping you from it. So it's on you mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... and on your mind a bit ... it's like a little itch you can't scratch. And then - oh blessed day! - you can finally get to it. I think there's a certain relief and satisfaction. That's what I think.

That was it exactly! There was a relief and satisfaction when that happened.

Soooooo nice to have somewhere to toss keys, change and put my jacket on a chair because there is no one here but me.

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 12:12 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:
Originally posted by Brenda:
I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.
Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

I see your point Sig. But when it is a work question and I am depending on that answer about something that she wants made and if it isn't done to her specifications.... Well, you get the picture.

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 4:12 AM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

Quote:

I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.= BRENDA

Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.- SIGNY

I see your point Sig. But when it is a work question and I am depending on that answer about something that she wants made and if it isn't done to her specifications.... Well, you get the picture.

Yes I do. What I do at home isn't possible for omeone at work. It's a rude, power-play kind of behavior on your boss' part. I'm trying to think of a clever way to make that stop without getting you in trouble, but so far I haven't thought of one ....

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 5:19 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:

Not to be mercenary about it, but how fast are the relative timetables going, in your opinion? The alcohol impairment of your friend v the time to the completion of his work? Do you think he's stable or quickly escalating? - KIKI

I can't speak to the escalation. We haven't worked all that many days together, actually, since we just started in early august and missed last weekend due to the rain all weekend. He's only able to work around his full time job.
He's quick, and he's good at it. It helps that despite the drinking he seems to be keeping himself in relatively good shape compared to the fat sack of malnourished shit I withered into when I was at my worst.
But he's making dumb mistakes. He cut two fingers by pinching them in this terribly heavy extendable ladder he's got that I absolutely hate using since it's ridiculously heavy compared to both of mine. He's got some paint touch up work from late in the day for stuff that spilled that I would consider beyond what is reasonable. He was working on scaffolding right under an American flag and when he left to do something the flag blew at his paint bucket and it was ruined.
We're making good progress, but I'm seeing mistakes that I would consider inexcusable if we were on a legitimate job site and I was the foreman.

I'm just wondering when and if I should say anything about it. It's really not my place, especially since I shut out all my friends back in the day since I was literally killing myself with the stuff. I don't know his fiancee well enough to talk to her about it, and even if I did I can't imagine that I'd ever do that to him. I really feel helpless about it right now. Maybe like you said I should just keep tabs on him after both of our main work is done and his life becomes a bit less stressful. I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to even deal with the level of stress his overall situation has become.- SIX

Try to keep him from killing himself on the jobsite or the road, and stay mum until your porch is finished. THEN see how he behaves presuming the pressure is off. THEN you can say something.

Just OOC what kind of stress is he under? I gather that he has a full-time job and rental property (properties?) that need serious work to be brought up to code, plus a fiancee and marriage on the horizon. Does he have an ex? Child support? Does his fiancee have children from a previous relationship? Is he in debt? Is he in pain? Does he have a chronic medical condition? Any other sources of stress? In other words, is he living in a pressure-cooker right now?

I don't know what the most effective thing to say might be, tho. You don't want to drive him away, and it's unlikely that just having one talk or making a couple of comments will sink in. Maybe the most important thing to do right now is talk to him about HIS LIFE? Find solutions for the stressors that he's under?

I dunno. Maybe "talking things out" is a girl thing, but that's what I would do. It might open the door for further conversation about his drinking.

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

That's good advice. I think it's all I can really do at this point until we get our collective situations more under control.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 5:23 AM

About that three boxes of crystal I was planning on getting rid of...

Um...

I'm going to have to do some research on it and figure out just exactly what I have in my hands
here. If it's "St. Louis Crystal", which it very likely is considering the source, that's
probably not the type of thing you want to give away to Goodwill. There are a lot of
knockoffs out there that don't go for much even if they have legit gold trim, but even if
it doesn't seem to retain its retail value, the SLC variety seems to go for quite a bit used
on ebay.

Example: https://www.ebay.com/itm/Old-Saint-Louis-1936-Or-Later-Thistle-Test-Ba
ccarat/293176424743?_trkparms=aid%3D333200%26algo%3DCOMP.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20171012094517%26meid%3Df0301832fca940a6a30486b854d65275%26pid%3D100008%26rk%3D5%26rkt%3D8%26sd%3D193058205059%26itm%3D293176424743%26pmt%3D1%26noa%3D0%26pg%3D2047675&_trksid=p2047675.c100008.m2219

If they actually sell this one piece for over $400, I've got 3 boxes of those things.

And I'm pretty sure the full sets I was seeing on Killjoys and whatever movie I'd just
recently seen them in were not the real deal now.

[sorry for the weird line breaks I had to use here. The ebay link was screwing up the
post, at least on my end]

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 5:26 AM

Or how about a set of 6 for $1,599?

https://www.ebay.com/itm/6-ST-LOUIS-Crystal-Goblets-THISTLE-PATTERN-w-
Gold-Overlay-7-5-H-MINT/333199735956?hash=item4d94407c94:g:khYAAOSw76hc3lkM:sc:USPSPriority!46319!US!-1

Gaudy AF. Who in their right mind would pay that much money for something so ugly?

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 11:22 AM

So yesterday...

Yesterday, yesterday, yesterday...

Called my friend up to let him know I was on my way. I could tell he got up right at the same time and was still shaking out the cobwebs. I get to his house and he says, "you're going to be really pissed". Uh oh.

His fiancee reminded him they had a wedding to be at that they needed to start getting ready for at 1:00PM. Since I don't have a cell phone, he wasn't able to call me to tell me that until I drove my happy ass out there and paid my first toll.

Sweet.

I just told him "It is what it is".

You could see the guilt on his face about it. Especially since it was my birthday and we were talking about going out after work the day before.

I wasn't mad though. The only thing I was mad about was that I haven't yet gotten at least some measurements for the wood that we needed, because he said maybe we could go pick up the lumber we needed for my job with the time he still had. But now I've got him letting me know he's good for transport, so I won't have to rent a truck to do it myself when we get it. He's also (supposed to) come over to my place after work one night this week so we can take a second look at the problem together and get measurements and a list of things we need... maybe even pick the stuff up that night.

I think my mileage for getting stuff done on my end after the wedding thing happened greatly outweighs what it would have been if we worked a second day in a row until sundown.

We talked a lot about the projects I need done before I can start working on the smaller things in the house that I can do myself. Specifically the back and front porch issues.

While we were at it, it somehow turned into a de-hoarding of his own garage. We spent a few hours clearing about 1/8 of the crap he had in is garage out.

I'd say things like "I don't want to be annoying here, but do you want to hear my opinion about what I'd get rid of right now?" Then I'd point out 5 or six things and he'd get rid of one of them after mulling the choices all over. I'd say that I can't wait until he comes over next time and sees how empty my house is and how after I get rid of a few more things in the garage I'll be able to get to anything I'm looking for without having to move something out of the way to get to it. I let him know about how throwing a lot of this stuff out is essentially checking off a lot of things on your mental to-do list that you were never going to get to. It's all about encouraging them, and planting seeds in their minds about how much better off they'll be without the clutter that is getting in their way.

I told him about how I have 7 flashlights now, and when I'm done using them I put them back where they belong. I told him about the 3 nail clippers, and how I could never find any of this shit when I needed it. I told him if he can manage to purge the shit that he really doesn't need and organizes the rest, he won't be flipping out at 10:00AM on a weekend when he can't find a 5-in-1 tool anymore like he had the day before.

I don't know how long it's been since they could park a car in that tiny, just barely 2 car garage with no depth to it, but they could manage to just squeeze one of them in there now. He's also got half of his work bench cleared off, which was also stacked 2 feet high with shit like mine was.

I was really bummed that I couldn't get him to commit to trashing the old projection screen TV, a tabletop Foosball table with a broken piece he picked out of the trash years ago, or a half busted electric scooter that I can't even imagine what he'd use it for at 40 years old even if he was able to fix it. His kid is too old for it.

Baby steps.

Maybe he'll be inspired for round two after he sees my house/garage.

So when I got home, before even opening my front door to my house, I had spent 1/2 hour in my car and garage, putting a few more boxes together for Goodwill, putting more crap out to the curb for people to pick up and rather than keeping the smaller workbench that I took for my brother to put in his own garage if he ever de-hoards it, I incorporated it into my own garage layout. Once I figure out what I'm finally doing with the 2nd set of bedroom furniture in the house and deciding which single twin bed frame I'm going to keep, the two that are out in the garage will not be in front of that 2nd work bench and I'll have two clear work benches on either side of the garage. I'll be able to attach the grinder and a vice to the larger one, and use the smaller one for my mitre saw... so no more cutting lumber on the floor in the middle of my garage with it.

Once all that was done, I pulled apart the elliptical from my basement, carried out the various pieces and put it back together outside except for bolting it back together. taped the screws/housings and the washers bolts together and threw them in the bag with the plug for the screen and all the tools that came with it for assembly and disassembly and taped a big note to it saying that all the parts and tools are in the bag.

It's still there now, but I notice that nothing usually disappears during the weekends when I leave it out there. I'm pretty confident that it will be gone before garbage day.

Got some paperwork/online stuff that's going to take up most of my morning I think. Hopefully I can get to some more stuff inside the house and garage today.

Hope you're all making progress too, or at least enjoying the weekend and not feeling guilty that you're not. Summer's almost over.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 2:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SIGNYM:
Quote:

I wish my boss would stop walking away from me as she is talking. Even with my hearing aides on I had to ask her to repeat herself to me twice because she and her husband did that. I told her that I've been having problems and once I even said please don't do that.

Gorram people.= BRENDA

Happens all the time at home. I've gotten to the point that I don't ask hubby to repeat himself ("I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't hear you. what did you say?") I simply don't respond. HE's the one who started talking, presumably he wants to be heard. Instead of me trotting after him, he has to head back in my direction if he wants me to respond.- SIGNY

I see your point Sig. But when it is a work question and I am depending on that answer about something that she wants made and if it isn't done to her specifications.... Well, you get the picture.
Yes I do. What I do at home isn't possible for omeone at work. It's a rude, power-play kind of behavior on your boss' part. I'm trying to think of a clever way to make that stop without getting you in trouble, but so far I haven't thought of one ....

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAY

I don't think there is a solution. I told her what the results for my left ear look like as I was taking off my hearing aides. Didn't really need them anymore as I was finished for the day. Said the right is just starting to go a little bit but that is just Father Time catching up to me. Course I also have to remind her that I am hypoglycemic and need to stop after a couple of hours of hard work and sit and eat. Her comment, "You are a good example. I should do that." Which is when I mentioned my condition. Being a doc she asked about diabetes. I said, "No, I am still walking that fine line between the two and so far I am on the right side of it. I also have never passed out because I have let my blood sugar get too low when I am out. "

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 2:43 PM

Lazy Sunday here.

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 10:15 PM

Damn...

Nope. I'm not sitting on a gold mine here with that crystal.

Looks like they got the knockoffs. A set of 5 that look identical to the ones I've got in the boxes are going on ebay for $75.00 plus $10.00 shipping. Probably still worth a few hundred bucks, maybe even over $500 or $1,000 in total if I took the time to list them all on ebay and sell them. I don't have time for that shit. Somebody at Goodwill is going to have a lucky day.

REAL ONES:

VS. THE FAKE ONES I'VE GOT:

Pretty sure I can still say that I've got the ones that were on Killjoys. I doubt they'd have the production budget to waste money on the real McCoy when 99,999 out of 100,000 people wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Sunday, August 25, 2019 10:32 PM

Yep. There it is:

I'm the proud owner of 3 boxes of "Rosedale" knockoff crap crystal that was featured in Season 2, Episode 5 "Meet the Parents" of Killjoys.

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Monday, August 26, 2019 4:36 PM

I'm starting to think that it's possible that all but two of the glasses I had were knockoffs of knockoffs.

I'm not sure how thin the gold flake is on the pricey ones, but I'm pretty sure you can't see through gold. Maybe at a single micron you can, so if there's gold on there it's like gold dust.

Went through them and there were actually two main varieties, then two different ones that were obviously much higher quality that had a much clearer musical "ping" to them and thick "gold" bands on them. I'm half tempted to say that one of the two main sets weren't even crystal and were straight up glass with gold colored aluminum tape on the rims.

Two and 3/4 more boxes out of my life for good once I get that crap to Goodwill.

The rest of the box had what I was looking for. Some genuine Wedgewood pieces that had sentimental value to me and were the only things of my grandmothers that I have today.

Not the exact pieces I have, but if you've ever seen anything like these then the were likely Wedgewoods:

I've got the two Christmas boxes to go through now. I'm going to get rid of anything in there that wasn't ornaments that have my name and year on them, and maybe a few that don't but I remember my Mom buying when we were kids. The rest of them are going to Goodwill too.

Managed to pack up three new boxes finally that made me re-think the other stuff I'm purging now. This will bring me up to a nice and even 20 boxes total when I combine the Wedgewoods with the ornaments that I'm keeping.

I think after that, there will only be two more boxes being packed that isn't artwork, guitars, clothes, toiletries, kitchen stuff, electronics currently in use and all of my tools that will eventually come with me out in the garage. (Jesus Christ I still have a lot of stuff, don't I?)

Still some more to go through in the house, but for the most part I think it's all getting thrown out except for the two boxes I anticipate adding.

My friend is supposed to be coming over Thursday after work so we can get our measurements and pick up lumber to start the job.

Hopefully all I have left by then is deciding what to do with the antique bedroom set I'm not keeping as well as one of the two twin bed frames in the garage. At that point, I should have full access to everything in my garage as well. :)

Do Right, Be Right. :)

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Monday, August 26, 2019 9:24 PM

I believe in solving problems, not sharing them.

At this end ... hubby has filled the stucco holes with that kind of stucco "mesh" that keeps it in place. (I got stuff better than the old chicken wire.) I'm no longer worried about the dog worming her way under the house ... or any other critter for that matter (mouse, rat, 'possum, or raccoon).

DD and I had our teeth cleaned today, and managed to tape and paint the green stripe. I'm doing the edging on the yellow stripe. We won't be done by tomorrow evening but we'll have three of four stripes painted, I think.

SIX, you have experience painting. Have you ever used painter's tape? We're using the stuff from 3M that promises not to let paint "bleed" under the tape edge, and I've got to say that (unlike other tapes) this does a nice job leaving a crisp line when the tape is peeled off. But the tape is SO adhesive it's actually pulled paint off the wall. I know youre not supposed to leave i on more than 24 hours, so we've been careful not to tape unless we can paint/peel tape within that time period.

Any advice?

*****

Nice to know that you're starting on your property! Does that mean that your friend's work is done? Has he passed inspection? Fingers crossed!

Congrats on the AWESOME job decluttering! We're not quite there yet; still doing repairs and such. But I look forward to the say when we too will start tossing en masse!!!

-----------
Pity would be no more,
If we did not MAKE men poor - William Blake

You idiots have been oppressing the entire sexual spectrum as long as you have existed. I can't wait for the day your kind is dead - WISHIMAYnk

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Monday, August 26, 2019 10:18 PM